Monday, November 30, 2009

A good question

One Red Horse posed a good question on my last post:
Just wonder, what do you want with your boy?

What do I want? It seemed simple two years ago when this adventure began. I want a horse I can safely trail ride on, either alone or in large groups. That was it.

But these days I've learned so much more, I've added considerably to the list.

I want that pocket pony kind of horse. Lily is not big on affection, Cibolo is big on it.

I want a horse that I can lead. Too alpha a horse and I'm probably not going to be a strong enough leader.

I want a horse without significant holes in its training, because I don't have the skills to fill them.

I want a horse with a generally calm nature. Every horse will spook, but some do so more than others.

I want Cibolo to be this horse. I think we have a connection. But I have to be good to him too. A poor match of horse and rider can set back a horse - I've seen it happen.

This week our trainer is going to evaluate him and see what she thinks. I didn't think he was that green, but maybe I really need an older horse. Or maybe he needs a more skilled rider.

Or maybe I can get there.


Veronica said...

I hope you can get there. On the upside, it's confidence building for me to read about other people also having issues.

Anonymous said...

Good luck - I think your approach is very thoughtful!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and one other thing - I wouldn't necessarily have chosen the horses I have today if I could go back and do it all over again. I've always had a penchant for really hot horses, so that's what I have, but I'm in my late 50s and a lot more self-protective than I used to be. Maisie is pretty hot, but also very willing, so we can deal although sometimes things are harder than I'd like. Dawn on the other hand (and Lily before her who is now retired) is a whole 'nother kettle of fish, as they say. I could never get rid of her, as she is my younger daughter's "soul horse", so I have to deal. Working with her is extremely challenging for me, but at this point on balance that's a good thing as I have to really reach within myself for something more to find a way to work with her. And I think she's a really great horse - her "horseness" and personality are outstanding.

None of this necessarily applies to you at all as I think our circumstances are quite different.

Michelle said...

Interesting timing, as I was just listening to a podcast yesterday that discussed how we often get the horse we "need" not the horse we "want". I hope that you are able to work through your issues and come away with a horse you are satisfied with - whether it be Cibolo or another lucky equine.

Grey Horse Matters said...

I'm sure with time and patience and the proper training for both of you the time will come when you feel safe with the horse you have. Good luck.

One Red Horse said...

When I read your answer, I think you are already well on the way to the horse you want. Just hope you give yourself credit for your considerable skills. Now I have to think about the same question for myself.

Breathe said...

Veronica- I know what you mean. I felt like the only newbie when I started writing, and its such a relief to find others with similar issues!

Kate - I never knew that about Maisie, but I knew Dawn was a ... burden of motherhood, if you know what I mean. Sort of like my adventure with mice. Which is another blog altogether.

Michele - I suspect you're right.

GHM - I really hope so!

ORH - You know everytime I think I'm getting some better skills, I'm humbled by a horse. :)

jacksonsgrrl said...

I like what what Michelle said, We get the horse we need, not the one we want. Certainly, I have thought I was overhorsed SO many times, but then got my butt to work and the rewards are so many....and so much more thrilling when we get something right. Hope you find what you're looking for, hopefully it's right in front of your nose!

Anonymous said...

i' ve had my arabian gazi for two years.. and trust me.. i still ask the "good question" your posing... Given time with horse, time in seat... the answer changes ... tho the ? invariably pops back up

happy trails

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

I keep hearing about that cheery quote: "You don't get the horse you want, you get the horse you need."

But don't we know what we need? After being injured by my horse I know now more than ever what I need and don't need. I love my mare, but I can't even trust her to carry my kids around on her. What makes her safe enough for me to ride, if she can't even be trusted to carry my kids?
What makes me more qualified to ride her?
Not much I am sure.
Is she what I need? I don't know. But she is teaching me a lot. Is it what I need to get back up on her back again....probably not. But, I am learning how to rebuild my self confidance and to not put up with the crap I used to put up with from her. And that has been freeing for me.

But what I really need to get me back on a horse again is a horse that I don't hold my breath with while in the saddle.