The plan today was a lesson and trail ride, but it's pouring.
But I've been thinking (I can already hear Frankie groaning. You're right, Frankie. Thinking is getting me tied up in circles.).
I have a goal. I need to know where the lines are.
I feel like I did when I was a new mom and every situation seemed overwhelming. I had so much information I was only missing my kid's DNA sequence. Advice from PHDs, SHM (stay at home moms), relatives, total strangers, talking heads on TV. It was paralyzing. It occured to me that it was so easy to do things wrong. I was sure if I overreacted I'd create a monster, and if I underreacted I'd create a needy, neurotic kid.
Of course, I've probably created both, but I have been investing in a therapy fund so they can work it out for themselves later. I've written "Hey, I tried" on the envelope.
Hopefully they'll have a sense of humor.
I'm looking for a scale of some sort. Where should the needle be?
In Kate and Rudy (Trailrider)'s exchange of comments on the previous post I found myself agreeing with both of them and understanding that I've got to do a bit of both: trust my gut and be firm/strong. What's interesting is Rudy found with Vaquero he needed to lighten up. I think with Cibolo I need to toughen up, but not past the point where I lose that "feel" that Kate talks about so eloquently on her blog.
Cibolo is not like Canyon, he has a sweet side but is not really fearful. That situation outstripped his general nature and required additional intensity of leadership I'd never established. I think of it as what is required of people in an emergency. Smoke everywhere, sirens, you are coughing up a lung and what you seek is someone to yell firmly "Over here! Now! It'll be safe!" not someone who says "if you come over here, I've got a cookie..."
Not that I'm making my horse human. But I'm a metaphor person, so it's how I think...
It's supposed to clear this afternoon. . .