Sunday, January 23, 2011

I HATE Mom's Cell Phone

Hi. This is Smokey.

Mom is still on the down low. Or low down. Or whatever you call it, but I insisted on sharing the crazy thing that happened a few days ago.

We had not done the whole saddle thing for ages. Like FOREVER!

It was a week.

I thought you weren't going to talk.

Someone has to keep you honest.

Whatever. Okay. It was a week. And you know how it is after that much time. The whole thing seems all new and stuff. She made me stand still, which seems pointless, if you ask me. Every time I'd move just a hoof out of place...

You were on the entirely other side of the trailer.

Distances can be deceiving. I think it's because you use that black lead rope. It throws off your depth perception.

Anyway, there I was, still as a statue... and after an hour or so...


Ahem! After wards we went over to the orange sand circle. It was fine except that there was a HUGE monster behind the tree. Here's a drawing.
See the black line - that was the sensible path to follow given there was a monster laying in wait for some poor unsuspecting horse to wander by.

But nooooo. Somebody had another idea. I was trying to sort of just

ignore my cue?

I wouldn't put it that way. But clearly you were crazy.

and determined.

Right. So after she dug her spurs into me...

I don't even have spurs.

What. ever. Anyway, I obliged, despite my very reasonable concerns.

Then it happened! There was a huge dog lunging the fence, about to devour us! It was barking the "You are my DINNER" bark! Right when we were at that very spot!

I was RIGHT! There was a monster there all along!

I could feel it's hot breath, the fangs rattled on the bars, which were bending under it's enormous paws.

Fortunately for all involved I knew exactly what to do.

I went over to the gate which is how you get out! Aren't I smart?

I told you 50 times, it was my CELL PHONE.

Was not. Your little box sounds like bugs. Sometimes bells.

DH's ring is bells. One is set for crickets.
But Sierra's ring is barking dogs.

And you know what? We didn't leave! We kept going over to the monster over and over!
Tempting fate! That's what we call that nonsense!

We had to end on a good note.

Hey, having the presence of mind to move to the gate? That's not a good note?

That was spooking.

Was not! Was clearly higher level thinking!

So after we completed some
maneuvers and calmed down...

Right. After all that, I had to do all this fancy stuff around the cones and FINALLY we got to leave. Then when we were walking back mom's little box was making all this noise like it was a barking dog. Isn't that weird?

I was trying to desensitize you to it.

Everybody knows there aren't monsters on the way back to the barn. Yesh. It's just a little box that makes noise. Didn't even sound like real dogs. Thing is darn annoying. I don't know why she even has it.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, some of those ringtones are pretty darned annoying - particularly when they happen at the wrong side of the ring!

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Cute post. I love the drawings, especially the monster with the big mouth and teeth!

Smokey, in some Competitive Trail Rides, all kinds of animals sound off. I know, I tried to scare you guys with an animal noise box. Just saying...

Jeni said...

hahahaha I have soooo been there! Except my phone has the maniacal laugh from the Minions on Despicable Me !!

John and Regina Zdravich said...

This was one of the best posts I have read in a long time!!! Love it! The horse's point of view -- I think you nailed it!

Dan and Betty said...

That was great and very perceptive. Thanks for the smile and chuckle.


A Work In Progress said...

Oh, I can relate to this! I always carry my cell phone when I ride, and I always forget to silence the ringer. Spooks my horse every single time!

You'd think that they would figure out that when the little box goes off they get to stop while you fish it out of your pocket and then talk into it. Silly horses!

Great post!

Allenspark Lodge said...

"Everybody knows there aren't monsters on the way back to the barn."

Yep. Common knowledge.

Great post!


Achieve1dream said...

Oh my goodness!!! That is so hilarious! I love the way your wrote this post. :D

Grey Horse Matters said...

Oh Smokey! You are so cute and smart. But you have to listen to mom when she says you're safe.

Such a cute post, you had me smiling all the way through. Glad you got in a ride.

Susan said...

I didn't realize how many people ride with their cellphones. Poor Smokey, no wonder you freaked out.

Shirley said...

That was very entertaining Smokey! Hope things are going better for you now Breathe.

cdncowgirl said...


I think my favourite part was the "What. ever."

Wolfie said...

Smokey - Mom knows best.....really....she does....

BrownEyed Cowgirl said...


That was an awesome post!!!!!

Jan said...

Breathe, Adorable post! Smokey is one smart horse!

cdncowgirl said...

I'd like to share the Stylish Blogger award with you, stop by my blog to pick it up :)

Teaspoon said...

Hilarious! I completely understand about the monsters :)

Morning Bray Farm said...

LOVE it. Great post!!! You go, Smokey!

We hope you're doing okay. Miss you. :)

Rising Rainbow said...

Too funny! The thing that always gets me is that look they get when they realize they've been foolish. Sounds like Smokey had that look at the end. LOL

Unknown said...

This is one of the best I have ever read!
Thanks for lettng me smile today!