HorseCentric

Guess who is coming to Texas?!

2012-01-26T23:20:00.002-06:00

Mark Rashid!

More news to follow, but I'm definitely planning on going... To audit, unfortunately, but auditing is better than nothing!!!

Today My Horse Reared, and I'm OK with That

2012-01-21T14:46:00.003-06:00

Before we talk about the R.I. (rearing incident) I thought I'd talk about two new horses at the barn. The Percheron and the Clydesdale.

These two horse were purchased over the internet by total newbies.

Yes, they know nothing about horses and said "I know, let's get two of the largest kind, over the internet and start riding!"

Unsurprisingly when their two horses arrived (at 2400 pounds a piece), they became a little intimidated.

Duh. I've been riding horses and have had my own for a little over five years now, and I'm intimidated by these mini elephants.

And for no good reason. These have got to be the sweetest, brokest, well trained horses ever (next to Lily). We watched the trainer work them in the round pen and got a chance to ride them. No pictures of me riding, but here's my DH - my friend KC rode and wrote about it here.

Personally I prefer a horse with a shoe smaller than a Frisbee, that doesn't go through a giant bale of hay in two minutes. Still the temperament of these two is remarkable. I rode this mare, she was sensitive to cues and stopped with my seat. Reminded me of Lily.

Their newbie owners are on a horse vacation in Costa Rica (riding Paso Finos, which will be quite a different experience from these super sized horses) and hopefully will come home with some more horse savvy. The horses, for their part, will be warmed up for riding and ready to go.

-------

Now then, the R. I.

As I mentioned there's not much riding going on these days. But today I had time. I was concerned that Smokey was going to have a hard time, having been off work for so long. Sure enough we walked in the round pen and he saw something and spooked.

Fortunately I hadn't untied him yet so I was able to keep him close while I looked for the issue.

The trailer. The draft horse trailer was a big stock trailer with a canvas top.

A flapping canvas top. We all know how Smokey feels about flapping canvas (see parade blog entry by Smokey). So instead of staying in the round pen I decided to walk around the trailer with my snorty boy.

I like finding moments like this. Finding things that worry him, then working him through it. I wasn't always like this, I dreaded these moments. But now its like when your kid gets through something difficult the first time. It's a blessing to be the one that gets them through. Soon I was climbing on the trailer and flapping the canvas by hand since the wind had died down.

Stephanie was saddling up Lily and we decided that Cibolo was blue about being left behind so we decided to give him a pony lesson. (Cibolo is awaiting a new saddle, he's been back sore with his old one). We didn't know if he knew how to pony so starting in the round pen seemed like a good first step. After a few minutes he had it down and we hit the trails.

It was a lovely ride on our local trails, we kept it simple. Cibolo got a little honery and Lily reminded him (without unseating Stephanie in the least - good horse!) to cut it out. We decided to put him up and let the horses run the pasture.

Cibolo didn't like being left behind. He led the two remaining members of his herd on a run along the fence line. Smokey found this EXTREMELY concerning. I was able to get him under control, but I knew this was a lot for him to handle. The herd raced around the fence line, in an out of trees just on the other side. Smokey grew beneath me.

Note to self - don't let the horses out when riding along that pasture. At least not when the alpha is jealous and irritated at being left behind. I could feel the struggle within Smokey. I know how much to ask of him, especially when we haven't been riding steadily.

He was trying, bless him. I stroked him on his neck, corrected him, worked on getting and keeping his focus as horses raced past us. On the fourth run near us, when we were the closest to the herd he began snaking his head. I corrected him mildly (we were riding in a bosal) and he finally went up in a little rear. I got him back down and back under control. I almost got off but waited until we were quiet. We ended our ride calm and safe. No bolt. No jigging back to the barn. No calling and circling.

In the end, he listened. In the end he was with me.

I'm OK with that.

(Of course Lily did NOTHING. Someday Smokey will be at that point too. Someday.)

Responding to the Alpha - and life update

2012-01-15T15:55:00.004-06:00

You know he's kind of a brat when you're not around.

Stephanie was over for dinner with Ryan, and we were talking about horses, as we love to do.

She was talking about Smokey. Smokey is that horse in the barn that is endearing, like an adorable child and can act like one that gets away with everything when at Grandma's house. With me he's not allowed to barge past to eat. Not allowed to do head tossing and twisting as I'm coming down to feed. In fact every horse is to enter quietly, I don't care how hungry they are or how late I am. If not they are last to eat.

No horses chase one another when I come to feed. It made me think about Smokey and how far we've come. I'm a bit down because there simply isn't time right now, not with everything going on, to do what I need to do with my horses. They need to travel, they need to go on trails, they need to be worked more than on Saturday.

Not gonna happen, not for a while.

But knowing my horse behaves well around me somehow made me feel like I'm doing something right in this one little corner of my crazy life.

And it's been crazy. Sierra's vertigo is back. She can't walk unless she closes her eyes, and is restricted to a wheel chair at home. She's missed the first two weeks of school with no end in sight. I finally have an appointment with a specialist on Wednesday (I was going to have to wait two more weeks).

Everything we've tried has failed. Physical therapy. Doctor won't give her any more steroids since it was only a temporary fix.

They want to do an MRI. And the MRI folks would like $$$, even with great insurance.

And don't forget we have her heart test coming up, now scheduled for the 31st.

And then there is the school. I've been keeping them informed and once I realized this new bout of vertigo wasn't going to go away I asked them for options. They needed a note from the doctor to invoke "section 504."

Doctor said "I don't have a diagnosis, you'll have to talk to the specialist."

At that point I couldn't get in with a specialist until the 30th (I have since called a different specialist).

Which means Sierra would fall so behind she might be forced to repeat the year.

Presuming she'll be walking again at some point.

I made an appointment with the doctor (having had all the communication funneled through his assistant). I hoped in person I could plead our case, he could write a note, I could get some help for Sierra for school at least.

He saw how bad she is, which is:

She can't walk.
She can't be exposed to loud sounds. Even your normal talking voice seems loud.
She can't stand.
She can't be in a place where there is a great deal of movement.

He gave me the note. I dropped her at Grammy's and took the note to the school. They said it was the wrong kind of note.

I lost it.

....

They've since got what they need, I go in on Tuesday to sign paperwork so she can do online learning.

My only horse time is feeding the horses. These pictures were from Christmas, when Sierra was walking. Before the symptoms came creeping back.

But if all I can do is feed, I'll be damned if horses are going to try to run around me like maniacs. There I have some control. There the world doesn't spin and dive, the ground doesn't shift. There the world runs without red tape, without weeks between appointments, with the simple logic of motion, feed, and the soft nuzzle of a horse looking for a cookie.

And on Friday our car broke down.

I'm really, really tired.

Horses in the new year

2011-12-31T14:26:00.003-06:00

This year will bring a major change for me and my horses. This year, by the summer, we will move.

Our goal is to find a place where our horses will live with us, and not just to save on board. For me it's about time. Right now when I go spend time with my horses it's two to three hours away from the family - 30-45 minutes of it is just travel time to the barn. I find it hard to get away very often for that much time.

I have this hope that when I live with my horses I will get some of the just "hang" time with them that is out of the question right now. Maybe this is an illusion, maybe the work of having two horses at home will take away the time I think I'll gain by not having to drive to them. More likely things probably even out. But it's still something I want to try, to experience having my horse outside my door.

We are looking at the rental market in DFW and it's pretty amazing. Plenty of properties, many with space for horses, many in our price range. So it seems like this will really happen. I will really look out a window and see a horse there.

Now we have to get our house ready - paint, empty, cull, prepare. I never want to sell it, this will always be home. But as we hand it over to someone else to rent, 2012 will send us out of our comfort zone and into a new world, a world where I don't know where the best place is for fresh milk, which friends I can count on, the short cut to take when traffic is tied up.

The road ahead turns in the woods, I can't see clearly if the path is smooth or challenging. But we've picked this road.

All that's left is to ride it.

What I Got For Christmas... by Smokey

2011-12-27T19:41:00.002-06:00

Hi there. Smokey here. Sorry we've been gone a little lately. There's going to be an update on Mom's other blog - the kids have been keeping things hoppin' on the home front. Me and Lily have just been hanging out in the mud. Cuz it has been raining and that's good, because everyone was saying there wasn't any hay which is NOT a good idea. But our space got so muddy that it hurt Lily's shoulder so now she's hanging out with Cody and the new ex-stallion who thinks he's all that.

Yeah. I remember when I had that feeling. Sorta.

Anyway, for Christmas Mom got us the tooth fairy. It was good too because she says I'm sensitive. I had lost some of my hip and mom was going on and on about the bit thing, and so she took a look see.

Now, I don't think I'm sensitive. It's more like perceptive. In a big tough horse kind of way. Like a scout.

I got the whole nine yards. Tooth, some chiro, and a little bit of work below the cinch, if you know what I mean.

I'm a very good patient. I know when to chew on the sticks and when to let go.

You know, the tooth fairy, Miss Loren, she's tougher than she looks.

She fixed Lily too, but she just needed her hips and shoulder done. But I like getting the works for the holidays. When we went for a ride today, I didn't mind the bit at all! We even rode bareback and dragged Lily around.

Nothing against Santa, but I'll take the tooth fairy any day. Marey Christmas and a Gelding New Year!

Mr. Smokey and the Christmas Parade Part Two

2011-12-13T18:00:00.000-06:00

Hey there, it's Smokey here. I thought I'd give you a horse perspective on this whole "parade" thing.

I had just gotten that perfect layer of mud on when Mom showed up. She got us all in for breakfast and there was a little ruckus because some of us accidently got in the same stall with Cibolo and he was all "Hey! Get out of here!"

Touchy. I was only going to take one bite and he drops a ton anyway. Fine. I had my own grain, thank you very much Mr. Alpha Male.

I figured something was up because all kinds of people started to show up and grab brushes.

Take if from me. If you have more than one person show up with brushes early in the morning it can only mean one thing. Parade.

I decided I better chow down because these parade things take a lot out of a guy. Before I knew it Mom was at it with the mane decorating. If there was any doubt before that was the final sign. Ribbons = parades.

Course all my stuff was pretty low key. Nice red blanket, a couple of ribbon in the mane that I figured I'd shake off at the first opportunity. Mom gave up on things on my head when I sent stuff airborne last year.

But you should have seen Cloud. The boy looked like a MARE! HA! He had shiny stuff, bells, and ANTLERS!

Cody got a long sparkely rope in his tail, and the new mare, Missy, she was low key too. Red, from the ranch next door, he had some big white and red thing on under his saddle. Smaller herd than last year, which was fine with me since I prefer a small herd. Less geldings to work through to make an impression on the mares, ya know.

We loaded up and the horse pullers took us around and around.

Now I don't like to speak ill of my herd mates, usually. But OMG!

First of all, Cloud was REALLY getting on all our nerves. I even had to try to bite him twice because he was a total spaz. I was like "Chill dude." and he was like "What's that!? Ahhh!!" and I was like "Where? What?" and then it was some little kid or a car and after a while I just had to roll my eyes, you know?

We walked up the street, and there were some people with those rolly horses that always creep me out. They stopped at stared at us and we weren't sure if we should stomp them and put them out of their misery, but Cody walked right by them. Cloud went by them side ways in what Mom calls "giraffe mode" which is when your head is way high so you can see them coming.

Then we got to a spot and we were supposed to stop but there was this giant grey thing and a bunch of little mini car things, and people with squashed looking hats and I didn't like it. Mom kind of figured that and hopped off to walk me over to a couple things.

I felt a little better. We did a lot of visiting, cuz in parades you have to STAND a lot even if you are a MORGAN and everyone knows it's in our breeding to be "forward" which means we don't like standing around waiting for parades to start. I got to meet all the people on the colorful trailer with the little barker. I gave the whole thing a good going over. You know they have no decent hay on those things? No wonder they all sit on it.

Mom walked me around for a while, which was good becaue there were these loud birds that kept flying over and at one point I started to wonder if they were more dangerous than the birds at the barn. They were very growly and Mom and I did the circle on the rope thing, you know, just to shake it off.

Mom also had me to some tricks for a little kid that was there and he was very impressed. I even backed, trotted, and did my fancy hip moves. Impressive stuff people like to see at a parade. We were still waiting for our turn and I was doing pretty good. I even did a shout out to some tied up horses that were pulling their own trailer, which I never have seen before. They were pretty focused, cus they didn't shout back at any of us, even though we were all "Hey! Happy Holidays Guys! What Up?!"

But it's probably a lot of work hauling one of those wagon things, so I didn't hold it against them. Mom said - Look how good they're being Smokey and I rolled my eyes. Please. They are all trussed up. What else are they gonna do? Yesh.

Then the really bad thing happened. You know how in they get those little white flappy things and its kind of unnerving to a guy? Well there was all this major noise (Mom said it was music, but I'm more of a classic rock kind of guy) and a ton of people in squashed hats and they were waving flappy things in a huge panic! That was it, we all started to make tracks - Mom had me circle, which was good, but I really thought it would be best for us to get the heck out of there. Finally the flappy people left, and other than Cloud practically running over everyone, we all got back to business.

Okay, maybe I needed to go and chill out on the parking lot for a minute, doing some more backing up and trick stuff. Just to impress, ya know.

Then it was finally our turn. For a minute there I was wondering if Mom was going to get back on. I think she was too. But her herd all gave her the thumbs up and it's not like I was all crazy like Cloud. I did kind of walk off right away, but you know it was finally time to go, you can't blame a guy.

Mom's big guy told her to breathe and she laughed and started singing, which is good, cuz you have to breathe to sing, apparently. We followed the barky dog trailer and said happy holidays to everybody. This year I stopped when Cody and Cloud did and Mom said it was amazing.

I was like, "well, duh." She probably didn't notice each time we stopped I made sure I was a little ahead. Just sending a message, you know.

I only did two circles the whole parade, cuz I got a little ahead. Last year I did so many cirlces it was like I was in the round pen. About halfway through I kind of wished I didn't have the bit, and started to shake my head. But that's not allowed in a parade, I found out. So I would dip down a little and it was not so bad. And I got rid of two ribbons on the parade route when I shook my head, which is pretty good, probably a record. Next time I think we should go bitless and show off! Ha!

Finally we were back at the trailers and everyone loaded up, cuz it was time to go.

When we got back to the barn there was a ton of good hay for all of us parade horses. Which is as it should be, Mom said.

She says I've matured. I'm thinking she has because she finally learned how to breathe, which makes it way easier. Maybe now we can go on another adventure, cuz I have this parade thing down.

Except for the flappy people. Seriously. Hope someone helped them out.

Happy Holidays!

Mr. Smokey and the Christmas Parade Part One

2011-12-11T10:10:00.004-06:00

First, let me apologize that there are no pictures.

That's right. Zero. Zip. Nada. But when you hear the whole story, I think you'll forgive me.

It started last week when Donna was asking me if I was ready for the parade. I hemmed and hawed. With everything going on with Sierra, DH in another city, continued financial challenges (because while the job is going well, money is inconsistent, and in a new city there are new expenses, blah, blah, blah), I just didn't know if I was up to managing my issues with Smokey.

Because, frankly, I've been a big chicken and only doing things I feel comfortable doing. Because I wanted one area of my life to be drama free.

And Parades? That's a pretty big horse drama magnet.

So I committed to having our truck there and probably having Smokey there, maybe, if everything goes well. Donna suggested we take Smokey for a field trip to see how he'd do.

Then Tuesday. Tuesday, Sierra felt so dizzy and faint in class, they took her to the nurse. The nurse called and said I should take her to the ER because she had some swelling on one side of her face and was walking funny.

I rushed home from Austin, my mom met me with her at the ER and to cut to the bottom line and after the five hours of ER hanging out, they gave her a bag of fluids, something for naseau and recommended we follow up with our Doctor (they had ruled out anything cardiac, in case you were wondering - I sure as heck was).

She was worse on Wednesday. I started to ask her questions, to drill down more on the dizziness. Turns out she had vertigo. Severe vertigo. As in "can't even walk to the bathroom" severe vertigo. Thursday we went to the doctor who confirmed my home diagnosis and gave us a prescription for saline spray (and gave me a list of over the counter meds).

With no improvement on Friday, I opted for a chiropracter. There was a moment of improvement, then it was back to swaying ceilings and zero equilibrium. I began to suspect that only Doctor Time was going to cure this balance challenged girl.

So you can probably see why the parade seemed like more trouble than it was worth.

On the horse front I went on Thursday, more as a stress reliever, really, to see how Smokey would do in the area where we gather for the parade. There were many firsts. Donna took her huge MFT and his nature means he has to get in the trailer first. Smokey has never loaded last, in "Lily's" spot. I had even thought last month that I should train him to do so in case there was ever a need.

But never got around to it.

Cloud, who previously has had a huge cow about loading into my trailer, hopped right in. That horse simply must be first. I looked at Smokey and said, "Okay, Smoke, load up."

And he did.

Good thing I spent all that time on it.

We headed out to the big field and Smokey was confused about unloading. Usually Lily just steps out, but Smokey is used to being lead out. I stepped into the trailer and backed him out. He was a little up, but settled in quickly. We started our ride and he was a little tight, but in five minutes he had settled down and doing well.

"See?" He'll be fine!" Donna cooed.

I felt my smile grow. Maybe we could do this. Maybe I wasn't snake bit with all this crazy stuff going on. Maybe I just needed to breathe, hum some Christmas songs and commit.

Maybe. As I drove back home from the barn I wondered if I was up for all of this. There was so much going on. Did I really want to take a chance?

Saturday seemed a long way away.

Mighty Heart Update

2011-11-29T10:49:00.000-06:00

Is on Crib Notes.

Cold wind

2011-11-27T23:20:00.003-06:00

The welcome rain finally ushered in the cold, something we have been waiting for for several weeks. It's still been air conditioning weather here, something I've not experienced this deep into November.

But as they say, be careful what you wish for.

It was my day to feed horses on Saturday morning and the rain poured down steadily. I sloughed through the paddocks, struggled with wet hay. Lily, who eats outside in the paddock instead of coming in a run gave me that look. The don't you dare leave me out here in the rain look.

I brought her in for some relief from the weather and she and Smokey shared the run and some hay while I finished my work. When I set them all back out and got in my truck the rain slowed down

I really appreciate these little tests of my sense of humor. I don't always pass them, but I do appreciate the considerable planning that goes into them.

Sunday brought wind, the kind of wind that sets the trees to wild dancing, leaves twirling as they fly off like sweat from a tango dancer's forehead.

I arrived early to ride before feeding again, and Smokey and I agreed that the bitter wind called for arena time. I demonstrated all the scary things he needed to know about like the banging door and falling chair. He was greatly concerned but managed to hold it together. I'd call it progress, but mostly it was nice to see him giving me the benefit of the doubt.

We kept it short - remember, we don't really have the gear for this kind of weather, so bitter cold dives right through my paltry defenses. I hate cold. I don't live in Texas because I have an affection for cold, but the cold comes anyway. And if Smokey's massive winter coat is any indication, it's going to be brutal season around here.

We managed to improve his side pass, we will see if it sticks. Also he is responding better to canter cues. Lots more to do, particularly on canters, but I'm taking time. Maybe to much, but really, what am I getting ready for?

I'm not sure we will do the christmas parade, mostly because with sierra's situation I don't know that I have it in me to do the prep needed. I think he might do fine, but at this point worry about horse antics is way down my list of things I'm willing to deal with.

So another excuse to take my time. But I really don't have goals right now, other than enjoying my horses. With them it's quiet, simple, focused, and in the moment. It's the greatest gift I can have right now, when challenges just seem to mount over and over. In time they will all resolve, as they do,and the respites will give me strength.

Even in the rain and cold.

Don't put that hoof in a bucket and other adventures

2011-11-20T19:18:00.007-06:00

Smokey and I have had some nice rides. I admit to doing more training than envelope pushing. We've been working on clearing up all the fuzzy areas and hitting the local trails with my friends.

I also did some research on YouTube and determined that I don't have shoulder control - in that I can't do a turn on the haunches. So we're working on that and the side pass. As Stephanie noted Smokey will cross his front legs, then his back legs, then his front legs, maybe twice, then catches up with a hind quarter move.

It's a mess, and gives us a series of things to clean up. What I'd really like to do is send Smokey to a trainer for finishing since I'm sure it'd would be easier on everyone. But given my budget, we'll have to muddle through.

Thank goodness for YouTube. We might actually accomplish something.

Sierra and I went riding on Friday. I'd pulled her out of school for the day due to some school drama (ironic, given the news we'd get later in the day). She rode Cody since Lily is still on injured reserve.

Here's Smokey in the bosal. It moves around a good bit, which is not what it's supposed to do. I'm not sure if I'll continue using this one. Today I begged, pleaded, and just annoyed Stephanie into riding. Cibolo had a bucking incident and she wasn't sure she wanted to ride at all. But he got a visit from the horse dentist (who also did a shoulder adjustment) and it seemed to do the trick - his attitude improved and he was as calm as could be on the trail.

Smokey and I had warmed up in the arena - I wish I had a longer place to run him in. We really need to haul some place. Hopefully soon.

Anyway, I rode him in a riding halter and he did pretty well, although it took more energy from me to keep him in the proper place. I'd ridden him the day before in the bit and I'm convinced he doesn't like it. I'm going to try a few different things - all of which are there in the barn. The mechanical hackmore is not an option in my mind. The bosal is close, but it doesn't fit right and I haven't a clue how to properly shape it. Plus it feels more muddy than the side pull. I'm going to try a couple of barn bits to see if a different shape will matter, and then order a nutural.

We also worked on our mole face. Cute, right?

(No horses were spooked during the above photo session. Good boy, Smokey)

-------------------------

Lily Update, aka Don't put that hoof in a bucket ever again....

Lily is much, much better, but when the horse dentist checked her over she found warmth in her right front hoof. She mentioned that often with Pigeon Fever a horse will founder.

She showed me how to feel for heat, something I've never felt before. It was so mild I would have missed it. She recommended soaking the hoof, just in a frisbee or something like that.

Of course we don't have any frisbees, but we have buckets.

Do I even need to finish this story?

Okay, only because you INSIST.

There we were at the wash rack. I was cold hosing her now healing abscess wound in prep for cleaning it off. I lifted her hoof and put it in the bucket. She attempted to remove her foot from the bucket.

It was one of those big buckets. She succeeded in dragging it.

Not good.

Lily commenced to panic. She pulled back so hard she snapped her halter and bent the heck out of the carabiner. She nearly sat on her tail but managed to avoid running over me or Stephanie.

She got her foot out of the bucket. This was only somewhat comforting as it was clear this was a DANGEROUS PLACE TO PUT YOUR HOOVES.

After some reassurance we were able to get her back in position, sans bucket, and finish cleaning out her wound.

Then I went to her paddock, splashed water out of the trough to make a nice muddy spot in front of her hay (which the horse dentist suggested as a Plan B to the frisbee).

The nice thing? She trusted me enough to come down from her panic and stay in the same area.

And I now have learned the value of a good Plan B.

No buckets were broken during this life lesson, which is good, because I think it was one of the bucket the BO won at her last endurance race.

-----------

Mighty Hearts.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. The news is still settling inside me like a little boat approaching a storm. The swells rise and fall, nothing completely scary yet, with every rise you can see the clouds a bit more, the froth on the sea ahead.

I'm still hoping for a nice steady wind to redirect the storm so we can head to shore safely. I still imagine us steering clear, then sitting around the tree this holiday season, relieved that we have dodged another bullet.

I've decided to begin posting news on Sierra on Crib Notes (with a note here when I do), but not for the reasons you might think. As I was driving back from the barn today I realized that many of our family members will be keeping up with things and I find it's very tough/painful to restate these explanations over and over. Facebook isn't really an option because Sierra is on it more than I am, and I don't want her constantly confronted with updates.

Anyway, given that my family has little interest in my horse life (hard to believe I'm the ONLY horse nerd. So much for DNA), and since they might want to subscribe, I think this approach will work a little better for them, but by noting on here when there's an update I can keep you in the loop too...

I'll be starting each related post here with "Mighty Hearts" and will probably link over there from the Mighty Heart page, just FYI.

Here's to quiet seas, quiet horses, and quiet rides, my friends.

News - your prayers, if you've got them...

2011-11-19T06:34:00.002-06:00

I've added a new page on the top. It's called Mighty Heart. There's some news there that will be a big focus for us for the next month and, possibly, much longer

I'm trying to decide where to post updates on this to folks who will want to know what's happening since I do try to keep this "horsecentric."

Do I post them on Crib Notes or forget that I'm working a theme here?

Your thoughts on the matter are welcome, my friends.

Community - a gathering and Lily Update

2011-11-14T18:00:00.001-06:00

I was telling my DH about Carmon, a woman I've never met. I was talking to my friend, KC about how I feel I missed an opportunity to meet her, but she was too ill when I was last in New Mexico. Soon, we wrote to one another. I'd be back in New Mexico. It wasn't my fault or hers that we didn't meet.

We met as we could, here in these little thin lines, in the glow of a screen. (update. I just learned Carmon moved on last Friday. )

....

It's funny how close I *think* I am to everyone in this little space of pixels and white. How vested, intertwined, I feel about everyone who reaches back when I reach out (I know others just come by to merely read, and that's fine). Yet I realize that we all have a glimpse of each other, and that these connections feel sadly lacking when a member of this group is hurting, or down.

Two years ago I had a wonderful opportunity to widen my circle of "bloggers I've met."

Carmon reminds me that I should find more ways to do that. So I'm going to give it some thought. Maybe a ride in the spring, somewhere in Texas for the folks here. Maybe just an extra day in a journey to the east coast to manage a lunch with someone. Sometimes words, even heartfelt ones, seem too thin to hang a friendship on.

Or maybe it's just natural to yearn for a bit more.

But let it start with just this, this one opening. If you find your way to Austin or San Antonio, drop me a line. Lunch is on me.

------------

It looks like Dr. Google was right. The tests on Lily came back positive for the bacteria with a name longer than I care to remember - bottom line we've got Pigeon Fever, midline edema edition.

Her swelling is down and she's in her very own paddock well away from the herd. I don't know that it'll do much good since she was oozing all over for a day, but luckily this condition is merely disgusting. She has a HUGE hole in her belly from where the abscess was, and we've rinsed it out once. She has to stay apart from her herd mates until it closes up shop in a week or two.

I miss my sweet Lily ride, but it's nice to have only one horse to work with. Hopefully Smokey and I can get some good work in over the next few weeks. I'm working on head dropping and getting that side pass cleaned up. Maybe we'll do some trails this week. The weather is beautiful, a little drizzle, on the warm side. Perfect riding weather. Hopefully we'll get some of that done soon.

Hope all is well with you!

Bits, Hackmores, and Community - and Lily Concerns

2011-11-09T15:21:00.005-06:00

When I poised my dumb question I have to say, I was hesitant. In this little horse internet community/mutual admiration society we have self described dressage queens, competitive barrel racers, endurance racers who go on 50 milers every other weekend, professional trainers who have started more horse than I've ever even looked at, weekend riders, hardcore cowboys and trail pros - and then there's me.

No one likes to look like they don't have a clue. But when you don't have a clue, you just have to own up and learn somethin'.

Thanks to EVERYONE who gave me so much to chew on. You are amazing and I so appreciate the dialog.

First given that Smokester has bolted on me with a simple snaffle and that I didn't really slow him down with it, I'm not sure I have any better brakes with a bit. I think I just have to keep working to find the right touch with him to bring him down more readily rather than rely on a bit. He has stopped relatively quickly - when I was better at seeing it coming. I get the feeling me sawing on his mouth is not particularly effective and may exacerbate the situation, actually. Maybe its about his teeth right now, but as one person said when she saw pictures of him before I bought him, it seems like he's trying to evade the bit. Maybe he's just a bit hater.

I get that I may not be ready or skilled enough, so I need to address that. As for not knowing about shoulder control, to be clear, I don't know what the phrase means. I can (and have trained him on) how to move his front end, disengage his hindquarters and get him to float over to open a gate. He backs softly, and is getting better with his side pass. So I may be no trainer, and the more I learn the less I know, but I think I might manage to learn how to do this right.

I've decided to take a few lessons in correct use of a bosal and to size the one I have to fit Smokey since this does seem to be his preference at this stage, based on how readily he's responding. I am keeping in mind the concerns on bolting and bucking. If the person I'm asking to help tells me I suck (trust me, this person will if I do), then I'll try a different bitless option. If I've learned anything from everyone it's LISTEN TO THE HORSE.

Thank you for guiding me on my journey. I'm sure both Smokey and Lily are even more grateful. :)

---------------------------

Now for Miss Lily.

On Sunday Lily I took Lily out for a ride in the arena. Mireya had decided she was up for a ride and the day before I'd taken Smokey out to be my ride. Although Lily is not fond of Cody, I decided to ride her anyway.

When saddling she gave me an uncharacteristic (or rather, a used-to-be-characteristic-but-we're-past-that-now) evil look when cinching. I checked her over, but everything looked fine. In the arena, though, she acted up when we cantered, almost bucking. I worked through it with her, but was perplexed. She was warmed up. She had no issue at the trot. We didn't work much, maybe two circles in each direction and called it a day. When I took her to the wash rack I saw the absolute weirdest thing EVER.

(See above: LISTEN TO THE HORSE)

On her belly it looked like she had two swollen water hoses along each line of her midline. It looked like this horse:

only the swelling was not nearly as dramatic. It was slightly warm, but not bad. I asked the barn owner and she theorized she'd just gotten some edema from scratching her belly on something. I cold hosed it and Lily seemed relieved. She was eating and otherwise normal so I figured I'd give it a day.

The barn owner reported on Monday it was oozing something, so she cleaned it with some benandine.

I got back out on Tuesday night and it looked like this.

And she had one matching on the other side. Not good.

This is edema of the midline, in case you ever need to consult Dr. Google. I was flipping out. It was bigger. It was oozing something awful. Since Lily didn't seem to be in serious pain and was still eating, I figured it could wait until the morning.

I called in and told work I'd be taking a day off, called the vet and searched the internet all night. The only thing I could find that seemed to fit was the photo you saw above and a reference to Pigeon Fever, Dryland Distemper or Colorado Strangles (all the same disease).

You may know that Val at Fantastyk Voyage is going through this right now with her herd. I poured over her photos. Usually pigeon fever creates an edema on the chest, hence the name. Makes a horse look like it's got a pigeon breast. That's how Val's horses are presenting.

Maybe it was just a scratch. When I went by in the morning this is how it looked:

This one is badly lit, but do you see that little circle in the middle? That's where the ooze was, remarkably similar to the ooze on Val's photos.

Gooey bloody icky. Pick your word, they all work.

The vet saw us at 10 am and to make a long story slightly longer, thought it was a bite of something. Until he shaved it and found an abscess. And an infection. And an elevated white count. The aforementioned icky gooey bloody with the addition of pus like stuff is off for culturing.

According to the vet, there's been an outbreak of pigeon fever in Texas (he's never seen a case with a belly edema before, but after I mentioned Dr. Google he looked it up and found that photo). Apparently the bacteria that causes it tends to show up in drought conditions. Maybe Dryland Distemper is the better name.

Which I don't get because it's been raining a little and surely that counts for something.

The good news is my horse doesn't have some huge hernia exploding under her belly which was the nightmare that circled my brain for an hours, looking for a nice landing spot. This is treatable and chances are she will likely be immune in the future.

The bad news is its very contagious. I'm going to buy a nice big bottle of bleach and rinse out all my grooming tools, set aside a set for her during this time, then replace them. Hopefully if it is pigeon fever she'll be the one and only case of it.

On a side note: I learned Lily does not like to load as the only horse in a trailer on a windy day. We'll be working on that during her recovery time since that was a WHOLE bunch of fun today.

No words

2011-11-07T07:54:00.000-06:00

Difficult news: http://black-horse-design.blogspot.com/

I have a stupid question

2011-11-04T22:57:00.003-05:00

It's a stupid question, but it's serious.

Why do we use a bit when we ride a horse?

I don't mean this in a "I am a bitless convert and don't think we should put bits in horses' mouths" kind of way.

I mean I don't understand what the idea is.

Very early in my re-entry to horses I gave up the idea that bits = brakes. I had enough rodeo moments on a horse with a big ol' bit that managed to run right through it.

So I've simplified my approach to bits, opting for the ones that seemed the most mild. Then I read this post by mugwump and I thought I'd try a bosal since Smokey was the age of the horse she described. I don't have "shoulder control" - or rather I have no idea what that is. But I know the bit was bugging him.

And right now I riding both my horses without a bit. My young one and my old one. Both are riding better, dropping their heads with the slightest pressure, responding well to cues. The merest touch on the reins works, I don't need leverage. Smokey responds just to the tilt of the bosal. Lily neck reins and stops with my seat and, if needed, a slight pull.

And it got me to wondering what a bit is even for. What's the idea? Where does a bit fit in training? Why do we move out of a hackmore or bosal? Do you have to be working on things beyond my ability? What if you are only trail and hacking around - not jumping or trying to do dressage? Do you need a bit? Cuz both my horses are doing better this way, so I keep thinking I must be missing something. Or that there will "be a reckoning" or something. (They both will take a bit and ride in it, my hands are pretty quiet I've been told)

Seriously, I'm not asking this as a philosophical question, I just thought this was the best place to ask (I've asked others I know and they just shrugged.). Anything wrong with staying in a riding halter (like above) or a bosal?

Riding pants that ROCK

2011-10-27T22:03:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the long delay, I've been busy with work (it's actually kind of exciting, many people are moving their financial lives over to credit unions and that means I'm one busy chick).

Any way, I've had to let my real life take a chill pill while I handled the work load.

(I recently realized that my work life wasn't my REAL life, although I enjoy it. My REAL life is family and horses. LOL)

As a result I've only ridden in these terrific pants once. But they are AMAZING. They are Irideons, just like my other riding pants, but I wanted to get a summer weight tights (I know, it's about to get cold, but with a birthday in October, that's just how these things go).

First I looked at every tight on the market, and picked these because they were boot cut, a brand I like, and have the knee patches and came in denim color. Having always ridden in jeans or my riding pant I wasn't sure if I was going to like the whole "tights" thing.

Color me converted.

First I got the absolute best email notification I've ever gotten that my order was on the way:

Today your order was lovingly removed from our shelves by Julie, our Product Specialist, and placed into our velvet-lined wheelbarrow.

Our 5-member equine team, headed by Royale Rouge, inspected your items to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Stephanie, our Ordering Specialist, rang a bell and a hush fell over the barn as Boni, our Shipping Specialist, placed your items into the finest corrugated box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterward and our entire team waved goodbye to your package, on its way to you in our private A.R.T. jet.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping with us at Action Rider Tack. We certainly did. We wish we had a picture of you and your horse to hang on our wall as “Customer of the Week” and to add to our website photo gallery. We’re all exhausted but can’t wait for you to come back to ACTION RIDER TACK.

Happy Trails!

Candy Kahn BE ONE WITH YOUR HORSE!™

www.ActionRiderTack.com

I totally felt ridiculously special. (no, i did not send them a picture of me and smokey and lily, though I was tempted.)

Then I rode in them. No more hitching up my jeans to lift the leg in the stirrup. No more seam rubbing (which my riding pants are good about, but not my jeans). No more sliding in the saddle.

I felt a little silly in the store, but since they are a quiet blue, they're just like jeggins but better.

Yup. Love 'em. Planning on another pair for Christmas. :)

I have the best horse in world

2011-10-23T22:26:00.002-05:00

Actually, unfairly I have TWO!

I know, I know. YOU have the best horse in the world.

But let me tell you about my best horses.

Today I rode my five year old boy, who came up to the gate, practically wagging his tail. Seriously the flies were that bad. But he came up.

I've been doing this lately. I greet my horses, and if I don't have a specific plan, I ride the horse who walks up to me. A slight variation on riding the horse that shows up.

Smokey rode for the first time in a bosal. I have been riding him in a riding halter, but can't get his head down very easily, i get the feeling the signal isnt clear. I had read on mugs that horses teeth change a good bit betwwen 4 and 6, and that she rode horses that age in a hack more. I had a sense his mouth just wasnt as comfortable with the bit.

The bosal was perfect, a slight pressure on the reins and his head dropped. And he worked off my seat and legs in a way that felt seamless.

We rode with Stephanie and Cibolo, Janice and Lucy, Kimber and Cody (it was my birthday trail ride). We lead most of the time and he was so willing and easy going that I had that feeling bubble up like soda fizz.

Joy.

I even went down a steep hill which has been nerve wracking for me lately. We both went down like it was no big deal. Which it isn't, of course.

That's the crux of it, isn't it. Since it was no big deal to me, he was fine. There were still moments when I had to work to convince him a bit, but they were tiny battles. Teeny tiny. Just enough to remind me he is young, generally trust worthy, but still young

This is one of the by products of joy, I think. It all feels so different.

Then there's the other best horse in the world. But I'll have to tell you about the remarkable Miss Lily next time. Plus I have a vendor/product endorsement.

I'm going to sleep to dream about riding.

Joy!

2011-10-15T10:45:00.006-05:00

I have no idea where this is from, or who the child is, but it makes me beam.

Now for something off topic.

During our very difficult time (of which elements continue, of course), everything felt like it was on fire, burning all around me, burning to the ground. Everywhere I turned things that I had worked for over decades turned to ashes at our feet.

At one point, when I was walking through the house late at night I felt there was only one thing left I had control over.

Me.

I could wait for happiness to come on the heels of some change in fortune or I could try to grow it in this rubble. I worked on finding positive things, even if they were extremely slight. I downloaded the "optimist's creed" and taped it to my mirror.

But every day the creed was there on my mirror. I'd take one line and try to live it during the day. I found it was harder than I thought to keep to it, and I failed often. Yet it was still there on the mirror the next morning.

After about 3 months I started to feel different. It wasn't always easier, but deeper. It didn't feel as forced, thnking and being positive came much easier.

Then in small ways our lives turned around. Very small things at first, the equivalent of finding a few extra dollars in life's sofa cushion. Happiness showed up unexpected around corners. And then the big change when DH landed work.

What I realize is that the job, while a blessing, is not our source of happiness. No question that it relieves the pressure, but the happiness arrived before the job.

The next step on the journey slowly bloomed. I recently decided that it is my role in life (well one of them) to spread joy. Sure I have a humor column and that's a start. But I've been (obnoxiously at times) working on finding ways to bring joy to people. Making the guy on the phone at the pharmacy laugh. sending thank you notes. Calling colleagues to check on their family. You know, daily nice things, hoping it'll be a brighter point in someone's day.

Not changing the world, not yet. But working from the inside out.

I've taken this approach with my horses too. I've presumed that they too could use some joy. It's not about cookies, it's mostly taking time, trusting my instincts, and becoming more quiet, gentle and consistent.

The change there has been gradual too. Only recently have I been able to even become aware of the shift. I don't have a name for it, but I know one thing.

It sure is more fun.

Smokey's Hat Trick

2011-10-14T18:57:00.003-05:00

So you might know I'm big on clicker training. It's helped me bridge things with my horses like the noise of a plastic bottle, taking a bit, lifting hooves. It's not a cure all and things still require maintenance, but it's made a big difference.

Plus having trained dogs, I get the idea of this, so there wasn't near the learning curve.

Anyway, Smokey is very, very lippy. I figured given all the things he wants to grab, it might be useful to put this to use and teach him to pick up a hat from the ground. This video is step #2 in that process. Step 1 was getting him to touch it with our command "target". Step 2 is to hold it in his teeth with the command "grab."

I don't even want to think about step 3 yet.

(we did this today and he actually did really well, but more on that later.)

Lovely? Me?

2011-10-12T22:38:00.002-05:00

Grey Horse Matters (of whom I'm a HUGE fan) passed on the Lovely Blog award and I'm so honored.

Thing is when I stripped down my blog back when I was laying low I lost my spot for awards. (Frankly I can't even remember how to post these things, so there's THAT too! LOL)

I promise to get it up here along with the requisite blog recommendations and odd factoids about me as soon as I can punch an hour into my schedule to get my act together.

Video of Smokey working on his latest "trick" coming soon as well!

Ponying part two.

2011-10-11T21:50:00.002-05:00

Hi there, it's me, Smokey.

There has been quite a bit of goings on.

Bit. Get it? Hehe.

Anyway, after all the fun at the place with all the sweaty horses, Mom said it was time for me to practice getting dragged around like a baby horse.

I thought it sounded kind of dumb. In fact in the orange sandy circle I tried to show Mom how to do it. We all walk. Now we stop. Now we walk. Then she and Lily started trotting and I said "No ma'am, you two slow down! Someone could get hurt!"

I worry about these two some times. Yesh.

I had to use all my massive muscles in my neck to get them back to the proper gait.

Silly mares.

But then I kind of got in the mood to trot. To the right, cuz that's my favorite side. Everything is way nicer on the right. Really no reason to trot going to the left. But you know Mom. She *insisted.*

Finally we got out of the sandy orange pen and walked on the road. It was all fine except apparently I'm not allowed to bite Lily on the butt.

It's not like I was going to do it hard or anything. Lily is SO sensitive. She actually pinned her ears at me! Twice! Did she get in trouble? No, not Miss Western Pleasure trained, grand baby of some doc at a bar or some such.

Then I couldn't rub my itchy nose on the saddle pad.

Mares.

The next day we went all over like that again, but way further, with me being dragged all around. It's okay, I guess, and Mom says I got the idea. Then I got to be the lead horse and I was all "Woo hoo! I'm in charge! Let's go here! I'm rubbing against that cedar! Woo hoo...errr..."

Suddenly I was going in one of those itty bitty circles while Lily followed with an irritated look on her face. Sorta a reminder that Mom's in charge.

You know, *technically*.

It was fun, but not as fun as the Cookie time. But Mom got some movie of it paaqor something and she said she'll get to that.

Back to my hay, ya'll stay outta fences!

Storm Ranch Endurance Ride - one woman's perspective

2011-10-06T18:23:00.004-05:00

As you may have surmised from Smokey's post, he was not my ride at the endurance race. He was just at the ride to gain experience traveling to such events. I didn't intend to ride him there, although I thought I might be able to around camp. I hand walked him around and was quickly convinced that riding him around this first time wasn't an option. He needs more travel time. And I need more experience getting him to stay focused.

I apologize for the photos, they are all out of my iphone. One of these days I'm going to get back to taking real photos!

Happy, happy horse.

We three - me, Smokey, and Lily - arrived on Saturday. Most of the 25 mile competitors were out, but due back soon. The 50s wouldn't be back for hours. Both horses loaded so well, I was taken aback. In fact, Lily right from the start seemed to be happy to be going somewhere. She self loaded and moved to the side for the door to close behind her.

I tied them to the trailer, Lily perky but constrained, Smokey a bit up, but not too bad considering. The BO's new trailer, the Taj Mah Haul, was in place. I'd be bunking there.

Jake (who had been at our barn for conditioning),
did great at his race, coming in 11th.
The Taj is in the background.

One rider, J, was going to leave, but asked if I'd like to take a quick trail ride. Fortunately there was plenty opportunity to pleasure ride at this endurance ride, something I never thought of. I always thought that at a ride like this the most you could do is ride in the endurance rides or just hack around camp. I set up horsekeeping quickly and saddled Lily.

The BO returned - she got 3rd the
first day, 2nd the next.
She's always in the top ten in these events.

Since Lily has had so many soundness issues, I was hesitant to go far on her. J assured me we could turn back at any point if I grew concerned.

Lily headed out to the trailhead with ears forward, only one hesitation around the busy area where the endurance riders come in for the vet check. We hit the trail at a walk, but soon we were trotting.

Oh boy, I thought. This is really going to be a problem. We didn't trot much that first ride out, but that's usually where things get hard on Lily. Just a short bit of trotting used to set her head bobbing. She has improved, only occasional signs of a problem, generally gone once she warms up, but I still worry.People would remark that I was riding her
only in her riding halter, which is a modified
side pull. I never once thought of putting a
bit on her. There is no reason.

Most remarkably, she stayed sound - after 5 miles the first day and 7 miles where we trotted nearly 75% of the time!

It was such a nice set of rides that I wondered why I even had a horse like Smokey. No, no, I'm not letting my silly gelding go, but the carefree ride on Lily who I trust explicitly, was just fantastic.

Lily, of course, is 17. I've successfully brought her back to her best self. She has had a great deal of training and hauling. Smokey can be that kind of horse, but not right now, and not unless I give him chances to go to places, dance on the end of a line and teach him what I can. And to let Lily show him a thing or two.

So this week I gave Smokey his second ponying lesson. But I'll let him tell you about that - next time.

Storm Ranch Endurance Ride - One horse's perspective.

2011-10-02T19:01:00.004-05:00

Hi. It's me, Smokey.

Guess what? I convinced Mom to let me have this post all to myself! So no interruptions from you know who!

This weekend we went on a trip. First I got in my moving stall and got a cookie. Then Lily got in and got a cookie. Then we rode - ZOOM! I like the moving stall now, except when it stops. It stopped for a LONG time.

We had to stop at mom's home barn for a while. There were no cookies. So I kept pushing my special spot on the mat. I push and stomp on that spot and usually, before you know it, ZOOOM!

Lily said to quit it. She made a mad face at me. But I didn't care since she can't bite me from between the divider thing. So I stomp stomp stomp. Makes the time go faster. Seriously. Try it sometime.

FINALLY we were ZOOM again. We went down a bunch of twisty roads, one bumpy road and then we were at a new place with a whole bunch of other moving stalls and pullers, and other horses.

LOTS of other horses, mostly skinny ones, with the roundy middles. I kept it cool, though.

I might of shouted once, you know, just to say hey to everybody.

Once or twice.

Then Lily and I got our very own paddock with the biting white snakes. I hate those things. But there was lots of hay and water.

Some of the horses around us were all sweaty and looking tired. Maybe they had to run here instead of coming in a moving stall.

Then mom took me on a walk around. I didn't like it. No sir. Besides I had to leave Lily. And she was probably scared.

I shouted at her, just to let her know I was okay. Just a couple times.

Mom said there is no way I'm riding your silly nonsense.

Then I went back to the paddock and that was good. Then mom took Lily! She said "don't worry you have Tuffy to keep you company."

This is Tuffy. See? Like THIS GUY is supposed to make me feel better? Please. He doesn't even have a mane.

I tried to point out that I probably could just follow along, that they needed protection. I showed my big horse moves. Snaking neck. Couple bucks. Impressive stuff.

They left.

Crazy. I hollered at Lily for a while, just to let her know she'd be okay.

Then all I could do was wait.

Mom said she'd tell you about the next part. But she's all tired and stuff, so it might be a day or two.

Cantering on a trail

2011-10-01T18:23:00.003-05:00

Friday was huge.

I had taken the day off, but my energy and spirit was low. That weird malaise that creeps up on women of a ... certain age. Or maybe I hadn't had enough horse time in recent weeks while we adjust to DH's new schedule.

I went out to the barn not even sure if I was going to do much more than round pen and back trails.

But when I drove up I saw Stephanie was there. I tried not to get my hopes up. Stephanie works the night shift at an emergency vet clinic, and often isn't up to riding when I get there, understandably.

So when she said she was up for it, my malaise disappeared. We went on two great trail rides - one with Lily and then one with Smokey. She was on Cibolo.

And. I. Cantered. Both horses. On the trail. And she cantered on Cibolo, who was as quiet as I have ever seen him.

Lily and I cantered up a hill. Smokey we took to the dead end road (since I don't trust his brakes) and cantered there 3 times. It was an amazing mid morning ride, a gift of confidence.

And, as I'm writing this, we are camping at the endurance ride. I'm not riding the ride, but having horse adventures...which I will write up when we get home tomorrow...

Nursery rhyme time

2011-09-27T13:49:00.003-05:00

I took my horses to the vet,
Their coggins I was there to get.

Two horses load in without a fit,
My carrot stick not needed a bit.

We drive, we drive, we drive some more,
I hold my purse close and pass the tack store.

Then we stop in the gravel drive,
Two horses have made it here alive.

I open the door and one steps out,
Quiet and calm, without a doubt.

The other horse nods and does the same,
You'd think the pair was completely sane.

Two quick pokes, they didn't blink an eye
Then one and two load without a sigh.

Back at home both step quietly out,
Leaving me little doubt.

Days this drama free are sweet and dear,
And worthy of posting here.

-Fin-

Outside My Comfort Zone Part 2

2011-09-25T21:51:00.003-05:00

Smokey was also in a quiet space, but I found him sticky at the canter in the round pen. Really sticky. As in "I'm not going to canter, so there."

We descended into a brief argument until I realized it was headed in the wrong direction. Raising my "voice" to Smokey doesn't work. For example, I tried snapping my rein ends on him to push him into the canter. You would have thought I attempted to brand him. He became frazzled and pissy, in a sense matching my irritation, I suppose.

I haven't quite found the right line to push my point with him. There's a firmness that has to settle in place, and then he'll listen. But I can't quite hit it consistently.

We were arguing and I said "No battles today, Smokey. Let's just get this done." I brought my energy down, shifted my mind. We settled back down to a walk trot transition until it was smooth again, then I cued for the canter. And he cantered.

So why couldn't we do that from the start? I have no clue, that's what I mean by missing it somehow. Maybe he needed time, but seriously, at this point, he needs to be less... diva.

We hit the local trails, and I was inspired to do a little of the things I saw on "America's Favorite Trail Horse." I found a few obstacles including a new log. At first Smokey shied at it a bit, but after some repetition we were going over it at the trot with no hesitation. It wasn't a jump, but as close as I'm ready to attempt (given I don't know anything about jumping other that what I see on TV).

Then I took him down the route I took Lily earlier. Smokey wasn't as hesitant - he's a little better about going out on his own. THE HOUSE was still a hurdle, but not nearly as bad as with Lily. He was a little high headed, but we got through it pretty well. We even had two cars pass us and ran into Stephanie coming back from her crazy graveyard shift at the emergency vet clinic.

We were on our way back when something by THE HOUSE caught his eye. I could feel his energy rise. I gathered the reins and started to have him dosome work when whatever caught his eye really moved - and so did he. He spun and headed back the way we came. But this time, this time I was ready. I had already gathered the reins. I steered him back around, stopping him under two trees.

I had controlled the bolt and stopped him! I urged him over to the spot he had turned, but he was blowing. I dismounted and walked him through the area over and over, he followed me readily on a loose rein. On the fifth time I lead him back to the place where it all started and got back on.

And I rode him past THE HOUSE. Calmly, with a smile.

We had a good walk back to the barn, meeting up with Stephanie who had gone over to say hi to Cibolo. She brought an apple, but Smokey doesn't like them for some reason. (He will *sometimes* eat a carrot. But cattle calling cubes are his real addiction.)

This time I felt like I didn't let Smokey down. I rode through the situation, was ready, responded appropriately, didn't let fear own me. Had he bolted to the barn I'm not sure I could have stopped him, but really who knows... Maybe I would have. Afterall he could have kept going, period. In the end I think this experience gave us both something we really needed.

Faith in one another.

Outside my Comfort Zone Part 1

2011-09-25T09:56:00.007-05:00

On Saturday I pushed my comfort zone. Usually on my first ride of the weekend I keep it pretty quiet and safe. Round pen, arena, local trails.

But I decided to start with Lily and she was so quiet and calm I thought it would be a good day to get her past THE HOUSE. The house is close to the road, with thick trees across the street. It's got many odd shapes and things around it, and at one point there were chickens that would squawk.

Clearly many horses are eaten right in that spot. You can tell by all the horse hoof marks spinning.

We did start with a warm up. In the round pen Lily was rushing at the canter, but we rode through to quieter transitions. Something about that experience made me realize my confidence has actually risen despite my lake adventure. Maybe because of the way Smokey and I ended our adventure; a trainer told me (was it Rashid? I don't remember) how you end your time with your horse has the same effect on the horse as how you feel when you end a date. If the last five minutes are great, that's what you retain about the guy..

Lily and I hit the familiar trails and then made our way to THE HOUSE. I'd ridden by it with Lily when I was with BO and one of her training horses, and had just a slight hesitation. But now we were alone. Lily was solid in our regular trail, but now we were outside her comfort zone. Riding alone, riding far from the herd.

She balked by backing up. I turned her and encouraged her forward. We did these little spirals for a while - walking forward, stopping, backing up, turning, walking forward, stopping, backing up, turning, walking forward. But soon we were past the most concerning area, and made our way further down the road. I stopped at the point I felt was two steps beyond her edge and we stood there for a bit. She was anxious, but listened.

We turned back to the barn, with only one spot where she attempted to break into a trot, but quickly responded to my cue.

All of this was bitless, in her riding halter, the one I used with Canyon way back when (the company I ordered it from went out of business, but I found them here on line and plan on ordering one for Christmas).

I was so proud of Lily, she's never liked riding solo and now is doing so well I am thrilled.

Next up, Smokey. Which was pretty good, except for the brief bolt...

Learning from bad days

2011-09-23T09:44:00.001-05:00

I appreciate the supportive comments about my escapade with Smokey.

However...

This horse journey for me is about learning from my mistakes. I'm not beating myself up, I just need to learn what I shoulda'.

In the event that these lessons are helpful to others, here is what I would have done different.

1. When I learned they were running late I should have had a plan B. I have noticed that horses know the minute you don't know what to do. I did take him to the street to do some work, and if I'd kept doing some deliberate work, that would have helped.

2. I should have changed him into his working halter. The web halter was not sending a message, it just became a tug of war. He never pulled completely away, but it was harder than it needed to be.

3. Correct the rear immediately. Nuf said.

4. Not spend so much time in the water. He is a good water horse, but we should have cut our time there in half.

5. Someone asked if I was lunging him. Not in terms of mindless circles. More like giving him a chance to move since that's how he releases anxiety. And refocusing. Yes he goes in a circle, but it's about turning ear and eye to me, not wearing down. I'd like to have a longer lead line for these moments.

6. Check my emotions more to not let my frustration build. Shake it off quicker. I'm going to get aggravated. But I can work on getting back to balance sooner.

I did many things right. Most importantly we ended in a very solid place. The next two days we had terrific rides. We will see what's next.

A Bastrop Fire Update

2011-09-22T08:44:00.001-05:00

The fire in Bastrop is 95% contained. The very day I went swimming with Smokey (and locked myself out of the truck and trailer, and had that weird moment where suddenly everything was... right) there was another fire at the lake, near our barn. Fortunately it was put out quickly. I've never heard of so many fires in our area starting for no rhyme or reason.

This post by Sarah at Halt Near X does a great job of summing up the situation in Texas. As does the word dire.

This video by Raymond Schlogel,a camera man who shoots for Larry Gaitlan, was so compelling, I had to post it here. There is a scene, about midway through, of horses who are running on the road, loose, running from the fire or its remains. Or maybe they have no where to go home to.

Texas Fires/Alpha Rev - Black Sky from Underground Planet on Vimeo.

If you get a chance, read his description of filming that day.

Texas sure could use a hurricane.

Well THAT didn't go well... Part 2

2011-09-20T09:10:00.001-05:00

Ground tie. Yes, sometimes he can ground tie.
It's a work in progress.

I pulled out my chair from the trailer, grabbed my cooler, got a little organized. Smokey had his hay bag.

I decided to walk him over to the road area that leads into the parking lot. One of my goals is to work with him on pavement every chance I get since it seems to make him (me) nervous. He was perfect, lead nicely, looked about but didn't get worried.

We headed back to the trailer. Still no sign of the BO and B. I tied him to the trailer and tried to settle down to eat a little. I changed into something suitable for swimming. Still nobody.

How long does it take your horse to unravel? It took mine about 10 minutes of waiting. Then he was a fish on a line, twirling around, convinced that the other horses should be here.

I had to agree. I needed to give him something to do, something to focus on. And me too.

I decided that we'd go swimming. They'd be there soon, and could meet us in the water.

I locked my cell phone and truck keys in the trailer tack room and headed for the lake. Smokey was a little less well behaved, so we corrected here and there. His head was high, he was looking for others, calling once or twice. We entered the water and he was initially doing well.

Then he began pawing at the water. Then pulling on the rope. I only had him in his web halter (mistake number 3 of about 79) and had trouble making my messages convincing. Then it happened.

It was the thing that if I was a more knowledgeable horse woman, someone who understood young horses better, I would have nipped in the bud. He gave the tiniest rear.

Honestly, it was just beautiful and that's part of the reason I didn't think of correcting it. Then came the head moves in the water, and a second, bigger rear.

Don't get me wrong, he was never in danger of falling over, nor was he rearing "at" me, but he was definitely doing this as a show of strength. Not to me, I believe, my sense was it was more of a display meant for anyone who might dare come to eat him.

Right about then I decided to get us out of the water. I'd tried to ride him in the water, but he was too headstrong, too full of himself – in a bad way. He seemed to blank out about me for moments, I reminded him that I was there. He was that frazzled.

We walked out of the water – I turned him twice when he got ahead of me – and we headed back to the trailer. Still no sign of the BO or B.

That's it, we're leaving, I thought to myself. I secured him to the trailer, stepped in to get a manure fork to clean it out, and shut the tack room door. As I was shoveling out manure I saw him rear – again – as he was tied.

That's it! I thought, my last shred of patience gone. I gave him an immediate verbal correction and headed out to do some circles. He was a mess, but eventually got two braincells focused on me. I re-tied him and went to put up the manure fork.

Which is when I discovered that the tack room door was locked. I checked down at my pocket. It was flapped open and a quick check showed there was no key there.

Seriously? I'd lost it during our brief lead line lunging? And how did the door even lock? I was so pleased that I couldn't accidentally lock the tack room door because it requires the key to lock it. Yet I was so gifted that I somehow managed this feat.

And my cell phone?

In the tack room. Cuz, you know, it's safer in there.

Now who was frazzled?

I seemed to remember I'd beeped opened the truck, so I checked the doors. The passenger doors were still locked, but the drivers side was open. I started rummaging for the extra key. Gone. With all the recent moves we were constantly moving keys around.

We have a hidden key, though. I grabbed a dirty towel from the back and lay it on the ground under the truck. Well, now we know why we call it hidden. I sure as heck couldn't find it.

I attempted not to hyperventilate.

I looked back at the tack room door. It has a window. Maybe I could break it, I'd hung the keys on a hook inside the door, surely I could reach them. Fortunately I hadn't locked the window from the inside, and I was able to slide it open and punch out the screen.

I reached down blindly and touched the knob for the door. I figured that this door would have some sort of safety built in so you couldn't lock yourself inside. Sure enough, the knob slid , and the door was open.

See the round knob? I love that round knob.

No sign of the tack room key, but big deal, I already figured out how to break into it anyway. I quickly grabbed my truck keys and cell phone and put them in the checked-three-times,-yes-it's- unlocked truck. Now, to load Smokey.

I don't even have to tell you this part, right? He refused to load. Right about then the BO and B showed up, looking like they'd had a heck of a ride themselves. (they did).

“Will he not load?” the BO called out.

“Oh, he's going to load.” I said. Shortly there after he did, without any help from anyone else (my lone source of pride at that point).

I drove back as rain started to hit my windshield. I was so disappointed, I'd made choices that day that set us back, way back. What was I doing with a five year old horse? I had no clue. I let him unravel because I couldn't see it coming. I bit back the thought that I shouldn't actually have this horse. It's a mental road I've driven many times, thinking I don't "deserve" this horse. I'm over that now.

When championship reiners are being left to starve, I have no illusions that somehow the fact I'm not a top level trainer and dressage rider is a horrible fate for Smokey. Frankly, I'm of the mind that we are both just going to have to deal with our mutual shortcomings. I'll work on mine, he'll work on his, we'll get somewhere because I'm too stubborn not to get somewhere.

At the barn I unloaded him and took him to the round pen. We had a brief session. He listened well after some quick turns. But I knew we still weren't ending this on this note. He needed to get back in the trailer.

Before you think I was totally insane, remember, we are in an extreme fire danger zone, even a day of rain won't cure that. I can't have a horse who won't load.

And we were not ending on a good note. He was going through the motions, but he wasn't connecting with me.

We had another battle at the trailer. He wouldn't come near it, acted like he had no idea where I wanted him to go when I was trying to line lunge him. This is a horse who will change direction in the round pen with a slight movement of my shoulders.

I finally got a glimmer of cooperation. He turned in the direction I asked. We went back to the trailer. He put a hoof in, then back out. I turned him once and went back to the trailer and stood there with him, dropping my head.

“Come on Smokey. We're way past this, we know how to do this,” I said softly.

And he jumped in the trailer.

I stepped in after him. He stood in place, his eyes still wide, but something coming back into them, something I was surprised to see.

The only way I can describe it is it was that look your child gets when they drop the tough guy act and they are there, your kid again. Accepting of your help. Accepting of your role. Letting go.

We stood in the trailer together for a minute. Maybe two. Neither one of us asking to leave. Then I stepped away and said “back.” He calmly stepped back and I walked him back to his paddock and the rain went from a sprinkle to a gentle steady fall.

When I got home to get cleaned up I found the trailer key. It was stuck in my pocket.

I had apparently not dug deep enough.

Well THAT didn't go well... Part 1

2011-09-19T09:20:00.004-05:00

Things did not go well.

In fact, it was pretty much a disaster. Fortunately, for once, I kept my perspective. Not completely, but darn near.

But let's start at the beginning. On Friday the trainer/BO suggest I join her at the lake for a morning ride. I declined. I knew she was taking her endurance riding client out there and they had been working on conditioning the new Qua-Arab in the barn.

I've been really enjoying my horse time, but sticking to my comfort zone around the barn. Both horses are doing well, we are all having a good time, drama is low.

So riding with two experience endurance riders who will be on horses who have been in training for weeks sounds like a bad idea to me. I'd be on the greenest horse, who I hadn't ridden in a week – and last week with all the changes in our lives with DH, I'd only ridden once. No thanks.

“Just join us for a swim, then. You can come out and meet us afterwards and swim with Smokey.”

Hmm. That sounded doable. We'd haul over to the lake which would be good, meet them, maybe hand walk around, then swim, then go home. Minimal. So I agreed.

That night I packed my lunch with my nerves barely contained, attempting to decide between an orange and trail mix, as if picking the wrong item would throw off my rhythm.

I ended up taking both.

I was out at the barn a little later than usual on Saturday to feed since DH was home and we were hanging out a bit. Rain had finally fallen in San Antonio and we were hopefully that a few drops would head our way. Clouds surrounded us, a welcome gray shade, the smell of damp earth in the air. I wondered if the weather would impact the horses' moods.

I pulled into the barn and set to work to quickly grained the horses I knew they'd be taking – Jake, the Qua-Arab bought from the auction, Tuffy, the BO's latest horse and just about the sweetest, calmest arab I've ever met, and Rocky, the other bay arab (also a sweet horse, but with many soundness issues). I was just starting on graining my horses when BO and the Client, B, arrived. We talked through the plan – I'd call about 11 then head out to meet them. By then I'd have Smokey warmed up, maybe we'd ride in the parking area, then swim and have lunch.

Then I saw a bad scrape on Smokey's knee.

BO checked it, and agreed it was fairly minor, something he must have picked up when they were running loose in the pasture area. I would treat it with a water therapy and decided if he showed any signs of lameness at all we'd call it off.

They loaded up after a while and I focused on feeding the remaining horses. I hooked up my truck to the trailer, triple checking everything since it had been so long since I'd hauled anywhere. Then I got Smokey saddled up and Lily haltered.

I worked Lily in the round pen and rode bareback. We worked on cleaning up our side pass to the gate. It gets better every time. I've grown so close to this mare, and she has so much try it's challenging to not over ask. We're getting the hang of each other.

Then I rode Smokey in the round pen. Not a bit of lameness in the leg. In fact I was surprised to find him quiet and responsive given how little we'd ridden lately. It was as if we weren't missing a lick. It looked like this was going to be a great day to take a step forward.

He's already getting his grulla coat on.

I took Lily back to have hay with the others and rode Smokey out on the trails. He was perfect. Quiet. Listening. We curved around bushes and trees, up gentle slopes, everything went so well. The swim would be a reward, I decided. A nice topper to a good day.

I called the BO a little later than the time we'd set up. She said they were running late, but to head on out. Smokey loaded easily and we headed out to the lake.

When we pulled into the parking lot I was a little concerned with the number of trailers in place. I thought the BO said no one was there, but maybe they arrived after they had hit the trails. I unloaded Smokey and he was pretty good. A bit up, but not bad at all.

Unfortunately it was a condition that wouldn't last.

Off Topic - Crib Notes Mega Monday

2011-09-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

Some Mondays aremore Monday than other Mondays.

Some Mondays youcarefully plan your entire day to make it to an appointment in SanAntonio and arrive five minutes early! That is, five minutes earlyfor the time you carefully wrote down. Which is the wrong time. Theone hour wrong time.

I tried to think ofmyself as only 55 minutes late, but it was cold comfort on the longdrive back home.

My fate Monday wassealed early on. Right around 4:30 am I glanced at the clock andnoted that yes, the alarm was set, and yes, I had another hour and ahalf to sleep.

Unfortunatelyignorance is sleep inducing. My dreams were so optimistic, consisting of all the things I was going to get done later in theday. I felt positively productive when I woke up, until I glancedover and realized I was an hour behind, because although my alarm hadgone off, it had done so silently.

Only I would keep analarm that goes off silently. Granted, it isn’t designed to go offsilently, but it has a sticky button that every now and then changesthe volume from dream shattering to dream extending. I keep thinkingI’ll remember to double check it and it won’t be a problem.

And now it won’tbe. That clock is off to a nice big land fill.

Mireya got a tardyslip at school, the first day they were giving them out. She gave methat look as she took possession of the slip. That “you havetotally ruined my reputation with the new principal” look. Iencouraged her to have a good day despite the rocky start. Sherefrained from rolling her eyes, but just barely.

The spirit of MegaMonday continued. I tried to drop off books to donate at the library.The box they were in was falling apart, but after some carefulstacking I managed to struggle over to the Friends of the Librarystore doorway. Only to find that the Friends of the Library areclosed on Mondays.

Smart cookies, thoseFriends of the Library.

I managed to get mybooks back to the truck without dropping them on my foot. Some timesfate has a little bit of sympathy. Not enough sympathy to keep theother box from falling over when I opened the door, but enough tokeep everything really heavy inside the truck.

All I can say isthank goodness it’s Thursday.

(Do you enjoy these? The ebook collection will be out in a month! )

Fire and Hay

2011-09-14T06:07:00.003-05:00

Imagine that it's been the worst drought in recent memory. That hay is hard to find, but somehow you managed to get enough hay into your barn to tide you through. It's not quite enough, but you are hopeful you'll be able to make it last.

Then imagine the worst fire in Texas history.

The horse folk in Bastrop are going to have a tough time of it for a thousand reasons, and while hay isn't the biggest one, it's certainly one we all know about.

The Heart of Texas Morgan Horse Club here is raising donations for hay. I know these folks and every dime will go to getting those affected hay to feed horses that have been evacuated. If you would like to make a donation, they are accepting paypal (and checks) contributions here.

Any little bit you might be able to spare will help. Thanks for considering...

Quick Update - Fire still burning - and a mixed blessing

2011-09-13T08:42:00.004-05:00

image from KUT News - shot at a livestock auction

At last report 1554 houses have been lost. People are living in hotels, kids are getting back to school today with school buses picking them up at the grocery store. Last I heard, everyone I know has evacuated their animals. But here's a story about a woman who lost one horse, but her mare survived somehow, with burns over half her body (click here, but warning, the video shows the mare, "hell bitch", recovering and is tough to see).

image from KCENTV

The fire is 60% contained, 34,000 acres have been burned and two people lost their lives. The drought is refusing to let up and the only chance for rain is Sunday. Hopefully the wind will stay quiet and they can stop this fire - the worst we've ever had in Texas.

image from the Austin American Statesman

-------------------------

Life around here has undergone another change, a mixed blessing. My husband found a good job and it looks like we'll be on the road to recovery from our own kind of drought.

Here's the mixed part. The job is in Ft. Worth. Fortunately the company I work for is based in Dallas, and they would likely welcome me there. In six months we'll be assessing whether or not it makes sense to move, at least temporarily. I don't want to move, but I don't want my kids to have a weekend Dad either.

Still, this IS a great blessing, he's very happy and feeling so much better about himself. Not working is harder on men, IMHO, because so much of their self worth is tied to being "a provider." I'm so glad he found what is, for him, a dream job.

But this is really going to limit my horse time since I've lost 50% of my support system here at home. Somehow we'll get through, but if you have any tips, I'd love to hear them. And if you know anyone who might rent a horse property in the area around May 2012, I may be in the market...

----------------------

Smokey and Lily are doing well, and send their regards to all of the e-herd out there.

Fire update - a bit of good news

2011-09-07T00:37:00.004-05:00

Our friend got her horse out - the horses headed out to a different area where they were able to access the herd from another road in time. I've heard from others that they aren't doing so well. Evacuations continue.

The big fire still rages out of control. Firefighters are working, now more than 50 hours straight.

Here at the lake, we are safe. But here's a video showing how quick it can change (this was a beautiful park, a real jewel in this area that has been a goal of mine to ride at. Now, it's 90% gone.).

Interactive map of the fires is available here.

I was hoping without the big winds it would be out by now. But after watching that video I realize that we are just one giant tinderbox.

I find myself even missing the mosquitoes which have been non existent this summer. Because there is no standing water anywhere.

This would be a good time for a miracle.

The Hill Country is on fire

2011-09-06T08:53:00.004-05:00

The view from our barn - our barn owner snapped this picture

We are safe, as are our horses. But several members of our extended herd are not. Our friends in Bastrop have successfully evacuated their horses and those of a neighboring ranch and when I last checked in they were working on moving the residents of the Bastrop Zoo/Rescue. A bear and a tiger are part of that zoo.

A friend in another area couldn't get to her five year old horse at a boarding facility before they closed the roads down. The barn owner there said they just opened the gates, hoping the horses will out run the flames. I can't imagine how horrible both the barn owner and the horse owner must feel right now.

Of course it's not all about horses. At this point 500 homes are lost and the fire is not contained in Bastrop. We had two flare ups at the lake where we live but they were put down quickly.

It's bone dry, and while it's cooling, it's still a crazy tinderbox.

I wish it would rain.

Two photos

2011-09-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

I wanted to take a picture of Smokey and I, just standing around. I didn't want to pull his face to me, because I felt a nice closeness, a nice peacefulness that I wanted to capture. Even though it's not a flattering photo of me, I thought I'd post it...

Then he leaned into me. Then I knew I'd post it. Happy Labor Day!

Detective work in the barn

2011-09-04T11:16:00.003-05:00

I have a curious horse.

I think a curious horse is a good thing and occasionally a dangerous or annoying thing. But most of the time it's an amusing thing. Until they lock you in the feed room like Carson's horse Lyle did - anybody remember that?

Anywho, Smokey is a curious horse and very lippy. Like Lyle, I think.

I had left him tied near the tack room in the barn alley and went to get Lily. I heard the sound of things falling. I was surprised when I walked into the tack room to find this on the floor.

Smokey looked surprised to see me.

He offered to help pick up.

But only if I'd move the cookie jar closer.

(See that roundish white container just out of reach? That's the cookie jar)

Now we tie Smokey on the other side - near the feed room door. Somehow I'm not sure that's a good idea either.

Sir Smokey and the Fire Breathing Dragon

2011-08-29T11:32:00.010-05:00

Hi. It's me. Smokey.

Today I have a cautionary
tale for all my fellow horses out there.

Beware the Dragon!!

It wasn't a dragon.

MOM! I thought we agreed I could tell the story.

You are going to freak people out.
Not to mention our horse followers.

Sometimes life is scary. Really scary.
This is a service to my e-herd.

E-herd? Seriously?
Did you just make that up?

We were going to try I-herd, but Lily said it
was too alpha mare.

I can see that.

ANYWAY, back to MY story. I was out on the trail
practicing dragging Lily around.

The correct term is "ponying"

Have you seen the hind quarter on
that mare?

If she's a pony, then I'm a draft horse!

Good point.

Anyway, I was high up on the trail when
I first heard the dragon. It was a terrible sound,
deep and roaring, and verily I say to you
there was even a cursed smell.

Verily? Cursed? Have you been
reading my old sword and
sorcery novels?

Lily was reading something she
called a "bodice ripper." I thought it
was about harness racing.

It was so not.

But I picked up
a few terms here and there.

Oh dear.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Aye, the smell was terrible,
like a hoof burning. Sure, it was hot out,
but not that hot out.

Of course I was on high alert since we
have interlopers in the barn.

They are here for training, remember?

They are interlopers. I saw one of them
eating from MY HAY BALE.

We have dozens of hay bales.
How do you know they ate yours?

Silly. They are ALL mine.

Anyway, the smell and the roaring
was coming from my barn.

I was eager to investigate.

You could have fooled me.

Eager and cautious.

Like a giraffe.

It's easier to see with my head up like that.

Finally I convinced mom that we should head in to investigate.
The roaring was deafening! There was the sound of grinding
of bones too. I feared for our lives, and that of mom.

Still I walked in, courageous horse that I am.

(Refraining from commenting
with great discipline)

The roaring was coming from the lowest part of the beast.
I was right! There was a dragon!

And there, tied to the wall to serve as a sacrifice,
was one of the interlopers!

Too bad for him, but would WE BE NEXT?

I told you, it was a forge. For the black smith.

That's ridiculous. My farrier only uses files and
hammers.

Sometimes they use forges.

It was a dragon!

And now the interloper has it's discarded
teeth on its feet! It must have made some sort of deal! Probably
will lead us all into the dragon's lair later!

(palm to head)

Ahem. Back to the story.

The beast blocked the wash rack and we circled it cautiously...

That's one word for it.

And I got rinsed off within a hoof width of the monster.

It was a truck. The black smith's truck.

Right. With a roaring fire and bone grinder next to it.

Egads, mom, it's amazing you haven't been devoured.

Egads? Egads?
That's it. No more romance
novels for you.

That's fine. I think I need martial arts training anyway.
They have all kinds of dragons in China.

Have you heard of Jackie Chan?

Cibolo says he's got
all the moves.

Better?

2011-08-28T22:16:00.002-05:00

You tell me.

1:

and 2:

Comments and critiques welcome, but I think I improved (except for the very end lurch).

More videos and a post a little later. Stayed up too late. It was 110 today, which we do not do.

This better not be global warming, because if it is, I'm moving.

Hope you had a horse filled weekend...

Shoulder improves, riding through Smokey's antic

2011-08-26T17:28:00.004-05:00

Lily's shoulder seems better - after her pitchy episode I noted her shoulder was out and it seemed reasonable that it could be causing her to be so off balance (although lord knows I need to work on three things at least).

So I did my best Jr. Chiro Adjustment that I was taught. I don't have the strength to do it right, or the right technique, but she licked and chewed afterwards, so I crossed my fingers. She had four days off and I came out to ride early.

Her attitude was noticeably better, and we headed to the round pen. I wanted her to run on some soft sand so I could see how she felt. Sure enough she did some out of character neck/head snaking, but after one rotation I could see that she was getting more comfortable. After five or six more turns there was no more twisting on her part, her transition was fluid. The joint, I think, was warmed up.

I think this is what she needs, every time. And I need to keep an eye on her shoulder.

We rode in the round pen, cantering smoothly. I worked on keeping my arms quiet, my legs in a better position and mostly relaxing into the ride. It was a good session for both of us. I didn't drive her with my seat, but tried to move with her rhythm. I'll try to video it tomorrow, or maybe Sunday.

We worked also on side passing to the gate which is a mess. But I think we made progress. We'll keep working it.

............

Smokey was very funny today. One thing I like about this horse is his curiosity. I'm looking forward to exposing him to more things so he can explore the world a bit more - poor thing, it's been so hot and I've been so budget conscious and trail worried that we haven't made any trips this summer. I could get somewhere early enough to ride, but then the trailer ride home it'll be over 100.

I think realistically my next step is trailering to another arena. I'm trying to be rational about where I'm willing to go right now. Frankly, I'm having fun riding again, and while I need to do more, I'm reveling in the fun at this point. And an arena seems like a good option.

I was getting Lily ready for cooling off after our ride and he poked his head in the tack room. A stack of magazines was just in reach. He grabbed one and started lipping through it. Apparently he found it boring, and tossed it on the floor.

Our ride in the round pen was one part perfect, and one part "I don wanna!"

His weak canter is clockwise, and I find I have to have a serious conversation at some point in that canter. Sometimes it's better than others, today we had to head off a cow kick and a turn to the center. And then, as if he reached some sort of inner conclusion, we rode on, in a perfect canter circle. Clockwise.

..............

It was a morning I wanted to hold on to, I wanted to take the rest of the day off and not let go of my horses. Even though we didn't accomplish some big thing, we didn't conquer any major obstacle or win any trophy. I wanted it to go on and on.

There isn't enough time. There isn't enough time in my life for these horses (nor money, but sometimes I can believe that's a minor concern).

But I make the best of the moments I've got. I wrap them in a silk ribbon and wear them around my neck, letting the warmth, the softness, the smooth flow of memory sink deep inside and remind me of how precious it all is.

All of it.

Cantering video

2011-08-23T22:38:00.000-05:00

Here's a brief video of my near death... er,... my canter on Lily when she felt a bit "pitchy." Let me know if I am doing anything to cause this problem from what you see. (I did get off balance at the end, so that lean was definitely not helping. :))

(isn't she just the bees knees?)

Last Weekend of Summer - 3 horse days...

2011-08-21T22:12:00.002-05:00

It was the last official weekend of Summer (granted 100 degree days are expected for several more weeks - but insofar as the school calendar is concerned, this is it).

I had three straight days of horse time squeezed in before school shopping marathons. Friday was the usual "I have no idea what you're talking about. What's a canter?" and "Hi everybody! I'm walking by! Yoo hoo!"

Really? REALLY? Do we have ta?

Saturday was a chance to share horse time with my good friend and writing buddy Kimber (from Fragrant Liar, very funny blog) who rode Cody the Wonder Horse.

I'm not sure who was happier.

Smokey decided turns were purely optional at the canter, and we had some close encounters with the fence line. I have to remind myself that there was a time I couldn't turn him at the trot. So we are getting there. He did, however, insist on some photos (seriously, he mugged for the camera/iphone).

This is my good side, mom.

And shared his views on helmets - they should be worn, even if it's just the liner.

On Sunday Sierra joined me at the barn, she on Cody the Wonder Horse, me on Lily and Smokey. Lily did some crow hopping at the canter, but I suspect it was because of how I was sitting. Once I sat deeper for the departure, she did great. Does that make sense? I have a video I'll be posting tomorrow of our canter time.

Smokey, on the other hoof, demonstrated his ability to turn at the canter - in the round pen. But it was our best round pen cantering, so I considered it progress.

We took some time to do the trails together along with Janice and her arabian mare Lucy. Lily did well, Smokey was so-so. Wish there were more cool hours in the day...

WTC for Smokey, Back up to Speed on Lily

2011-08-14T21:59:00.003-05:00

The birthday marathon season is almost over and I managed to put in three solid day s on the horses - after two weeks off.

It started predictably - Lily acting as if she's never been out of a barn in her life, Smokey acking like a 900 pound toddler. Fortunately I recognize these things as part of who they are, not some sort of alarming trend.

It made me think of what it is our horses need from us and how it can be so different with each horse.

Lily, for example, as solid as she is, has a thing with worry. She tries to please but if you start to worry, she takes it and runs with it. She needs assurance, emotional assurance, from her rider. I can canter her around an arena, but when a young girl gets on her Lily feels the girl's worry and progressively gets chargy.

I get back on her and she exhales. And we go into a gentle lope, no problem.

Smokey, on the other hand, needs me to be focused and pretty stern. He is like a butterfly, wanting to flit from thing to thing. Our Sunday session fell apart a bit, and while I cobbled it back together, I realized that I need to remember to work on one thing at a time. And if it's not the day to work on it (when he gets frustrated) to refocus myself and work on plan B with the same strict attention to detail.

It's no accident that I have two horses that are so soft to the touch that I need to pay attention to details. This is exactly the kind of sense of humor God has always had with me. I had said I didn't mind waiting to have our second baby, but I didn't want to be changing diapers on my 40th birthday.

Mireya, our second child was born two months before my 40th birthday. Because SOMEBODY apparently finds these things funny.

Ahem.

So challenging Ms. Big Picture with two horses that are all about details?

Funny. REAL funny.

Cody, he's a horse you could ride all day and basically get away with kick to go, pull to stop. Your legs could flop all over and he'd just go with it. You need no attention to detail with that horse, just a general sense of direction.

But of course I can't have that kind of horse. No, no, no.
Because how would that help me grow?

On another note the trainer asked me to head out for a trail ride. I opted out. There is no way I'm ready after two weeks off. I need some desensitization. Some reintegration time. I finally asked her how long it had been since she'd been on a horse that bolted on a trail with her. She was silent for a minute and admitted it had been a while. It's been a while for me too. but right now, I'm going to do what I can and build my confidence. I'm simply not in a place to dive in. I'm sure she sees a horse that could be doing so much more.

But for me, I just want to work up to it. Maybe in September.

Crib Notes - the Tarantula saga part ewwww.

2011-08-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned, life has been very horse free lately, but it has featured an arachnid. Here's part Ewww in the tarantula saga.

The Cobweb in the Sky

The tarantula saga continues, thank goodness.

Fuschia, the pink-toed tarantula we are arachnid sitting for the summer, is a casual eater, dining on her crickets only periodically. I have yet to see her dine on her buggy entrees, a lucky coincidence I earnestly hope to continue experiencing.

But as a result, I can’t just dump a load of crickets every other day in her terrarium/condo, but have to peer in to see if any of the doomed hoppers remain. She usually moves a bit, a tiny leg wave as if she’s annoyed that I’m blocking her light.

Then, on Thursday she didn’t move. I came back later and checked again. Nothing. I blew gently on her, which is a sure fire way to get her moving. Still as a rock. I was horrified. Somehow we had managed to kill the third grade class tarantula. The kids were out of town for the night with dad, so I decided to spare them the bad news.

The next morning my guilty conscious required me to send a message to Mr. Herzog, the teacher who had entrusted us with Fuschia’s care:

Bad news. The tarantula has gone to the big cobweb in the sky.

While Fuschia has been a relatively quiet member of the household, I was not looking forward to breaking the news to Mireya who would be mortified that we had managed to fail arachnid sitting. She’s been a dutiful, if distant, guardian of the eight-legged summer guest, regularly filling her water bowl and reporting on her location in the web.

When they arrived back home I realized it was time to break the news. I checked on Fuschia one last time.

I did a double take. It looked a little crowded in there. Like Fuschia had a guest.

Certainly we had not invited over any gentleman suitors to her condo. And, as far as I knew, no one else was bringing in more “pets,” although around here you can never be sure.

I peered in for a closer look, and sure enough, there were more legs in there than there should be. I left the room to… er… get some air.

Then it slowly dawned on me. Fuschia has molted. And apparently she has learned from my daughters that the best place for a discarded outfit is right in the middle of her room.

I sent an update to Mr. Herzog. He had been out of town, but had surmised that we were witnessing molting, not expiration.

He then suggested we could keep Fuschia’s outgrown shell, to which I sent a message back:

Ewwww.

Horse? What Horse? How about a Crib Note?

2011-08-09T20:05:00.004-05:00

Tis the season of the birthday parties here (Dad and both daughters) and that means Momma has no time for her four hoofed kids. It showed when the farrier came. Lily was fine, Smokey was a brat - but he was just bored. We got it done, but fun it was not.

Plus its hot enough to smelt copper.

Hopefully this Friday will give me some horse time. Until then, here's a Crib Notes to get you laughing... I'm going to post part one of what is the tarantula trajectory:

Not our tarantula, but definitely her twin sister. Or brother.

First, some background. Our adventures with tarantula started on the last week of school:

Our youngest daughter, the one who still runs from moths, volunteered to take home the class pink-toed tarantula. Since I consider this one small step on ridding her of her bug phobia that has made spring such a delight, I agreed. This is despite my rather spotty record with tarantulas (I wrote about the wild tarantula incident four years ago, drop me a line if you’re really curious).

This sudden desire to have a large hairy spider for the entire summer was my first indication that the bouncy princess I have been dropping off every morning was being replaced by someone else entirely. Someone who didn’t mind having a tarantula and its prey - jumpy, noisy crickets which are ALSO bugs, by the way – acting out the cycle of life in her room.

Now let's fast forward to June for a Crib Note titled "When the Crickets Chirp":

So far our tarantula sitting duty has gone exactly as expected.

Disastrous.

If you ever find yourself having to buy crickets to feed a tarantula, remember, size is everything with crickets. In our case, I bought ones that were so small, they escaped their containment box. I managed to keep this hopping, jumping, buggy problem hidden from my children until I rounded up the escapees and taped up their enclosure.

I didn’t disclose the cricket escape because there would have had no room in our bed for adults to sleep since the kids would be too freaked out to sleep downstairs. Then our pet sitter and friend, Steph, thought the tarantula escaped while we were on vacation. When the news leaked out, it looked like we’d have to relocate upon our return since there was no way either kid would come back into a house with a loose tarantula.

Fortunately Fuschia, the renamed pink toed tarantula, was merely hanging out in a thick part of her web tunnel. On our next cricket acquisition trip I got a more appropriate sized crickets. Just one problem. Bigger crickets really make lots of interesting scurrying noises in their box. I was upstairs working when I heard a crash. We looked around but didn’t notice anything amiss.

Then, while I was outside I got a call on my cell phone – from inside the house.

“Mommy?” Mireya’s voice was so small, I had to strain to hear it. “There’s a cricket loose. I’m hiding upstairs.”

I rushed back inside to find both girls hiding out upstairs, and the entire box of crickets turned over in the living room. The cat was staring under the couch, twitching his tail nonchalantly, attempting to maintain an air of plausible deniability.

Fortunately, the crickets were easy to catch. Each one had suffered mild injuries during their cat encounter and full on hopping was no longer possible. It did mean a Saturday filled with sudden screams of AAAHHH!

Another issue is once a cricket gets to a certain size it can chirp. Chirping crickets, which has always been a signal to me to relax, are having the exact opposite impact on Mireya. Chirping crickets mean there are bugs in her room, which FREAKS HER OUT.

Who knew tarantulas only feel the need to eat periodically, and until then there’s chirping and therefore a little kid in our bed upstairs.

So, in case you’re considering adding a pink toed tarantula to your world take my advice.

Get a pet rock.

Really? Really?

2011-07-31T22:19:00.002-05:00

First the truck went out.

Now the AC in my car is out, and it's going to cost twice as much as the truck. It'll be 110 on Tuesday. Which is not particularly survivable.

So I guess we are getting the truck fixed.

But the universe is now on notice:

CUT. IT. OUT.

Thank you. You may return to your activities.

(in other headlines: Had one nice day with the horses. Smokey was fab. Lily has kicked off a shoe. Mireya is nine as of Friday. The tarantula gave me a heart attack. Sierra is singing up a storm. Trainer wants me to do an endurance race in October. I'm thinking she's crazy.)

Are you game?

2011-07-24T15:24:00.004-05:00

It's pretty hot here. In fact we are a testing site for scientists who are attempting to find a way to get a snowball to survive temperatures in hades.

So far they are having about the same success rate as the debt negotiations.

Anywho, I'm not up for any long adventures in this heat. Then the oil pump went out in our truck, so we aren't going anywhere for a while since apparently oil pumps require the removal of the ENGINE.

I tell you what, Detroit would be doing a lot better if they'd build cars we could still work on in our driveways. But I digress.

I've been admiring the journey Lisa is making with Apache and have been getting bored with my self imposed exile to the arena. While you can always do things in an arena, I just felt like I wasn't really doing anything. And I certainly can be working on cantering, but frankly it's too darn hot to get the horses hotter.

So I decided today to do a little game. I love doing games on horseback, but since I'm usually riding alone these days (sensible people are staying inside), I've been thinking of what games I can pull off.

Today we did the blue bag games. Basically I put random items in a blue bag and distributed them around the arena, on horseback, then rearranged them.

Interestingly, after one minor reaction from Smokey, he was all for it. So much so that he grabbed every item HIMSELF.

You never know. Some times there are cookies.

We don't do cookies for you. You're too lippy.

Mistakes can happen, ya know.

Riiight. So after Smokey flung about
the blue bag, his halter, Lily's boot, and
the crib sheet, we got to work rearranging them
in the arena. We even cantered a few straight
lines to make it more exciting.

I always make it exciting!

Generally by refusing to turn.

Hey, exciting is exciting.

Then it was Lily's turn. She was, well, less than enthusiastic.

I don't know where you get
these ridiculous ideas.
Here's a game for you -
Fill the Hay bag!

Again? I filled it 10 minutes ago.

Any way, Lily nearly came out of her
horseshoes, startling at everything.

Hey! Exaggeration!
I was fine with the halter and lead rope.

True. But how about the bag?

It was moving.

It was the breeze.

It was an unnatural color.

It's the same color as your saddle blanket.

And your point would be...

Then we had significant
issues getting in position to pick up items.

You wanted to get way too close to those
things. I was merely keeping you at a safe distance.

As you can see, she's sort of over protective. It was a fun session.

Fun? Fun is extra grain. Fun is a filled
hay bag. Fun is alfalfa in the
barn aisle. That was crazy.

Just wait! Next week we'll work on log dragging.
From the ground first. Then I want to place some
of these things on the trail and work on it there.
It'll give me something to focus on, and hopefully end my exile sooner.

Like the trail isn't scary enough.
Frankly, I don't understand what you
have against the arena. It's
perfectly safe and certainly
within the site of the herd.
What more could you ask for?

As you can see, Lily is still not sold on the concept...

Better. Getting Better

2011-07-18T05:35:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update: I rode both Lily and Smokey Saturday and Sunday and both did wonderfully. Smokey is coming around on his canter to the right, his canters to the left are solid. Did just the local trails with a friend at the barn on Sunday, and got Lily another five yards down the road past her comfort zone during a solo ride.

Keeping two horses ridden is wearing me out! But it certainly does seem to work wonders with everyone's attitude.

My next goal is to find us a job to do. Have a great week, everybody, and see you soon...

Buck, the trail, and the loose horses

2011-07-15T13:33:00.004-05:00

I came home from a business trip and hooked up with Trail Rider and watched Buck. It was a great movie, and I came home looking forward to my day off to go ride my horses.

I had been struck how much Buck B. was like Mark Rashid in energy and demeanor. We all know that most of these trainers in the Ray Hunt, Tom Dorrance, style of training do much of the same things - gentle consistent firm work with flags, rope halters, a sharp eye for detail. There are many scenes in the movie that linger, many I wish I hadn't seen, frankly.

But reality is like that, isn't it?

I came away renewed and ready to work. There's a scene where students are working cows and Buck talks about horses (and people) needing to have work to do.

I have a day off from the kids and Dad as well as the office today, so headed out early to ride. Lily and I just mounted up and did trail work, made it through a few balks, widened our circle of riding to down the road alone. It was good.

The trainer insisted we ride next door on the ranch. I didn't want to. I just wanted to have a nice day, not confront my issues. Work on a few things in the arena, do the little trails. Part of it is I could see Smokey was hot today, very up. When he had come into eat, tossing his head like a little mustang, I knew what space he was in and didn't really want to have to deal with it on my one day off in months.

We rode in round pen to warm up. Cantering to the right he threw a fit. We worked through it, but this was not a horse I felt like dealing with on the trail.

She insisted. I should have declined. I didn't. "He needs this," she said. "And you do too."

Well.

We had a few arguments on the trail, Smokey and I, and I did win them all. Then we heard the sound of animals running. A herd of five horses was running loose, having broken through some fences. I elected to dismount. This was not an argument I wanted to have with Smokey in the saddle.

We kept trying to chase the herd off, they kept trying to enlarge their herd by two horses. The trainer would attempt to shoo them off, but it wasn't working at all. Smokey did well, just a little prancy, but respected my space after a quick reminder, and settled, looking to me.

The herd kept tailing us, chasing after us as we tried to walk off. At one point they surrounded the trainer on her horse and I had to toss rocks at them to drive them off. Still they returned.

I finally got fed up. I poured my anger out at them full bore, yelling, and tossed a few rocks, hitting flanks here and there. They got the message. They took off and this time stayed gone.

People. Don't tick me off. I'm like a crazy woman.

I got back in the saddle and we rode home.

The ride home Smokey was up. He needed to run out some energy from that whole loose horse episode, and I didn't have it in me. We worked on trot walk transitions and trot halts. It was ugly. I didn't want to end on that note.

When we got back to our familiar trails I just hit those alone with Smokey and bushwacked around. Much better. Then Smokey and I worked on standing still.

Sometimes, I told Smokey, your job is to stand still. It took a bit, but he got it.

I think we are at a place where we need a job to get through this. I think of Cactus Jack Splash and his DOR and I think, a job would be good for us.

So I'm going to think about it. Maybe if we had something else to focus on other than each other this would be fun again.

Cell Phone Scenes from horsetime

2011-07-12T06:59:00.004-05:00

Hanging out at the salad bar

Note to self: Stunning sunsets do not get captured by cell phones.
Blissful horses, however...

Soft, listening, willing. I must remind myself of this.

I ain't scerd of no shower curtain thingy.

I Did It. But Not Without SERIOUS Trepidation...

2011-07-10T20:44:00.002-05:00

We went on a trail ride today, and I have to say it wasn't really fun, per se. But it was something I needed to get out of the way.

I haven't been out on anything more than our immediate trail area since the entire "Do I Even Want to HAVE a Horse" episode. And when my friend and trainer arranged for us to ride the big ranch next door I wondered if I could or should.

I very nearly chickened out.

Smokey and I had several "conversations" on the trail. He was a bit up, but I knew I was significantly contributing to it with my anxiety and tried to get myself in a better frame of mind. I was only somewhat successful, but we did get some training done and made some progress.

Frankly I think *I* need some desensitization. I need some successful trail rides with him. I need to do some WTC rides in settings where I feel comfortable.

It's going to be a longer road back than I had hoped, but I did expect it.

So I plan on trying to mix in some travel to friend's places, to arenas, to just get out and about but not just trails.

I'm on the road back, but to be the leader I need to be on the trail, I need more wet saddle blankets too.

But at least today I got one. A tough one.

It's working

2011-07-09T23:08:00.003-05:00

her.There's something about this last decision, this decision to be the same person in the saddle as I am in the round pen, that has really pulled so many things together.

It reminds me of that moment when you are sewing something made of many different parts and the first time you pin it together it finally looks like what you are trying to make.

Today I asked the trainer to ride Smokey to see if I was doing something wrong at the canter in the arena. I was somewhat relieved to see he did the same thing with her as he had with me - worse in some spots, better in others.

He has gotten out of shape and balance at the canter, and it'll take some more time in the round pen before he's ready for the arena. But she commented on how solid his trot is and how he's progressing on his neck reining.

Then I cantered around the arena with Lily and it was effortless, my balance was there, my cues soft enough, and we made our circles without bowing out in any direction.

Of course Lily has about 11 years on Smokey, and this wasn't about her being better at the canter. It was about my improvement in the saddle, my new posture being more balanced. Her confidence has grown too, and nearly all the tiny spooks were gone.

Tomorrow we may go on a trail ride. I'm a bit hesitant to be honest. But a combination of things should make me more confident. Smokey is getting turned out in a big pasture every day and getting to run off energy. His manners are vastly improved. My attitude is in the right place.

So we shall see.

Vulnerability - In more ways than one

2011-07-04T20:18:00.002-05:00

I found this video in the last week, and it seems to echo many themes running around on the equine blogosphere of late.

It's long, but worth your time.

Up to my ankles

2011-07-03T15:08:00.004-05:00

A great joy filled me when I saw that Lisa was reconnected with her mare, Apache.

I admire her, and Val, who recently got back on board after a terrible fall from her steady eddie horse.

This is this silly, crazy horse life. We decide to ride, we who are relatively fragile compared to the animals we ride, who have people around us who depend on us to be here.

I was talking to Trail Rider about his new colt who has some health issues he's grappling with. As a doctor his brain is filled with complications possible as he weighs whether to return the horse, or keep him and risk it.

Over and over again it comes down to these risks. These crazy odds we play in this horse life.

A day or so ago I took one more step on my horse work, one I recognized later in a video I watched. Julie Goodnight was walking someone through proper round penning technique. I was comfortable to see that it was all old hat to me, so I could watch for other things, more subtle things other than what she was talking about. I noted the way she walked in the arena, held her head, signaled.

Then it hit me. My new attitude is about being the same person in the saddle that I am in the round pen.

Bringing Lily back from being basically unrideable to her old self has shown me that there is a connection between the work I do on the ground and the saddle. Some of it was just getter her mind focused.

But part of it, and no small part, was me. And that woman in the round pen? She hasn't been the one riding. If the woman I was in the saddle was the same one in the center of the round pen, that horse would be walking all over her.

Hmm. Darn obvious now.

So I've been working on being the same person in the saddle.

And what do you know. It's working.

My attention and focus is sharper, my confidence high, my sense of fairness is on track so I respond appropriately and in time. With Lily I work on speed and control. Today we did our longest solo trail ride, her first one out since we've been working. She had two balks, very small, and we went right through them. Riding in a halter. (I have ridden her in a bit, just to be sure she understands that in my hands a bit is not a bad thing).

With Smokey we are working on my faith in him through control exercises in the arena. WTC transitions and neck reining to give me a chance to teach him something. Then, during one of our arena times, we had one of those moments that I haven't appropriately checked before. Caught it, checked it appropriately, not losing my confidence, not questioning if it was the right response.

Because I DO know what to do. I just need to do it earlier, and more consistently. I'm finding the spot where I'm not supporting him, not giving him direction. He plays with the bit because he is testing boundaries, finding big gaps, and the gray is too gray, too wide. I can see it now, and I'm calmer and more confident about what I do know. But I know what I don't know, and am working on getting those aspects better through practice and discovery on Lily.

I feel close to the spot I was before the bolt, and yet, in a strange way, well past it. I am playing the odds again because in my life, in my mind, in my heart, the risks of this horse life remain worth it.

Ride on, my friends.

Toe in the water

2011-06-28T23:33:00.005-05:00

Today I rode both my horses in the round pen in a halter and bareback. Briefly. After all it was 100 degrees out.

I'm teaching Smokey to neck rein. He did very well.

I'm perfecting my side pass on Lily. She told me I was doing much better.

I think I'm getting ready to get back in the pool.

Off Topic - Crib Notes - Attack of the Giant Ball

2011-06-27T19:38:00.002-05:00

And now for something completely different. From my Weekly Column...

I had a friend once who always showed up at kids’ birthday parties with one present - a large ball. I knew she was on a budget, but still – a ball?

I’m here to tell you at every party it was a huge hit and it was all you could do to get the kid back to open up the other presents. I was shocked every time. Not one to be swayed by reality when faced with mommy peer pressure, I never had the courage to show up at a party with just a very large ball. But I never forgot how fun it was.

With summer insisting we all get our sunscreen on and hit the pool, the kids decided to break out their own very large ball. Very, very large – in fact it’s a GIANT inflatable ball, easily four feet in diameter and after nearly sending three of us to the hospital for oxygen, we blew it up to spherical perfection at the neighborhood pool.

Endlessly entertaining, the ridiculously large ball played the part of a slippery island, a monster, a bomb, and, at one moment, a way to conk your sister when she was becoming obnoxious.

Even a ball has its dark moments, I suppose.

When it was time to pile into the car we discovered that the ball, which had traveled to the neighborhood pool mostly deflated, was now far too large to fit in the car with passengers. This particular fact of geometry did not dissuade Sierra, who at 12 has a little bit of a stubborn streak (where could she have gotten that from?).

She squeezed herself and the giant ball into the front seat but discovered she was pinned in place and couldn’t reach the door handle, let alone close the door.

“Move the seat back! Move the seat back!” her sister shouted from the back seat.

“It’s already all the way back!” she shouted back, her voice muffled by the ball.

“Tilt the seat!”

Sierra moved slightly, the plastic of the ball squeaking in protest against the dashboard. No go.

“Why don’t you just deflate it a little?” I said between laughs.

Both children looked at me as if I was crazy. Hadn’t we nearly died blowing it up to the absolute perfect level of plumpness?

There was no way… well,… around it. We pulled the plug and let out some of our last gasps - and laughed all the way home, having had a “ball.”

Giant inflatable ball - definitely on my next gift list.

Another Lesson from Lily and Inside Turns

2011-06-25T12:22:00.004-05:00

Taking my lesson from Lily

Today I watched as the trainer took Smokey off for a long trail ride. She really wanted me to go, but there's no way. I'm still rebuilding courage and haven't taken a step off the immediate area around the barn. Sometimes you have to dive into the pool. Sometimes you have to slip in the shallow end and mess around there for a while.

I remember when I was young and nearly drowned in a pool. I got kicked twice in the head by an errant swimmer and started to go down. I was sinking to the bottom, feeling my hair brush against my face like an angel wing. The life guard pulled me up, out of the water, and into the bright light.

After the commotion died down, I sat on the edge of the deep end for a good 20 minutes, then jumped in and swam to the shallow end. I was more careful in the deep end after that, more aware of people around me. But I still swam in deep water, never really worried that what happened would happen again.

I will be there again with trail riding. But right now I'm still in my 20 minute period, I suppose.

------------------------

Lily and I were joined by Sierra and steady Cody for some work in the arena. I'd read this post by Julie Goodnight and wanted to work on my reining - specifically not pulling back when working reins. I quickly realized I wasn't sure how to fix it, but realized the value of figuring it out. I too have the issue of not maintaining a canter after a turn because I'm telling the horse to slow down as I'm telling it to turn. Which is not particularly helpful.

Lily proceeded to give me a different lesson on cantering in a turn. I wanted to work on this because I keep ending up in a corner of the arena during a canter circle with Smokey. I couldn't understand what was going on, and had worked on getting his turns better at the trot. We could do it in the round pen but didn't stay on the rails. Something was wrong with that horse!

Then I was in Lily's nice slow canter when she did the same thing.

Well darn. Apparently it's me. (Again)

So I rode it again and again (breaking it up with some other work so Lily didn't just throw up her hooves and head out for a latte). Then I found it.

I was leaning. Frankly I don't even know if I was leaning left or right. But I wasn't straight. I focused on being straight as a mast on a ship and BOOM. We turned.

We sidepassed just to show I still had it, walked through the cones and stopped with a thought. Enough for one day.

----------

In my post on round penning someone asked how to consistently get inside turns. I think there are two things that help make that happen: Correct body position and demanding it.

I work on the theory that horses know that turning their butt to you is rude. I don't know for a fact that this is true, but I've been told it enough to suspect that it is. So turning inside is like not cussing me out when I ask you to do something.

Body position
While round penning you have to be very aware of your body position. Think of your core, that area around your belly, as a satellite dish. Where you point it is where your energy is most strongly felt by your horse. Your shoulders, arms, legs, they all focus that energy. If you bend slightly, you reduce the pressure of that energy toward the horse. If you keep a very erect stance, you up it. In general you want to point it at your horse's hindquarters, not the shoulder.

It's easy to start watching your horse's face, looking at his ear, his head, his muzzle. But you really need to focus on the hind quarter and push it away from you with your body position. I can turn my horses with just a shift of weight and movement of my shoulders. If they are paying attention. So as long as you are keeping your energy in the right area, you can be sure you aren't causing an outside turn.

Demanding
The second part is just demanding the correct turn and rewarding it when it happens. When my horse gives me an outside turn I get after them like crazy. I raise the whip, make a growl, make face, stomp. It's crystal clear. And we turn again quick. And again. The minute I get the right thing, and inside turn, I dial the energy all the way back.

But some horses who haven't been through the process are going to get it wrong. Some are going to test it. Some are going to over react. Some are going to freak. You have to be fair, clear, and realize that every horse is so different. I don't have the same round penning with Lily that I do with Smokey. Smokey thinks he's going to figure out how to get out of it. Lily is worried that she's going to get it wrong. Those require some adjustments on my part. But the body position and demand stay the same.

By the end, though, there is little question that we've gotten to where we needed to go.

Again, your mileage may vary. And remember, while this is great on the ground it doesn't wholly translate in the saddle (as I am living proof). But it does make for a much safer horse on the ground. And both horses load well and have stellar ground manners.

Worthy ends in and of themselves, IMHO.

Finding Your Nose, Unwinding, and Two Despooking Tips

2011-06-23T15:21:00.005-05:00

I've been working with Lily on various things, mostly just getting her back into regular work. I was stuck with her on side passing.

Lily is highly trained. I know little about her background, but I do know she is trained to have about 7 speeds, neck rein, travel collected, back up straight, and do long division with her tail and a piece of chalk.

So when I couldn't get her to side pass I was shocked. I can get Smokey to side pass. I can get Woody to side pass. I know the signal. So why would Lily go in the opposite direction?

Loren, the horse dentist, was in town, doing follow ups on horses. She was happy to see how well Lily is doing, healthy and in good spirits. I asked her to watch her move to see if she felt she needed any other chiro work.

After a bit of riding I showed her the problem I was having side passing. Loren walked me through some dressage tips. (See anything here familiar, folks?)

To move right:

Don't lean. At all.
Drop your right heel and open that leg all the way to your hip
Drop the right rein, keep the left rein lifted slightly
Apply pressure - or just tighten - the left upper and inner thigh

Boom. Lily crossed over like a tap dancer.

My jaw dropped. I had, in what seems now like how a clown would execute a side pass, been doing this:

To move to the right:

Leaning on my left side, quite exaggeratedly
Applying pressure with my left calf
Incidentally applying pressure with my right upper leg to keep from falling over, therefore "closing" her right shoulder.
Trying to neck rein her over.

After I marveled at my new side passing horse Loren said it. "She's a horse that'll teach you a lot."

It was like suddenly discovering my nose on my face. Maybe I have at least one instructor who I'm already paying. In hay.

------------

Smokey

As for Smokey, here's where I am:

I can't forget what cowboy Dave told me. "I can train a horse, but I can't keep you from unwinding a horse." There's a line that'll stick in your head. This IS what I worry about. I don't know how to get from here to a place where I'm not unwinding. Am I unwinding Smokey? I see other riders and I know my skills are better than they were a year, a month, a week ago. It all builds. With Lily could I do more building? Perhaps this is more about not getting that one element - trail work - in and less about my saddle abilities.

I thought about how Smokey "deserves" a better rider. Then I heard about a horse in a terrible situation, even though they'd been with a great rider. So I wondered about the value of that guilt trip.

I thought that this may be a lesson about an element of me that can "cut and run" too readily and it's a lesson I'm going to keep repeating until I learn it.

I thought that if all this horse and I do is tool around the arena and local trails would that be enough.

Still thinking...

From Ray Hunt (found on this cool blog)

Clinic spectator: "Ray, how did you get such good judgment with a horse?"

RH: "Experience."

Spectator: "How did you get so much experience?"

RH: "Poor judgment."

------------------------

Your Despooking Tips

There are two horses in the barn right now with HUGE plastic bag phobias. They are learning to live with plastic bags in their paddock, tied to fences. But here are the two things I do that the trainer has started to do as well.

1. Plastic bags in the round pen. While having bags in a pen or paddock and just having the horse deal with them is one thing, it's not the same as them having to listen to you while the plastic bag is doing its morphing thing in the wind while you're directing the horse.

I like having a plastic bag tied on the round pen in different places at different heights to teach a horse that they can listen even if there's a scary thing close by. It's made a nice difference with Smokey in the last two weeks.

2. Treats or grain from a plastic bag. You know how dogs will fly into the kitchen if you open their treat jar? Well, even if you don't train with treats, you can use a plastic bag to carry grain and empty it into the bin. Pretty soon the positive association will be there. Remember Pavlov's dog? You can make this work for you, even if you aren't trying for a Nobel Prize.

The Office - Pavlov's dog from Rauno Villberg on Vimeo.

Again, these are ideas. Your mileage may vary.

Also there were some round penning questions in the comments last go round. I'll post some answers (at least in so far as what I do) on my next post.

Limbo - Options and how to round pen the snot out of your horse

2011-06-18T16:53:00.008-05:00

I've been thinking.

But you know that.

I've been thinking that I owe a little to all the people around me - including the commenters here - so much for helping me on the journey. We are in week two of Limbo and I thought I'd share a little of the one thing I really feel I know how to do well.

Round penning.

I've learned, from spending so much time with horses who behave badly, how to round pen a horse back to a solid place. (I think I've also identified something about my short comings in saddle work too, but I'll get to that shortly).

So here, with a million disclaimers including I may not actually know what the hell I'm doing, are my tips on Round Penning.

I enjoy round penning because it's an incredible place to spend with a horse. Everything disappears. The circle is filled with only what you and your horse bring to it. Granted, your horse can't leave, but if you are working at liberty it's really only the force of your energy that makes things happen.

Smokey and I are starting back, a bit, and I've found a few little holes here and there. It is, as it nearly always is, about taking your time.

When we first enter the round pen, I see what horse I have to work with. A few of the mares are in heat and one in particular is quite... slutty about it. So right now Smokey needs to immediately run out the testosterone.

Everybody gets a couple free laps. Sometimes with Lily she just moseys in and has to give all the poop piles a sniff. Sometimes she has to toss some bucks. It's all okay at the start.

When things are where they were with Smokey, I make my requests for turns big. If he doesn't turn on a dime, I *insist* he do so. If he turns with his butt to me, I get equally big.

But I don't get mad. Okay, maybe a little irritated, but I try to keep all my reactions physical, not emotional. Not turning? Then here comes the big mare.

For those who don't know me, the rope NEVER comes in contact with the horse (although I have accidentally hit myself before. Sigh.).

In the beginning I'm only asking for direction. I don't care about gait. I always care about body position, though. I don't want a hip cocked toward me. This is one thing I was never too conscious of but got better about after watching the round penning videos by Chris Irwin.

Once turns are good and sharp, it's time to work on speed. I use the angle of my shoulders and the energy of my body to bring down the canter to a trot and the trot to a walk. If it doesn't work, I step slightly in front of the horse's shoulder. If that doesn't work, then I turn him. And turn him. As Kathleen taught me, it's his job to try different options till he gets it. It's your job to reward the right thing in the right way. Step back. Drop your stance, folding slightly. Almost a bow. Lead mare happy with Smokey-san.

Generally at this point you'll get this. With some horses, less "testy" horses, this is submission. With this horse this is "whew, can we be done?"

It's fake. You still have work to do. Even if there have been some licking and chewing, you need something much more. You discover just how fake the submission is when you try to send the horse back out.

Smokey: Ah, come on. Do I have to?

Lead mare does not negotiate.

I am looking for one thing. And it has to show up in both directions.

Nose nearly to the ground, while moving, no arch to the neck. That is submission.

Now we are done.

Unless... Unless your horse doesn't come to you and follow you around after the whoa. Because some horses learn the "trick." But I've found that if I wait for this moment, then we are where we need to be. We can begin other work, or maybe this is enough for the day. Sometimes it's 5 minutes. Sometimes it's 45 minutes. But when it's done all the way, this horse is willing to go precisely where I point him, at the speed I request, and turn on a dime with a tiny hand gesture.

Again, your mileage may vary. Best videos online for the subtleties of round penning are Chris Irwin's who, unfortunately, has taken them down.

Darn that capitalism. If I find a sneaky way to find them, I'll let you know. He does have a series on riding collected here.

-------------------------

I have come to the conclusion that while I have some identifiable holes in by leadership with Smokey, more of the issue is very tiny holes like a colander. Big stuff doesn't get through, but little stuff does.

At this age, with this horse, I have to be "on" very consistently. And for me, miles and miles is where can it be hard to be on the whole time.

The trail. So I've been taking Smokey bushwhacking. We aren't riding trails. We are riding through cedar trees. Up rocky hills. Around cactus. In and around big rocks. Things that require me to concentrate and him to concentrate. These have been very much bonding rides, they come after he's had a chance to run and work hard in the round pen or the arena. We go further each time, further from the barn, for longer, we're up to 30 minutes. It's been so much fun. We have been very solid in each case.

Donna has agreed to take him on some long miles to get that trail time in.

And I'm continuing to mull.

Next time: Despooking tips.

Limbo - Round Penning the Wild One

2011-06-15T23:04:00.005-05:00

Not sure what's tougher. Horses or politics.

When I got back from DC, having been gone for seven days, I headed to the barn with some trepidation. I wasn't clear how I felt about being at the barn, whether this was part of my life that needed to continue.

But on the trip the one thing I came to realize was that this was not the point where I could quit.

Brief background jog:
About nine years ago I had this idea. (Like many of my ideas, it's become a bit of a pain in the arse. Someone stop me next time I get that look on my face, please.)

I decided we needed a family motto. I heard some guy on the radio talking about his family crest and the family motto that's been in his family for hundreds of years. I thought "how wonderful to have that kind of history, wish I had one."

Then I thought "you know, history starts every day."

So I contemplated for a few months what kind of motto would be the best gift I could give my children and those that would come later. The one I came up with was: Non ti arrende

Never give up.

Back to the present. Given the very real life lesson I was trying to teach my children I couldn't quit at this point, because this would be incredibly defining. I have fallen rock climbing (sustaining a concussion and a broken thumb and one of the most hysterical rescue stories in history), taken a beating while fencing, and each time I've gotten back to the sport and dealt with my reticence. I've faced the fear, swallowed the bile in my throat, and gotten back on the rock (or in fencing, the line). I hate being irrationally afraid of anything (by this I mean where it gets out of proportion, not the reasonable fear of getting injured any reasonable adult has) and the only way not to be is to get back there and get through it.

So I came back determined to ride and work both horses for a month. But when I came back to the barn, Smokey was unrecognizeable. Usually patient for the gate to open to his feeding area, he was tossing his head, snaking about, keeping Lily (who is usually the boss) back. He kept charging back at the mare across the fence. Who the hell was THIS horse?

When I took him out he had zero leading skilz. It was as if he'd never had a round pen session in his life, and this is the horse who has some of the best ground manners around. He was acting as if I didn't exist, being downright dangerous. He pulled loose on the lead line and that was it.

After calling him many, many, inappropriate names, and doing what I could to get his attention (backing and backing until I felt we could cover the 25 yards) I took him to the round pen. We spent 45 minutes there, having one of the hardest round penning sessions I've ever had with a horse. Turns on a dime. After one outside turn I sent a message - there were to be no more of those. Period.

He fixed that, but was still being a jerk.

When he refused to listen to the gaits I was signaling it was time for repeated turns over, over, and over.

By the end he was more compliant that I'd ever seen him. Zero nonsense. Zero dancing around. Zero movement when we were in the wash rack.

No more chasing off Lily. No more charging forward. Hasn't done it since either.

So. There's one thing I can do as a horsewoman.

.............................

I take the comments I've gotten to heart. I appreciate the support, the tough talk, the permission to make the hard choice.

I have since ridden Smokey in the round pen and arena and in the immediate trails. No issues. But, as was pointed out, we all have a line. Maybe Smokey is on the other side of mine. I still have three weeks on my "think it through" process. Where I am now is:

I can work this horse with no issues in an arena and round pen and on familiar trails. I could limit my use of him there until... I don't know, till I can get over it or I can get him over it.
I can step up my discipline to keep him in compliant space, since he needs that.
Barrier: I don't know if I can deliver the miles on the trails that it will take to get him beyond this point.
This horse has potential to be a great trail and endurance partner - but I don't know that I have the time to get him there any time soon. Demanding job and family don't afford me the time.
He is my ideal horse on many levels - temperament, capabilities, breed, color. What happened on the trail stems from youth but also not enough regular trail time. He's a forward horse. He needs a confident rider on a trail that can do some cantering here and there to get some of that energy out. I'm not quite there with him (and certainly less so now).

When I bought Smokey, I was in a different financial situation. I figured I could get training and get him training at various points along the way when I needed it. Now, not so much. That will change at some point, but right now it's a consideration.

The thinking continues.

On another note, Lily is doing fantastic. We have at least two more arena sessions to go, then we'll be working on trails. She is taking a bit (although I'm riding her bitless anyway), lifting her hinds much better and holding them gently much longer. She's even coming up to me in the paddock instead of being evasive. I've catered on her in the round pen with just a thought and slight weight shift and her transitions have gone from bolting to smooth as silk.

So there's that.

Limbo - From Stephanie

2011-06-11T22:31:00.008-05:00

(He was a smart guy, maybe he can figure this stuff out)

I deeply appreciate the thoughtful and caring messages over that last few days. It means more to me than I can say. I swear I want to copy every response and pin it up on my wall. It's been very empowering to have such friends right now, when, frankly, I need them the most.

I want to share my friend with you too.

You remember Stephanie, right? She bought Cibolo, and recently had a serious fall.

She was there when I walked resolutely into the barn with my folder of information on each horse. I was broken hearted, so many of you in the comments have hit it on the head - kicked in the heart.

I was ready to give the paperwork to Donna. I had spent a day throwing out horse magazines, pulling down photos from all over, just looking at them rubbed salt in the wound that only seemed to be growing inside.

I knew I could sell both horses, even in this market. Morgans are rare around here and a buckskin would go fast. Lily has so much training and is now sound. Then it would be a matter of getting rid of everything else. This was where I was, what I was contemplating.

Because I felt that I couldn't keep doing this. I was putting the well being of my family at stake (i'm the bread winner, what if something happened to me?), that I was pouring time down a sink hole, that I had made no progress in my horsemanship after so many years. I was in a cyclone of disappointment in myself. Because I don't blame the horse. It's never the horse.

(Just to be clear, the spook wasn't a pain issue for Smokey. But he is spooking because of how inconsistent I get him out of his comfort zone. That's my theory, anyway. But we've ruled out pain as a cause)

So there I was, ready to walk away from this five year journey. It was this email made me decide to stop and give my mind and heart some time, maybe a month or two, to decide. Thanks to Stephanie for letting me include this in the blog.

Let me start off by talking about myself a little...

Currently, I'm suffering from the worst injury I've ever had, not to mention the worst I've had from a horse. I'd like to explain my confidence like my fractured humerus. The humerus is the second largest bone in your body, and apparently pretty damn hard to break. You're not born with your bones as powerful as they're ever going to be, but you slowly build them up as you grow (is this lame yet?). Much like confidence, self esteem, self worth, etc etc etc. It takes all these years to form, and just a split second for me to break it. I stayed away from the barn for a month. Not just because I was hurting from a broken bone, but because in all the years I've been riding I've never once had a fall this bad. My confidence is akin to my humerus at the moment. Severed, and taking far too long to heal. You can't fall without losing a measure of confidence. And I've taken a pretty major blow to mine. I'm really trying hard not to show any of this because to be honest, I'm pretty embarrassed by it. I'm crazy embarrassed that I lost my seat enough to fall, let alone break a bone. And every single time someone asks "What did you do to your arm?" something deep inside cringes and threatens to not come out of hiding anymore. I want to say something memorable, something fierce...and yet all I have is a cat and a spook.

So I took a month.

And you know what I did during that month? Absolutely nothing. My mood soured, focusing primarily on bad days at work and the ache in my arm. I browsed Craigs List, looking at horses I could never afford that had all the bells and whistles, training up the wazoo. Beautiful horses, all work and no funny business. And I kept thinking to myself...why on earth do I have a horse that would spook so badly? The would spook nearly every time we leave the barn, and go nuts on the trail with other horses. Why do I kid myself, thinking that I can train this horse to be one of those "perfect" horses. Who am I? What skills do I have that makes me any better than a second day rider?

But bones heal. Slowly...but they do. I've got a pretty nice angle to my arm now. Every couple of weeks I look at the x-rays, compare them to the ones before and think to myself "Wow, it WILL actually heal." Just like my confidence. It's pretty fragile right now, and another fall would surely send me to surgery. But what's the point of sitting by and waiting for something that's not going to happen unless I get off my ass?

All those horses I've stared at, drooled over...they started somewhere, too. And I guarantee they weren't perfect.

I feel like you and I are feeling something pretty similar right now. You took a pretty hard hit to your confidence, just like I did. Fortunately for you, there's no lasting physical damage. I'm not going to tell you thinking about giving it all up is a mistake, because that's for you to decide. Sometimes you need a break. But I will tell you to not make ANY sort of decision right away. All I can do is give you advise, and help you to feel sure about whatever decision you make.

I'm not giving up. It's pretty painful right now, and crazy difficult...but getting up there yesterday...I can't even describe it. Some little spark deep inside of me was set to a slow smolder again. It was scary to be up again, but it felt RIGHT. I don't know about you, but even just the smell of my horse makes life a little more bearable. And I forgot about that. I forgot about all the good times Cibolo and I have had together. The rides alone, the little accomplishments, the slow improvements. Those are mine. I did that. And I know you've done it, too. My fall feels like a monster in the room. Huge, scary...and just like the bogey man, that monster is going to grow as big as you allow it to. The more you focus on it, the more stifling the room is going to become until some point it's so enormous that there's no space to move at all. Suffocating, if you will, on the monster itself.

Or you can accept it. And the more and more you think about all the good times, the smaller that fear is going to become. It's always going to be there...and maybe it'll bite you in the ass every now and then...but the sooner you see it for what it is, the sooner it loses power.

Metaphors and analogies aside....Smokey is a wonderful horse. I've watched the two of you since you first started riding him. I can't believe the progress you've made and how much you've grown as a team. I've seen how happy you are with him, and how happy he is to be with you in return. He has a beautiful spirit and energy and is such a character. He never ceases to amuse me. And like one of the blogs you had before, I really think our horses can be a mirror image of ourselves. And he's you, Winter. Just like everyone around you expects you to be a pillar of self reliance, confidence, and perseverance...The same goes for Smokey. But no one can be that strong. This may be getting too in depth...maybe stepping over lines...I don't know. But from what I've seen, everyone around you relies on you. Your family, your work...Everyone expects you to just ooze perfection and wisdom and cool. But no one is that strong. Sooner or later, you need to just kick your heels up and run. Smokey is like this, too. He tries harder than most horses that I've seen. He tries to be perfect...and in that constant attempt at perfection, wears himself so thin that it snaps. Something snaps...and he loses everything. But that's not what makes him. A break down every now and then is pretty common (I do it).

I think before you make any sort of decision...you need to think. Horses, like people, aren't perfect. They have bad days, just like we do. No horse will ever be perfect, just like no human will. Smokey had a bad day, and so did you. And for that, I'm sorry. I wish there were never bad days...I really do. But even those "perfect" horses you can buy for $30,000 will throw a shitty day now and then. I sure as hell don't have a perfect horse. But I love him. I love who we are together...and the good times we have together are just that. Fantastic. We work together as a team...and slowly but surely, I know we'll get better. We may not ever be able to ride in a huge group of horses without dancing and sweating...but I'm going to try. Maybe one day it will all click together..maybe it won't. I don't know. And to be honest, it's still a bit frightening. But I want to do it. And I really hope you'll be there with me because I could really use a friend in all this. I love having someone to share the good and the bad with.

With this email in my heart, and tears in my eyes, I left for a trip to Washington for a week.

When I came back, the horse I found was nearly unrecognizable. It was that interaction that made me realize even more about myself and my journey with horses.

Which I'll explain in my next post.

In Limbo - Broken

2011-06-11T16:31:00.003-05:00

The thing about blogging, at least for me, is that it is a very vulnerable thing. It's my own fault, I've chosen to be very honest about this horse time. I am not the kind of person who can write some sort of Christmas Letter blog where all the stories are about how fabulous the kids are doing without mentioning the daughter in rehab.

Because there are plenty of places where I do write that very thing, all day. It's called WORK. Where the sun is always shining, the birds are tying ribbons in our hair, and things are just getting better all the time, darn it!

I'm even quite good at it. Inspiring some say. But this blog is about being honest, and therefore, about being vulnerable. And not just to whoever reads this. For me the act of putting things into words makes them real in a way that nothing else does. It requires me to examine myself. To embrace what I may not want to embrace. To take in my flaws and weaknesses and realize that they are, indeed, part of me, and are inescapable.

Yet this most recent ... incident...

I just haven't wanted to talk about it. Which is unfair of me, really. The blogs I follow are honest. Are authentic. Are the places where people share the tough times. And while I've bounced around and commented, I swallowed my tongue about my own place in time.

Frankly, I come from a long tradition of suffering in silence. When things go wrong I get in the cave and hide out. It's not particularly healthy and it certainly isn't anything I'm proud of. But if I've been sent to this life to learn a few things, one has got to be to live with the integrity I admire in so many.

Without going into more detail than I can stomach for the moment, let me just share that I had a very scary incident with Smokey. We were on a trail ride with two others and he bolted. Then, crossing a street, he bucked.

I wasn't thrown. I wasn't injured - except where it counts.

I dismounted and my trainer and friend rode him back. She encouraged me to get on her horse, but I was too shaken, too angry. She encouraged me, after a mile of walking, to get back on him.

I couldn't, I wanted nothing to do with him.

Nothing. Not him. Not any horse.

I walked back on a river of anger, fear, humiliation, and sadness for two miles.

I would have kept walking, walking far, far away, but for the email Stephanie sent me.

Which I'll post tomorrow.

Ear Pinning and riding a plan

2011-05-28T23:04:00.005-05:00

Thursday night I caught up on some Julie Goodnight episodes and, as usual, found a few things I could bring to my horse work.

I also watched a rather disturbing episode - did anyone catch the one with the paint that would take off on it's owner? What was distrubing was not the action of the horse taking off but the attitude after the fix.

The formula with Julie Goodnight, for those of you who somehow fill your television hours with something other than horses, is this:

1. Person and Horse presented, problem described.
2. Problem demonstrated with Julie commenting.
3. Julie steps in either with guidance or by doing some hands on schooling with horse, then rider. Generally this involves a bit change (Myler bits is the sponsor, but you do see many horses fussing with the bit).
4. Person practices with horse with Julie's tutelage.
5. Person sent off to practice on their own for a day.
6. Person comes back with problem largely resolved.

In the episode the paint had learned to pull the lunge line away from the owner and take off. Julie showed how to keep the horse's nose into the center to not allow the horse to get any weight in the direction of leaving. While Julie corrected the horse it was alert, ears up and responding. When the owner did this under Julie's lead, it did the same.

But for the first time when the horse came back the second day I didn't like what I saw at all. I swear it looked like the horse was pinning its ears toward the owner. It definitely wasn't running off, but I looked at that paint's head and thought - that horse is going to lunge AT that woman.

But maybe I was reading it wrong. I was just glad it wasn't my horse. I was struck that Julie didn't comment on it, so maybe they weren't really pinned.

(but it darn well looked like it).

Anyway, in another episode Julie talked about the importance of having a plan. Mark talks about the same thing - you have to have a direction, speed, and destination in mind when you're working with a horse.

I had very little time this morning, so I decided I'd work with Lily only, and on three specific things - figure 8, arena cantering, and giving me her hind feet, something we are getting unstuck. Given that I was rushed, I had to stop myself from going into monkey brain (thinking a million things at once) and clear my mind of the clock anxiety. I set an alarm on my phone (on a song, no barking dogs this time) so I wouldn't keep checking the time and set to work.

Since I've ridden Lily in just the halter and just in the round pen and simple trails, it's been enough. But in the arena the steering needed more precision. But I wasn't going to bit her up - I didn't have the time to make sure it went well. Instead I decided to ride more with my legs. Lily is pretty responsive to leg cues, but I'm not as consistent as I need to be. Today I'd practice doing better.

At first I wasn't sure it would work. Moving into the arena brings out a little of what Julie called "barrel attitude" in Lily. She's raced barrels and she definitely gets a little hot in an arena setting, even one as low key as ours. But we know what to expect from one another. I can feel her trust in me growing. She seems to understand that I'm not going to ask her anything she can't do, although I think some of my cue - in particular the one for side passing - must be different from her previous life. Or she never really learned it well.

It's on our list.

More tomorrow, it got late on me. Hope you've ridden all over tar-nation this week.

Off Topic - Crib Notes - Movie Night in Peril!

2011-05-24T18:48:00.000-05:00

This is next in our Netflix rotation. A true sign of desperate times.

Friday movie night is in big trouble.

With an eight year old, a twelve year old, and a pair of late 40 somethings, it’s getting pretty challenging to find a movie we can all endure… er, enjoy.

As far as Hollywood is concerned, we are somewhere between Stuart Little and the Lovely Bones. It’s vast movie wasteland, populated by Home Alone and a few classics, like the Sound of Music. And after a while, the hills are not so alive with the sound of music.

It’s not just the age difference either. It’s tough to find a movie with some action for Dad, nothing too scary for third grader Mireya, some innocent romance for tweenager Sierra, and some caliber of production quality for me. As in dialogue that has multi-syllable words.

We are the ultimate tough room.

Movie night is a tradition we started some years ago and our resident traditionalist, Mireya, insists it take place so matter what the circumstances. There were many times we had “Rerun Movie night” since not every week delivers something worth watching.

Now that we are in the Bermuda triangle of family movie watching, I’m considering a replacement for movie night. Among the options are:

Family Game Night – We have tried this before, but due to wildly different interpretations of the concept of “rules” I hesitate to try again. Marriage is fragile enough without having to google the rules for collecting $200 in bookopoly. And here too the age and interest differences don’t help. There is no middle ground between Pretty Pretty Princess and Black Jack.

Craft Night - Once a craft queen, I considered reviving our crafty ways. But given that I have a house filled with flower pens, dioramas, and dried out clay sculptures of... something, I don’t think I can find the shelving for the results. Of course, if we focused our efforts on paper mache we might open up a miniature pinata shop this summer.

Cooking Night - We’ve entered a stage with Mireya that I recognize from years with her older sister - she is unwilling to eat anything outside three favorite items. But there’s no such thing as a skinny chef! Maybe we could explore new worlds of food! We could watch the food network and cook just one thing that wasn’t chicken!

Fortunately the days are getting longer, the weather nice and warm, the canker worms have left the trees to become moths. Maybe we can just sit outside on Fridays and roast hot dogs (those are one of the three favorite foods), sing songs, and count stars.

Maybe the ultimate solution to a tough room is getting out of it.

Sharing Horse Time and the Horse Boy

2011-05-22T20:01:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I had an opportunity to meet some women who are working with the Horse Boy Foundation. The Foundation is based close to here and I once spoke with them on the phone about helping out.

A friend who knows the people working with the foundation thought I could be helpful in some way. I have an extensive background working with not profits - serving on boards, connecting people with corporate partners, helping them get through a strategic planning process.

But when I called, it was clear I couldn't help much. They were headed in a direction that I couldn't be much help with - primarily raising money through events.

I'm not too keen on raising money that way, costs are high, return is limited. While every not for profit should have some events on its fund raising calendar, it's neither my bailiwick nor the core of most programs.

But not for profits built on celebrity often function so differently that I have difficulty knowing where my skills and experience can be of much help. There are very successful models - Lance Armstrong comes to mind - and others that flash and die. I hope this isn't the latter.

What was fascinating about the group I met was that they are all dressage riders (with one exception). In other words, they can RIDE. To be able to use the method they suggest, one has to be able to ride a collected canter while holding a child in front of you.

So I watched the movie (it's on Hulu now). It was a good reminder of how horses heal. I have some experience with the shamanic path, given the work my father does in this area. In my mind the combination is critical, but finding a reindeer riding shaman is perhaps beyond what can be done in Elgin, Texas.

They invited me to train to be a therapist, but I'm not nearly the rider I'd need to be, nor do I have the time. facilities, or the horse to truly give what is needed to provide therapy services. I think there's a way for me to help, and perhaps the how will become clear to me.

-----------------

My friend from work came out to ride today. I don't usually invite people out to ride, but if they ask, I follow through. I remember how desperate I was to ride, but how out of my life horses were. Still, I'm careful. Generally you can pick out the folks who just want to canter your horses to pieces, then go have a beer while you unsaddle them. My BIL is this kind of guy. M just loves animals and wants to be with horses.

We had a lovely ride, I rode both Smokey and Lily in turn while she was on Cody. Lily is still too demanding for a beginner. In fact, I jumped on Smokey without any round penning and just rode his willies out, but Lily was too full of herself for that. After 3 minutes in the round pen she was ready.

It's taking less and less time. But it still takes time. Horses like Lily don't do short cuts.

We talked, M and I, about life challenges she is facing. I remembered how difficult life has been for us and the rocky road we continue to navigate, and shared with her so she'd know that she's not alone. Yet I am more and more in a place of treasuring what I have. Of finding joy in very small things.

Spraying water on my horse's jaw, gently so she closes her eyes.
Putting fly repellent around the old horse's eyes and hearing him sigh as if he knows what it's for.
Rubbing the side of my horse's muzzle under his fly mask and feeling him drop into my hands, relaxed.

I come home and the treasures are scattered all around me, and embarrassment of riches - laughing children, a dog with a new trick, a sauntering cat, DH piling up the kids for a few hours of pool time.

I'm glad to be still here, struggling as we are, finally having the good sense to see the treasure and not just the hole.

Welcome to the day after the cancellation of rapture. May they all be this lovely.

Lily update, lovely canter

2011-05-21T17:01:00.002-05:00

I've been working with Lily regularly, bringing her back to a place of confidence. Today started out with Lily giving me a little bit of a stink eye. Not a lot, just enough that I opted to adjust my energy slightly. There's a sternness line I have to find with Lily in moments like that. She needs a level of seriousness, no nonsense energy. Proof that I'm serious.

It takes just a moment. And it's crazy subtle. I often over deliver and have to dial back.

I saddled both horses and headed to the round pen. Lily did well, although I admit I'm not trying to bit her at all. I rode her and the nerves shed been showing during the start of our last session were gone. Riding her without a bit is amazing. She's so sensitive to my legs and a tiny touch on the reins. In a moment we were cantering with just a kiss, collected and sweet around the round pen. Then off for a trail ride on our own. There a slight bit of her nerves were back. But not bad. Not bad at all.

Then Smokey and I set to work and had one of our best sessions yet. Last night I'd been thinking that maybe I should (if I had the money, which I don't) send him to a trainer for finishing. Riding Lily reminds me of how wonderful it is to have a horse that's so responsive.

Then Smokey was absolutely like butter today. Easy canter. Almost perfect circles. Great on the trail. Cantered up hill.

If it is the end of the world, then I can feel good about my last day before the big R. If tomorrow comes, then I'm on a good road.

The Only Way to Learn

2011-05-19T18:46:00.004-05:00

The second in an occasional series of ramblings about the unexpected things I learned from horses.

From the upcoming movie BUCK (about Buck Buchanan)

"All your horses are a mirror to your soul; and sometimes, you might not like what you see in the mirror. You can't hold it against him for how his life has been. Maybe there are some things for you to learn about you; and, maybe the horse is going to be the only damn way you're gonna learn it."

It's frightening how true this is for me in my journey with horses. I remember a moment, a dark one on my horse journey, where I wondered if I would be like a blogger I'd read. A woman blogger (who is no longer blogging, and hasn't for a few years) had clearly decided not to ride any more. She never said it, but her posts went from confronting her fears to brushing and grooming - and never, ever riding.

I saw myself there, not sure if I was going to make it across the chasm where fear silently grabbed at my throat. I could see the other side of the chasm, but there was no bridge to get there. I could see the other side, a place where people were riding with a certain level of confidence, not of ignorance (I'm young and immortal!) not years of experience (Off to Rolex!), but who somehow made it. They had once been on this side where I stood and yet managed to leap across.

It was terribly wide and the bottom so distant, I couldn't bear to think of the fall. Again and again I rode up to the chasm, on two different horses. Again and again I backed away, burying my face in my hands. I simply could not jump.

The horses I was with told me this. That until I could jump, leap into the air, I simply could not provide what they needed.

I had to face something I never wanted to speak out loud. Leadership isn't getting a horse to do inside turns in a round pen. It isn't having them stop behind you when you stop walking. It isn't having them lift their hooves as requested.

Those are actions. They can grow out of leadership, be learned through leadership, but they can also be tricks.

Leadership is locked inside us. It's not an action. It's not a stance. It's not rote behavior. It's some strange combination of energy, attitude, and soul that is only unmistakable when you finally feel it.

But no one really wants to tell you that it's not all these physical things, these things you can fake, especially when you are on the fear side of the chasm. Because then you'll know how impossibly big the leap is. Because it has to be REAL.

And on that cliff you know exactly how far from REAL you are. The danger is that you'll realize this, shudder, unhook your lead rope and walk away. Forever.

For so many reasons, we want everyone to jump, to land safely on the other side.

Getting through my fear, leaping my chasm and becoming this person, what I think of as a more fully realized version of myself, has been one of the most important things I've accomplished in my life. Everything else spills out from this, and I face every challenge before me slightly differently because of this place I am with my horses.

But you know what's funny? I don't even know why I jumped. Why I didn't just groom and brush my lovely horses, and be satisfied with that.

But I do know I am on the other side.

Off Topic - Crib Notes - Schools of Parenting

2011-05-17T18:45:00.000-05:00

News flash: I'll be putting together a collection of crib notes as an e-book and am looking for a review or two. If you're up to it, drop me a line. In the meantime, here's what's going on in our end of things...

Schools of Parenting

We walk a fine line in parenting between two schools of thought. One is the if-you-leave-them-alone-they-will-work-it-out. The other is the sometimes-you-have-to-kick-them-in-the-you-know-what.

To the outside observer I’m sure it looks like we’re vacillating wildly from one school to the other. To those of us on the inside, it feels the same way, only with whiplash.

For example, let’s take the chore of loading and emptying the dishwasher. At first I was fairly certain that unloading the dishwasher was a task that could happen with little to no supervision. After all our children have lived here for their entire lives. Surely they have noticed where the bowls, spatula, and various eating utensils are stored.

Little did I know that everything that takes place in the kitchen is actually completely invisible. Apparently food merely floats out of the cabinets and lands on the table, completely prepared, distributed by fairies who have nothing better to do than spend three hours looking for the measuring cup!

But I digress.

After a few weeks of utensil chaos, I realized it was time to get the other school of thought in gear and we had kitchen boot camp. By the end of it, every plastic storage container had a lid. We had spoons again. All the cartoon glasses were back on their shelf.

The problem with the kick-in-the-you-know-what school is that while it delivers results, it is exhausting to maintain. It’s the kind of school of thought that does not tolerate any slacking off. Nor does it handle a healthy sense of humor well.

Which is why I have no hope of ever maintaining the necessary discipline around here. Pretty soon the kitchen fairies are back to rescuing the measuring spoons from the regular spoons, and the bowls are a leaning tower of mismatched soup, popcorn, and salad bowls.

Then again, the let-them-figure-it-out school has produced all the best memories in our house.

Like the time I let Sierra figure out how to use her new paint set and came back to find her with a completely blue arm.

And the time I suggested Mireya amuse herself and when I came back she’d set up an elaborate western scene, complete with horses, cows, Indians on boxes (clearly planning an ambush), and unsuspecting cowboys in round up position. This authentic western scene came from the princess in her Disney heels.

So I guess we’ll keep both schools up and running. That way I can both find the steak knives and, periodically, bits of wonder.

Lily is Home

2011-05-15T20:21:00.003-05:00

Lily made it through four days of camp and wrote desperate letters home filled with the usual camp stories:

Day one:
"I can't believe you sent me here! It's scary! I want to go home! They made me run and run and run until I was a sweaty mess! Don't you love me?"

Day two:
"OMG, this mare over here is a total witch (I'm being polite, but you KNOW what I REALLY mean). She has chased me all over. Like I want anything to do with her gnarly herd anyway. I think you should come and get me. I'll be by the back paddock with my halter on. "

Day three:
"It is so boooring here. Do you know what I had to do today? STAND. In one place. Thought I was going to go crazy. Plus the other mare STILL hates me. I don't know what kind of "training" you think I'm getting, but let me tell you, it ain't happening."

Day four:
"If he wanted me to bend my neck, all he had to do was get a cookie. Seriously. Did you not leave any instructions? More running in circles. I didn't have to run quite so fast. And we did a little riding around. Mom, I promise, if I come home I'll be real, real good. Just break me out of this joint!"

So, I went and picked her up. (for the rest of the story, see trail rider's blog).

She hopped in the trailer and calmly stood there for me to close the door. I swear she exhaled in the trailer and gave a huge sigh.

When she arrived back at our barn, she was greeted with a chorus of whinneys.

The next day I made sure to follow up on the start that TR had worked through. Remarkably her round pen skills were much better - she was moving off a gesture from me, no racing around at all, complete control of all gates. Of course she and I know our signals very well, she knows what to expect. There's no whoa from the ground, but that's typical of this stage of her refresher course. I'll get the whoa in another week. We rode around and she was as smooth as glass and I kissed her up to a nice, calm canter in the round pen. She stopped on a dime. Lovely, Lily. Lovely.

I worked Smokey and it was so funny. All of a sudden all the power steering I had with Lily in the halter was gone with Smokey. She's so much more finished, he still needs that smoothing out. Then Smokey and I ponied Lily around the drive way for practice. I wanted her to get out and about a bit and wanted to see how it would go.

You know, you really need a horse that can neck rein before you go around ponying. Just saying.

Fortunately all wrecks were avoided, even when a huge beetle flew down the front of my shirt and had us all in a tangle while I tried not to scream.

Then Lily got a nice long bath and was giving me that feel. That coming back to herself feel.

Welcome home Lily. You'll be back in riding shape in two weeks. Then we'll get busy. :)

Lily Goes to TR Camp

2011-05-09T21:00:00.003-05:00

Lily, sweet mare.

Over the last year, Lily has been ridden less and less. Initially it was soundness issues. Then it was her mouth. Then it was soundness issues. Then she became less predictable. Jumpy. Insecure.

Our steady eddie horse has become a mess.

Another factor is her paddock. She's a leader over Smokey and Pepe the donkey. Thing is that Lily is never the leader. She's low man in every herd she's been in since I've known her. I don't think there's anything that will make you more nervous than to be thrust into a position of authority when you don't really have it in you.

This post by Mugwump sums up the issue with Lily completely (it's a terrific post - get over there and read it!). I stopped expecting anything from her, basically abandoned her as I focused on Smokey.

It was reasonable in some ways. She wasn't sound. I wanted her in a safe herd. She needed to recover. I should have spent more time with her doing other things, but she was pretty grouchy and not so thrilled to be messed with.

Early riding days. Love her socks. Knee highs. :)

Pain does that.

But now she's better. The MSM is working, the Adequan is working. No more lameness. Her coat is shiny again, a sign of better health. Unfortunately time off and MSM did nothing for her sense of security. At first it was just jumpiness. Then it was the unwillingness to take the bit, gritting her teeth.

Frankly she's around a corner and it feels like very, very far away from who I know she is.

On Saturday I rode her out, determined to start her back to work. To get her back on the right road. She was jumpy as a kitten. Her eyes were wide. She looked green.

We are going to take it slow, mare. It'll be fine.

She would have scoffed if she could have inhaled.

I thought of her like a person who has been out of work for a long period of time who comes in to do a relatively simple job. They are nervous - they need this job, but at the same time they are so worried about making a mistake.

"Is that the copier? I've never seen one like that. Do they use a code? I can't remember. Who is that in that room and what's with the stink eye? This is my desk? Should I ask where the supplies are? What does this acronym mean? How can I spell check if I don't even know what they're talking about?"

They wander around in a dazed state, looking for familiar things, hoping someone, anyone, will help.

Lily - previously spookfree

So I kept it simple. A simple circle from the barn and back. Maybe 20 yards. I felt like she was literally trembling underneath me. I oozed calm. I wanted to be a salve on her nerves. At ten feet she tried to turn. I turned her back. She stopped. I ever so gently urged her forward. She was reacting to everything in a huge way. I focused on being still. Firm. Confident.

We made our first circle.

We duplicated it exactly. After the third time we went an extra 5 yards, slowly spiraling out. I expected her to hold her head in the right place and to go where I directed at a walk. At the end of each circle she calmed down. Her breathing slowed. Her eyes softened.

We came back to the barn when she was in as quiet a space as I'd seen her in a long time. When we tied up in the barn aisle she was different and I saw a glimpse of the old Lily.

Steady.

Unfortunately I don't have the time it takes to bring her back all the way. Full time job with significant amounts of drama going on these days plus kids, plus hubby, plus, plus, plus. Smokey takes up all of the little time I do have.

Fortunately I have a good friend. Lily's off to camp with TR who is looking for a new training challenge. He's always liked Lily's speed and ultra smooth trot. I hope he can restore her to her former confidence.

After that, I don't know. Lily has intimidated Sierra with her speed. Sierra has latched onto Cody instead and rides so little it's hardly worth having another horse. Maybe I need to consider finding her a home with a western pleasure/ gymkana rider. Maybe I have to keep her ridden so I have a horse for friends when they want to ride. Maybe I can realize other dreams in time and Lily can work into those...

Right now I'm just grateful TR will be helping her come back around. The right situation will present itself, and I'll know better what the right thing to do is.

The right thing for Lily.

Does this saddle make my butt look big?

2011-05-07T17:02:00.006-05:00

I was talking to my friend, who is not horsey, about my saddle.

You know someone is a real friend when you can bore them with the details of your saddle and they will actually feign interest! Her hilarious blog is over here, by the way...

I was saying that my new saddle, which is a 15 instead of a 15.5 like my old one, fits now, but I'm currently in my skinny/fit stage. I gain one pound and its all over. The first place every excess ounce heads is my... hindquarters.

She was fascinated that saddles were sized to butts this way, and I proceeded to ramble on about how you can try to size your saddle based on height and weight, that there are charts you can use. I prefer the jeans size method since I figure that's a more accurate measure of my ...hind quarters. 'Cept for wranglers. I can't fit in any size wrangler, since have no waist.

But the problem with my hindquarters is that they are somewhat unstable, if you know what I mean. So I need the yoga pant equivalent in saddles -- elastic cantle and Cheyenne roll, some thing that can stretch to accommodate the occasional chips and salsa binge.

Maybe a woman really needs to have a fat saddle for that one week a month. Or that two month period where all food triples in calorie size. (mmm. egg nog...)

The new saddle (which currently fits my on the lite side butt and is perfect on Smokey's back) is a challenge in another way. I'm sitting in a completely different way. Many endurance saddles have this kind of seat, sort of flat on the horse. I always had barrel saddles which put you nice and deep. I'm getting the hang of it at the walk and trot.

The canter, notsomuch.

My big horn barrel saddle that I will never get rid of.
Fits Lily fine and most QHs... I don't use this saddle pad
with it. Must have been the only one handy...

My Tennessean that fit Cibolo perfectly
and may have fit Smokey. Sold during Rashid Clinic.
Cuz I'm smart that way.

So how about it, endurance riders? What's up with the flat seat anyway? Why is it better on long rides? There must be a reason - endurance riders are the least worried about show and all about go...

Peace and horses

2011-05-01T19:55:00.004-05:00

There is something peaceful
about being with my horse.

It would be a whole lot more peaceful if you
were less obsessed with bathing me.

Really, Smokey, I think
obsessed is a little strong.

It's totally accurate.
Besides, sweat is good.
Sweat creates armor.

Armor? Sweat armor?

Besides, babies get washed all the time.
I'm growed up. I don't need baths.

Look, hon, the manure cologne is just not doing it for me.
Besides, you just turned gold again. I want to see it
shine.

I like my dark phase.
Adds to the mystery.

If only it didn't add to the flies.

Hmm. Well, there is that.

Lucky for you I have to work this week.
I won't be within a mile of the hose.

Woo hoo!

Can I get back to my point now?

Absolutely. By all means.

Thanks.

A sense of peace washes over me when...

Again with the washing!

It's. a. metaphor.

It's. a. noy. ying.

G'night, you goof ball.

Don't forget to toss me some alfalfa.
Clean horses get alfalfa, I was told.

Our new saddle

2011-04-30T18:31:00.004-05:00

Work has been a little intense, but that gave me time to wait for this to arrive.

This is the best deal I've ever gotten on a saddle and I have to say I really just spoke out loud - I need a gaited saddle, name brand, for about $500.

Meet my Circle Y, gaited trail gaiter, used 6 times. $560 (that $60 was for shipping). Found it on Horseclicks, which was a new classifieds for me.

Thank you, Universe!!

First day try out (for all of 15 minutes, had to get home): Very cushy seat, fit the horse, fit the butt. :) I will see how the flex tree works out. We have another flex tree saddle, also a circle y, park and trail model for Lily that has worked very well.

Hopefully riding is on the schedule tomorrow.

What we are doing today

2011-04-24T15:08:00.000-05:00

We are in the ring for Dog Agility today. You can see Roxie's practice runs on her blog here:

http://blogbyadogsierra.blogspot.com/

Wish us luck!

Smokey's Report

2011-04-23T19:57:00.003-05:00

Dictated by Smokey Mountain, Buckskin Morgan.

Hi everybody.

It's been a while so I thought I'd give you a report on how things are going around here. Lily is not nearly as grouchy anymore, which is a big relief. She says I'm minding my manners better, but I think it's because she had to do all these exercises and she can make that scrunchy face at mom instead of me.

The best news is that I don't have to bite the saddle anymore. Mom figured out it wasn't fitting my massive shoulders.

See, now that I'm all growed up, I am really massive. Even the Momma mare is talking to me now. That's what happens when you get massive. Even the really tall mares notice.

Um, er....

Don't tell Lily. Okay?

So anyway, we've been going out on the trail a bunch. We even went deep in the trees and I finally got a good sniff of the black plastic tub that is on the other side of the biting ropes. It turns out it was just a tub. And all this time I thought it was a big hidy hole for the mountain lions.

Well, it was possible. You know, they have to hide somewhere.

But I don't worry anymore because I sniffed it. And I'm really massive. So I could smush a lion. If I had to.

And the good news, I finally trained Mom to stay in the middle of me so I can make the circle at the canter. She likes me to canter up the hill which is way hard. So I *suggest* we turn off early.

But then we have to keep doing it, so I guess she doesn't like my suggestion.

There is one strange thing happening. There are these weird bugs out. They are only around when I count. Here's how it goes. I'll be at the trailer tied up and I'll just be, you know, counting with my hoof (I can get up to five), then POP, there's a bite on my butt! A little tiny one, but then I lose count. So I decide to stop counting. That's what Cody said to do. And the little bites go away.

It's weird. Cody knows this stuff cuz he is ANCIENT. He says I need to relax more. I say he needs to relax less. HA!

So I'm going to ask for extra fly spray. A guy has to do something when he's tied at the trailer. Those biting bugs are very distracting.

Hope everyone is keeping their riders on board and the alfalfa is flowing. See you on the trail!

Smokey

Lily and the Bit

2011-04-20T22:33:00.001-05:00

Just a quick update on the bit drama.

When last we saw our Paddock Princess, she was quite surprised to be ridden without a bit. She behaved flawlessly riding in a rope halter and I never even bothered trying to get the bit in.

The point was "we are riding. bit or no bit."

Apparently she got the message.

In our effort to get Lily out more, I've been searching for an additional rider to get some time on her. Donna, who had had the bitting problem with her initially and brought it to my attention, had a more advanced student who was ready to move on to a more challenging horse. We agreed this particular student (who rides well and has soft hands) could ride her.

Today Donna brought Lily out of her paddock and Lily bitted right up.

Horses. I swear, some days it's like dealing with a 1000 pound toddler.

Riding without a bit and pictures from the trail

2011-04-18T20:38:00.002-05:00

Today I decided it was time to start introducing Lily to the concept of work. The Paddock Princess, I decided, simply was exploring her options. I didn't want to go through a bunch of bit drama, didn't really have time, but after considering the options I thought I'd just ride her in the halter.

Basically have a positive ride, let her get out and realize that bit or no bit, work goes on.

I had ridden Smokey earlier in the day and got a rare second trip back to the barn. We saddled up - Lily is very cinchy and oddly, kept running into my elbow. After the second one of those, I petted her like mad, as if I was completely misinterpreting her intention. She got disgusted and stopped pinning and giving me the look.

I put the reins over her saddle and led her to the round pen to see how we were doing. Minor issues while leading - too close, not stopping crisply. We worked through it. In the round pen it was all but one inside turn. Good. I didn't canter her, because it was ridiculously hot. I wanted to keep the energy low and she didn't seem to have any nonsense she needed to work out.

Then I clipped the reins on the halter and got on. I wish I had a picture of the look on her face. She looked so surprised.

She was ultra sensitive to leg pressure and neck reined like a champ. It was like driving a car with new brakes and power steering. We practiced stopping, since the halter is not the best with her brakes, but it was all good. So, cautiously optimistic, we hit the trail with Sierra. Other than one brief "I think I'll go back to the barn now" she did very well. She settled in after 10 minutes. The tenseness in her muzzle was gone.

I still sensed attitude, but it was back down to a 5 or 4 level. When I rinsed her off and fed her, she was compliant. And when I tossed on some fly spray she didn't act as if I was possessed or something (she's been quite the drama queen lately).

So the good news is I think we are getting the old Lily back. Of course I didn't bit her, but my goal today was to show her that wasn't a way to get out of riding. I also didn't have the time to do it right, so there was little point to doing it at all. Instead, I wanted us to have a good ride, end on a positive note.

And we did. Good enough.

------------------

On another note, here are some cool pictures from the trail ride - my favorite one of me and Smokey is here, the one with his brother is here. Here's a great one of Cloud, aka "the horse that will not load in that tiny trailer."

There are so many good ones, Debbie does a great job - she took all of these from horseback! I'll be ordering at least two...

More on Bitting and Picture Palooza

2011-04-16T23:04:00.003-05:00

I appreciate the feed back on bitting Miss Lily.

Everyone raised very valid points. Here's a few thoughts.

She probably doesn't want metal in her mouth (although she has had it for 16 years, so one has to wonder why now).

She definitely needs more consistent ground work, but what's a little weird is that we have been working more not less, so that this would come up now seems odd.

I have my suspicions about an emotional reason that's possible, but I may be projecting, so I'm going to mull that over a bit before trotting it out here.

The axis was an interesting suggestion - we have begun carrot stretches and they are very hard for her. I wonder if in one of those stretches she made herself sore, or out of whack. That really feels like a possibility.

I'm going to ride her tomorrow in the halter, she can definitely go bitless, but her brakes are not that great. Lots of go in that girl.

I'm also going to do some bit sweetening just to get it in to see how it sits in her mouth. Lily is a bit of a princess, and can become very stubborn given too much time off. So I can go back to square one. But if she's not going to be ridden, I'm not sure what to do with her. The not riding is definitely making her unhappy.

Fortunately the MSM seems to be helping too. When I was working her in my attempt to get an attitude adjustment, she was sound. So there's one bit of good news (pun intended).

---------------------

Sierra and I had a terrific trail ride Saturday morning. I can't get over how far Smokey and I have come. We worked our circle under the power pole with no problem, we hit all the odd spots in the trail, came down hill in control, not in a "OMG, I'm Gonna Trot And Get This Over With" and we went across the ditch repeatedly without jumping it as if we were on some hunter jumper course.

It was like I was riding a grown up horse or something.

Sierra rode Cody, giving him her signature forelock look.

And since Smokey has shed out I thought it would be fun to do some shots - cuz the buckskin is back!

Smokey: Do I have to stand here?

Me: Just for a minute.

Smokey: Okay, but my nose itches.

Me: *skritch, skritch*

Smokey: I think we're suppose to be smiling at her.

Me: Oh, that's right.

*grin*

And a hug for the photographer!

Bit drama

2011-04-16T08:21:00.002-05:00

Lily has decided she won't take her bit. This is somewhat out of nowhere, she's been floated, and she's doing better with her shoulder.

But she refuses to take the bit. I think this stems from how little work she's getting which is a bigger problem we will have to deal with.

No giraffe head, she's just gritting her teeth and no amount of tongue rubbing is working. I worked the snot out of her and got it in after, but it's not pretty.

What techniques have you used?

Storm Ranch Ride, Part three: Miracle #2

2011-04-12T16:59:00.000-05:00

When I think of it now, when I look at those pictures of how close we came to the trees, I can't believe we actually just saddled up our horses and rode. I'd love to say we're just that tough, but I think it was more from a sense of obligation. Everyone had been kind enough to wait for us to arrive, then kind enough to wait for our rescue. It would have been darn right rude to sit it the truck and worry about the trailer drive home.

So we rode.

Did I mention the wind?

Of course not. I was distracted in the last post.

It was very windy. That gusty "blow in the predators" kind of wind. As a result, the first three miles were what you'd expect. Some calm veteran trail horses, many "up" horses, a few circlers (I was glad not to be the only one). The ride was designed to stay in the trees a good bit and avoid the wide open plains and real wind blasts. By mile three, and with some instruction from Donna, I got Smokey to finally rate (which was my goal) and got to stop most of our circling (which I had been accidentally training him to do instead of slowing down). By mile five he'd settled down enough that I could have some conversations.

He was definitely one of the greenest horses out there and benefited greatly from the company of the mule - a lovely mare with jack rabbit like ears, long and slender, and that of a light sorrel 30 year old who, in addition to her rider, carried a small "doggie bag" with a live dog right in it. Jenny was some sort of terrier who did the cutest back samba/grass scratching when she was out of her bag.

There were also several horses that took a rather strong dislike to Smokey, and we figured out quickly who to avoid, fortunately without incident. There were two horse-on-horse near misses, but that was it.

My eye was drawn to a beautiful dun, with a quiet woman on the reins. The horse was compact, with a lovely arching neck, and I rode up to meet the woman riding him, M. I was pleasantly surprised, or rather, shocked, to learn that her horse was a Morgan.

I've been riding out in this area for years now, been at three boarding facilities and countless events. Smokey is the only Morgan I've come across. Now we were two!

Smokey and his fellow Morgan, Kee, got along famously. Many times I got the impression they were passing notes, they'd touch noses as we walked. Smokey was no doubt asking if we were seriously going to walk the whole way, Kee, the more philosophical, responding that yes, this was a walking kind of ride.

Kee's rider, M, pointed out Erin (who was one of our rescuers) on a palomino. "See my daughter? She's riding a Morgan too."

Three? Three Morgans in a sea of QH and TWH? Amazing!

Then it got really really wild.

At our first water stop I pulled up next to M and Kee and asked how Kee got his name.

"He's from the only line of Dun Morgans," she said. She named his sire, someone with Kee in his name.

I was pretty excited to know who was the sire of Smokey. "Smokey is out of Mountain man," I said.

She leaned forward. "Did you say Mountain man?"

"Yes," I said, wondering suddenly if Mountain man was either famous or notorious, possibly for being impossible to rate down without whirling like a tornado.

She smiled and pointed to Erin and her horse again. "That palomino, my daughter's horse, he's out of Mountain man!"

"You're kidding!" I said, looking again.

Yep. We actually met Smokey's "brotha from anotha motha."

No kidding.

She named the palomino's momma. And here are both Smokey and Sun's (his older brother's name) moms - Rochaven Faith (Smokey's) and Daisy Doll (Sun's).

When we stopped for lunch, we brought the brother's together. Sun, like Smokey, is very "forward" and Erin had spent much of the ride taking him off to the side to ride up and down, let him get into a trot and stretch out. I'd done that too, but my main goal with this ride was to rate my horse.

They stood next to each other, and touched noses. Debbie, our friend who was on the ride, took much better photos, and I hope to get one here in the next few day. For now, you'll have to be satisfied with these iphone pictures.

Look at those faces! Don't they look related?

Sun: Just remember, I get the alfalfa, since I'm older.

Smokey: Not a chance, dude.

We enjoyed a quiet lunch under the cedars, hanging with our new found family. I wondered at the miracle of this. I was used to meeting dozens of Quarter horses with Doc Bar, or Lena. Those guys got around. But to meet TWO other Morgans and Smokey's BROTHER no less?

On the final mile, Smokey (as well as several of the horses) got pretty excited and Smokey and I had a little pitching going on. It was odd, but I found a tiny little sore when I washed him off at home. I wondered it that just broke open at that point, because it was a bit out of nowhere. Or maybe it was just "let me run to the trailer" kind of moment. Either way we worked through it and settled back down. We ended the ride safe and sound.

Debbie and Barbara (the farrier) followed us home to make sure we made it safely. The trailer guy is coming to check out the rig, Smokey had some trailer practice the next day, and I sit here in wonder of it all.

Grateful for the angels that pushed that trailer away from those trees and let it glide to a slow stop in the dirt.

Grateful for the angels that helped us get it back on the truck so we could get home.

Grateful for the accident happening in that exact spot, where there was no traffic, no highway, no huge ditch, possibly the safest way you could have your trailer come loose.

Grateful for horses that stayed relatively sane, pretty much model citizens for 80% of the time, and just goobers for 20%.

I've been given a chance to learn these lessons the easy way:

Don't rush, just be late.
Carry a big friggin' jack.
And make sure you ride, despite the obstacles. Because you never know when you'll meet family along the way.

Storm Ranch Ride, Part two: Miracle #1

2011-04-11T21:44:00.000-05:00

I have been the recipient of some fairly significant miracles in my life, the biggest was when my daughter's second heart intervention (the first was a surgery, the other was a procedure to widen a valve) went from failure to virtually total cure with nothing other than time and serious prayer.

This was another significant miracle.

When I heard the sound at the cattle guard, that was most likely the point at which the trailer had leapt free of the ball, but was still on the hitch or chains. The next sound was it hitting the ground and scrapping along the asphalt. When we went back to look there were twenty yards of scratch marks in the asphalt, long thin white lines in the gray ribbon of the road, looking like claw marks.

The trailer brake never engaged because the chains themselves did not break and Donna, just like I do, places the emergency brake cable on the last part of the chain, where the hooks attach onto the frame of the truck.

I will never do that again. From now on that thing goes right on the ball.

Because the massive weight of the trailer stretched out the hook of the chain, and the hook slipped out of the holds like a wire clothes hanger that has been reshaped to unlock a car door.

The trailer plowed toward the side of the road, building of speed because of the ever so slight incline, passing us as if we were a slow driver on a highway. It missed the first set of trees by three or four feet, the very top branches lightly scrapping the roof - just enough to peel the lights on that side off. It came to a halt a good ten feet from the next set of trees, another grouping of massive trees.

We ran out of the truck immediately to check the horses. They were perfectly fine. They didn't kick or paw, or toss their heads. There wasn't so much as a bumped nose, and thankfully they were both wearing fly masks so any branches that might have poked them, didn't.

I secured my lead rope to Smokey (I had just hooked him to the trailer ties, and carried his rope in the truck) and opened the back door to the trailer. I realized it was a bit of a leap to the ground, particularly since the trailer was at an unnatural tilt. So instead of backing Smokey, I turned him and let him hop out. He was a bit up, but honestly no more up than he is whenever he arrives in a new place.

Donna did the same with Cloud. We tied them to the side and I set out hay bags so they could relax, while she called for help.

And help came.

In this picture you can see exactly how close we came.

You can see the dent in the front - we think the trailer hit the truck bumper although we didn't feel it.

We went over and over how this could have happened. I didn't hook up the trailer myself. I think of other people's trailers in the same way I think of other people's horses. You don't hook up another person's trailer any more than you mess with their horse. Help, sure. Line it up, absolutely. But every trailer I've come across has it's little idiosyncrasies, as does every trailer owner, present company included. So I can't be sure of what went wrong.

We know we had the right size ball.

We know we had the lock on (you can see it's still "locked" in the first picture).

The only two possibilities were that the ball has somehow gotten worn, or that the hitch never fully enclosed the ball. Despite the fact that the lock engaged. Can that even happen?

Eventually, with the help of a mechanic's jack and some well placed blocks of wood, we hitched back up, but since we were close to the starting point for the ride, we decided not to load the horses back in. If the trailer wasn't safe, we wanted to find out when the horses weren't in it. Instead we saddled our horses up while someone else drove the trailer over to the parking area about 100 yards away.

The horses were up, way up, but so were we. They were in a new place far from home, and we'd just survived, without a scrap, what could have been a full fledged nightmare.

It would be a long time before any of us calmed down.

And yet, believe it or not, there was one more miracle (albeit a more minor one) to come.

To be continued...

Storm Ranch Ride, Part one: Accidents will happen.

2011-04-10T15:48:00.007-05:00

I was looking forward to the big ride on Saturday. Ever since the endurance ride I unexpectedly took part in last fall, I was looking forward to another opportunity to ride the Storm Ranch. When Donna suggested I take part in the TETRA ride out there, it was pretty irresistible.

The TETRA rides are walk/trot affairs with folks who are there to just trail ride. No timed obstacles. No vet checks. No goals other than riding together, staying safe and getting your horse out in a big group of horses they don't know. Don't get me wrong, I think the timed obstacles and endurance rides are terrific. But these TETRA rides are low key affairs in beautiful places. The kind of rides people travel for hours, by plane or by truck, the ones ranches advertise in the Trail Riders magazine. They are about not seeing buses, or monuments, or telephone lines. They are about the land, horses, and like minded horse crazy people.

They are not about accidents.

But these things happen.

-------------------

The plan was that we'd go in my truck and trailer, mostly because of gas mileage. Donna's diesel gets something like 5 meters to the gallon, so when possible we opt for our truck. I ran through my check list:

Clean Horse:

Check!

Er... uncheck. SMOKEY! Durn it!

Hey! What's the big deal?
I only rolled on one side this time!

Mexican trailer Jack:

Two new tires:

Check! Next month we'll get the other two.

I filled up the tank and was driving back home when I checked in Donna about departure time. That's when she told me she was taking Cloud.

Cloud? I said, a little surprised. Cloud is a terrific horse, but he's a HUGE Missouri Fox Trotter. Easily 16 hands, maybe more. Shoulders like a draft horse. "Do you think he'll fit in my trailer?"

Here's the trailer, which we used to go to NM last year.

The back load area of the trailer is bigger than the front, but a horse has to know to position itself to get it's hindquarters in. It's actually roomy, but with no rails to guide it into position I've had trouble with horses loading there. I wasn't sure how this was going to go.

"He'll be fine. He's really easy going," she said.

I imagined a scene from a movie where the big hockey player tries to sit in the elementary school chair while meeting with the teacher. As I recalled, it didn't go well.

I woke up at dark thirty, dropped the kids off with my mom, said bye to DH who was off on a motorcycle trip. I was at the barn right on time and proceeded to load a few last minute things in the trailer. Donna had already fed the horses, and we got ready to load.

Smokey was a little tough to load (again), and I had to wave off help. I'm going to load him repeatedly this week to get this tied down again. But after two attempts, he was in.

Then it was Cloud's turn.

Cloud took one look at the trailer and turned into a giraffe. Part giraffe and part hippo butt.

I'd never seen Donna not eventually get a horse in a trailer.

Until Saturday.

Cloud wigged out, to put it politely. I was there to try to apply pressure where directed. It was completely ineffective. Twice he knocked into Donna. Once knocked her on the ground. Three times he reared on his way out of the trailer (which was quite majestic, although a little scary given his size. 15-20 minutes of this and it was clear. We weren't getting anywhere.

A little about Cloud. He's Donna's hubby's horse. He gets ridden very little. He only rides (as far as I've seen) in her large 4 horse trailer. He'd been getting bratty, which was part of her reason for getting him out. Also she'd just sold her endurance horse and her horse in training had a pulled groin muscle.

As for Cloud, there was no way he was getting into the little two horse. It was time for plan B. We moved everything over to her trailer, and after a moment, loaded both in the 4 horse. We were running way behind, but still within the window of time needed.

------------------

We got to Storm Ranch through the back way, a way I hadn't gone before. There was a fork in the road and we ended up taking the wrong fork and had to turn around, going back through very narrow, very bumpy cattle guards. After we crossed the second one, I heard a weird noise from the back of the truck.

As I turned to ask Donna what that sound was my mouth dropped. There was the trailer, passing us like an errant ocean liner, headed for the side of the road.

"The trailer - it's passing us!" I said, helpfully stating the obvious.

I watched in horror as it glided by us, heading for a set of oak trees.

To be continued...

Dance

2011-04-05T22:04:00.003-05:00

On Monday, the horse dentist was back out for re-checks. This is what I love about Loren. Every horse she works on gets a free re-check one month later. And while she checks them, she does little adjustments.

Lily has still been sore in the shoulder, and after working on her mouth a bit (lily has teeth that are growing in toward her tongue and require a little more work) we went out to the driveway. She watched her move and adjusted her hips. Lily licked and chewed, and dropped her head. She gave me exercises to do, then encouraged me to get Lily out into the round pen.

Work her bad side too, she said.

I don't work with Lily much, never felt we had much of a connection. But as we worked in the round pen, keeping it simple, I could feel that shift.

Lily has what I think of as a classic quarter horse personality. Willing, but all business. She would be the woman who would listen to a joke, smile and then ask if there was anything else, because she had some things to get done.

As she moved around, enjoying the soft ground of the round pen, she checked in with me. Usually you have to remind her that yes, you are in charge. Not this time.

Things shifted. We were moving together. I passed the wand to my other hand and she turned in. I lowered my energy, she came down to a walk. At one point she trotted, following me, backed up and spun, all at liberty, all in sync.

Then Smokey and I did the same. I didn't want to ride since we had done a 10 mile training ride the day before, and I wanted to focus on just enjoying the moment with my horse.

So I danced with two horses (not at once), both at liberty, both in sync with my every move.

In writing this I can still feel the peace of it, and marvel at how such a simple, yet improbable thing can be so powerful so as to stop time, and suspend you above all things.

The Problem with Cantering

2011-04-02T21:59:00.005-05:00

Everything was going pretty smooth. Smokey and I have had increasing success turning at the canter. Then I saw it.

A dry spot. Walk around to the other side. Oh goodie. A matching one.

My little colt is growing up. And all this crazy cantering is bulking up those shoulders, apparently.

Here's the horse I bought.

Here's the horse I have now.
Not only did he change colors, he's shaped different!

Thanks A LOT, Trail Rider. I *had* a perfectly standard QH bar sized horse. But no, you had to get me cantering and NOW look at him. Lord only knows what kind of tree he needs now. (I swear, if he needs a gaited tree I'm going to kick myself. Hard)

Speaking of which, Smokey turns six this month. I decided to give him a nice bath and shampoo him up, inspired by the rather intense day over at Brown Eyed Cowgirl (between her and Mickey, I'm worn out just reading). Look at him. Isn't he shiny?

Isn't the hay in the mane thing adorable?

But honestly. I don't know why I even bother.

Smokey: You know, I think I'm still clean on the right side...

Me: Oh geez. I can't look. I knew I should have tied him up.

Lily: I told you he's impossible.

Part 2 Adventures in Trailering and Circles at the Canter

2011-03-29T22:49:00.006-05:00

Now where was I?

Oh yes, I was watching in horror as a young lady walked into a herd of seven or so horses with a bucket of grain to catch her gorgeous but too smart for her quarter horse. Trail Rider looked at the pasture where much chaos was ensuing.

"You know what this is?"

I nodded. "Horse catching 101."

He handed me his horse (now I was holding Lily, Woody, and Smokey. I'm good, but I'm not that good. I wandered over to a spot to tie them up) and TR was off to try to make sure no one got killed.

He proceeded to show her how to catch her horse, using a technique Julie Goodnight uses. I like to call it "You are the Last Horse I Want to Have Near Me."

In short order the mare got the message and turned to be caught.

I sympathized, having had to chase my own horse down on occassion. Some women take this pretty personally, in my experience. "My horse doesn't like me!" I know I used to.

These days I don't think it's about being liked or disliked, per se. I'd say there are many, many things potentially going on: pain from a previous session (this horse had been ridden in the wrong bit last time out), bad timing (it's grain time, not riding time), "respect," and sometimes the "don't wannas." And sure, maybe sometimes your horse doesn't "like" you. Sometimes you might not like him either. Like when he's running around a 3 acre field refusing to be caught, for example.

After that and a brief lunging session with another horse, we loaded Smokey and Lily up with Woody and headed over to TR's place to switch out horses. DH stayed back to finish tire repair, and was off for more motorcycle time.

Smokey and Lily dashed around with some concern in TR's paddock, shared grain, and sniffed at the neighbor's horses while we got Lola and Vaquero ready. Lola is the horse with the stifle issue who also tends to be a kicker at other horses. Vaquero is a Paso Fino that TR bought when his back issues were making it tough to ride.

We headed over to the ranch sorting practice at Cibolo. I've ridden there before, mostly just in circles and once helping "push" cattle. I feel worlds away from the rider I was back then. I was so uncertain of everything. Every. Thing.

Now, it's not so much that I'm certain, but I'm not worried like I used to be. When I warmed up Lola in the round pen and brought her up to a canter, I just smiled. There's no fear there. Even though I don't know Lola very well (I'd never ridden her before, other than the brief five minutes a week after TR brought her home), I was confident in my aides, my hands, and in her.

oh god, don't let my mother see me slouching.

There's no fear. You know, this horse thing is a hell of a lot more fun when you aren't scared.

Don't get me wrong, I still respect the dangers, the things that can happen. I know a blow up can happen on even the most solid horse. But I know it in the same way I know I could be in a car accident. I don't expect it any more, I don't look for it, but I proceed with all due attention without the rigidity that comes from anticipating the worst.

I don't clench the steering wheel... er ... reins.

We walked into the arena and met a friend of TRs, A, who was there to try his hand at sorting. He's been taking lessons and TR convinced him to come on out. I would do two rides, since I'm a woman on a budget, A would ride out with TR on a couple.

TR on Vaquero, with his uber cool mecate set up.

I had to take back all the mean things I ever said about Lola. TR has been hard at work conditioning her and she rode perfectly. We worked a bit on her buddy sour issue, but it only took a bit of urging from me to get her rolling out (she initially gave A a tough time with this, but she probably realized he was a newbie, and gave him the mare eye roll). TR has high expectations of his horses and is willing to put in the time to get them to their potential. She was a great ride.

TR and I had one awful run, but our second one was much better. We actually got two or three of the calves we were trying for that time! LOL! Given that neither one of us was on a terribly experienced horse, (lord knows the horses didn't have the most experienced rider, at least as far as I go) we felt good with that last run. A had a tough time in the sorting pen, but enjoyed taking Lola out on a ride around the arena.

The best part is that I rode two different horses in one day. I'd have ridden longer if given the option but even the best days come to an end. I felt like a kid that just doesn't get enough, no matter how many hours they spend in the saddle. It was way, way too short.

Since Friday I've worked with Smokey on his canter circles, and while he was a certifiable MESS on Sunday, Monday he wasn't half bad. He was far more willing, and I didn't get any of the really bad behavior (like Sunday when he almost plowed into my daughter at the other end of the arena on Cody). Steering was improved slightly, on Monday I found I'm catching things earlier - less chance of plowing into someone that way), and he is going at the trot collected for longer and longer. I'm figuring out where to hold the reins so he has some contact, but not so loose that he swings his head around in confusion.

I need to remember how much time all this takes, and to take every bit of it (no pun intended). Rushing is no good for either one of us.

And even if I could ride all day, I have to give him soaking time.

We all need soaking time...

Adventures in Trailering and Circles at the Canter

2011-03-27T17:24:00.004-05:00

I took Friday off from work, and decided to devote the afternoon and evening to horse related activities. I texted Trail Rider and he was able to get the day off as well.

I nearly imploded from excitement.

Instead, both my trailer tires imploded on the way over.

But wait, I wasn't supposed to tell you that yet. I was supposed to build up the suspense, yada yada.

The plan was to meet at my old barn, which is open again and filled with horses. There's even a waiting list. I love riding there, the arena is fabulous and I enjoy Sharon so much. So I was looking forward to getting there. There was a possibility that DH would be joining us, so I loaded Lily as well as Smokey.

She hasn't been sound at the trot, but I decided to try using a pain med a vet had given me to use before work. Given that I am running out of options (she is still on adequan, it seemed worth trying - I'd been resistant because I don't want to merely mask the problem. But my ability to get this diagnosed AGAIN is... well, let's just say I'm focusing on keeping the hay flowing right now.

Still time off is not working. She's crabby mare, which is who she was when we first got her. Lily needs to be involved, engaged, doing something.

We were about halfway there when a guy in a white pick up pulled up beside me at a light.

"You've blown a tire," he said.

I checked the mirror, but couldn't really see the tire. I pulled over once I was past the light and hopped out there it was. Shredded.

Thank god I had a double axle trailer. I looked at the spare. It didn't look much better.

"Do you have a jack?" the guy had pulled over behind me. This is what I like about Texas. I know how to change a tire, but have only had to do so twice in my life because a guy always stops and helps.

I do, but it's complicated. See, I can't open the tail gate in DH's truck because the handle is broken. DH opens it no problem but my little thin fingers are lousy levers. Lucky this guy, Tony, was gifted with big fingers as well.

I called Trail rider and DH (who was riding his iron horse - the harley) and gave them an update. Needless to say, I was going to be late.

We got the tire on. Oddly, Tony admonished me for pulling over and not checking the tire from inside the truck (I couldn't see it from there). "I could have been a bad guy" said Tony, concerned. I pointed out that I immediately got on my cell phone and we were on a busy enough road in broad daylight. And I had to see what was happening. Then he confessed that he has a young daughter and always worries about these things.

"Don't go far, that spare has dry rot," he said as he drove off.

I just had ten miles to go. And I was too far from my home barn now. I put it in drive and headed off.

And made it about five miles before the spare blew.

I made my calls and said I'd be limping in, but at this point I was going to try to get there. Let me tell you, a shredded tire kicks up an enormous amount of dust, even at 10 miles an hour.

I got there forty five minutes behind schedule, but determined. Determined to ride like crazy. You don't come in on three tires and sit on your bumper, mourning your lost treads!

I saddled both horses and tied Lily (she eventually had to be moved to a patience tree, since she decided to paw). Smokey and I rode with Trail Rider, warming up. Then TR put me through some paces.

What I wanted to accomplish was canter circles. Since steering remains such an issue - at the canter, I think we're solid at the trot - it's the area I need the most practice. A few weeks ago I asked the trainer/barn owner to ride Smokey so I could see what I was doing wrong.

I saw it immediately. I had too much play in the reins. With me, Smokey was at a loss on where to hold his head. I would pull them in, play them out, but with she kept the reins a more consistent length and much shorter than I do. Even at the canter. And she worked on catching the problem at the turn much earlier. That's what I needed to do. Anticipate and compensate.

TR demonstrated perfect canter circles on Woody and we attempted to follow. The trot was lovely, I had to work a bit on collection, because being in a new place Smokey was definitely "up" in head as well as in spirit. After far more trot circles than should be needed, I'd get him into the canter, which he started by throwing his head fairly high. Almost like a kick start. Once going he has a rocking horse canter, but he gets into swinging his head around oddly. It was ugly looking, but really, what do I expect? We've only done this a few times. And now we were doing it - a lot. He was getting annoyed at one point, but I kept my cool and we worked through the crow hop, cow kick and a buck threat.

I wish I could say by the end we were doing great. But we weren't. We were mediocre. Even that is probably a stretch. But it was a vast improvement from where we started.

I keep reminding myself this is where we used to be at the TROT. I am making progress. When DH arrived he elected to take care of the tire issue instead of ride. I knew he felt bad that I had a hard time, since he sees trailer maintenance as his job. But honestly with the six months we have had, it's a wonder we're both still walking. So he brought back two tires as we finished up but encourage me to hit the road. Given the time, Lily ended up not getting ridden, but it was okay. Sometimes you have to go through the motions. The plan was now that Lily and Smokey would have a slumber party at TR's place. I'd move them back home in the morning.

Because I wasn't done with horse time. No sir. We had another horse activity planned.

Ranch Sorting.

Of course before we left we had a bit of drama, things I've forgotten how much fun they are to deal with. Like watching someone try to catch their horse, then reacting with horror when seeing them inexplicably walking into an entire herd of horses with a bucket of grain.

But you'll have to wait for Part 2. Cuz this cowgirl is sackin' out for the night!

Off Topic - Photo from Spring Break

2011-03-25T08:03:00.000-05:00

We had the best time in Odessa, which is saying something, cuz usually I'm not so thrilled about heading out that way.

But this time, we had a blast.

Here's one little picture from the trip. DH had just tossed up my daughter's snow leopard into the air and I got this with my iphone. Can you believe my luck!?

Check out my little one

2011-03-24T09:37:00.000-05:00

If you get a chance, wander over an leave a comment on my little one's blog, would ya? She'll be thrilled to pieces. http://themireyablog.blogspot.com/

:)

From Stephanie

2011-03-22T16:54:00.002-05:00

In case you missed it, this was in the comments from the Stephanie:
....

Aww, thank you guys so much for all the warm wishes. I think Cibolo needs more hugs than me right now, it sounds like he's pretty mopy!

It's funny, but I think he and I will come out closer for it in the end, given all the time we'll be spending on the ground and at slower paces in saddle.

It really tells you a lot about a horse when you see their reaction after a fall, and also the importance of getting right back on. I think Cibolo really knows it was a bad fall because I wasn't right back up afterwards. And I don't think I've ever seen him acting more concerned and upset (even regarding late meals).

....

Thanks everybody, we'll keep you updated!

Today in the ER...

2011-03-21T20:32:00.004-05:00

Um, mom? I'm over here... Mom? Mom!

First of all, while I was in the ER, I wasn't the injured party.

But I was there for Stephanie.

We had planned to go to lunch, I wanted to thank her for coming over and feeding our motley crew while we were out on a little spring break trip.

We im'd back and forth for a while, trying to figure out if we could go riding instead of lunch. But our big girl was sick, and I had to wait for my DH to come home and take care of her before I could leave. So we settled for lunch.

Then my phone rang.

"I can't reach anyone, can you come now? I think I broke my arm."

"WHAT?" I jumped up and started for the stairs.

"I fell off Cibolo and I think my arm is broken."

"I'm on my way."

I know, from experience, that the longest time in the world is the moment you hang up with someone and the moment they get there. I loaded my sickly child into the truck (she was on the mend, so I wasn't too worried) and rushed over to the barn. When I ran in, I knew things were bad. Cibolo was hanging his head, still saddled with his reins on the ground. Stephanie would never leave her horse saddled with his reins on if there was anyway she could help it.

This was bad. Cibolo looked... okay, I'm going to anthropomorphize here, so if you have a problem with that, skip to the next paragraph. He looked completely bummed out. Stephanie said when they made it back to the barn he put his head on her chest, nuzzling her, and she could tell he felt awful about what happened.

Which was: they were cantering in the driveway when a cat (and this place doesn't even have a cat) dashed out from the bushes and startled Cibolo. He didn't buck or anything, but must have done one of those horse teleporting moves.

Unfortunately Stephanie's teleportation device failed. Mostly because she's in a saddle right now that isn't quite a right fit for her or Cibolo. And the best seat in the world won't keep you on the sunny side.

The verdict: Broken Humerus. Which I found ironic, given the first thing she started talking about after we left the ER was when she could get back in the saddle. Clearly her sense of humor is completely intact.

As one who has a history of completely ignoring doctor's orders when it comes to getting back on my horse, I sympathized and frankly, I'm likely to be an enabler. We talked about all the cool things you could work on from the ground and the stuff you could do at a walk.

Then we had lunch and celebrated her first broken bone. Tomorrow I'll head to the barn to feed for her. Between us all we'll pick up the slack.

Stoopid cat.