A picture is worth a thousand words

From Sunday.

Mireya, in the car, on the way home:
"You know, in a few weeks
I'll be back to riding the way
I was before I fell off."

One month ago she wouldn't even PET a horse.

I'm so proud of her.




Sierra and me (Lovely squint, aye? and where is my helmet?)

Daddy and Mireya with some shadow play.

Lots to update, but there are presents to wrap and send off north. So hopefully, tomorrow!

Baby's fall

It was the worst day ever.

Okay, I take that back. When we found out our eldest daughter (who was two days old) had a birth defect that would require open heart surgery when she was seven months old - THAT was the worst day ever.

But this was damn close.

Mireya fell off Canyon. And it was all my fault.

First of all, she's fine. I mean, she got a few bruises and scrapes, but she's fine.

But the fact she fell, that was all my fault. I didn't have Canyon's rope (he had been latched on and I was letting her "steer") and he took off in the little arena. As she got scared, so did he, and he cantered. She stayed on for two beats then hit the ground.

The only things I did right was she had her helmet, boots and jeans on and we were in a sandy arena.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She's come around, we've all told her she's joined the club since we've all fallen off a horse a time or two. Her new nick name is Rodeo Princess. Injured Rodeo Princess. She loves that.

.............



But I never, ever wanted her to fall.

I also never want:

• Her heart to be broken.
• Someone to yell at her.
• Her to get a fever.
• Twist her ankle.
• To be scared.
• to be sad.

Okay, I know, I'm going too far with the last one. But that's what mothering is in my world. The world biggest physical and emotional bubblewrap.

And what happened was completely preventable. The moment I looked at Canyon and felt that shift, that sense that he wasn't listening, I knew. But I thought, one more.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

God cut me some slack, and she came away very nearly unscathed. She came back to the stables, but doesn't want to ride. I'm not pushing it, although I did tell her the reason Canyon took off was because he is a big old chicken and he didn't know that she'd fall off and that he wasn't trying to buck her off.

Which is the only good part of the whole damn thing. Canyon was freaked out (since we all started yelling at him to stop and our group fear normally would have triggered a buck in the old days).

Afterwards my husband took Mireya home and I worked Canyon. I ran him around the round pen, both of us terribly upset. He bucked and ran like he was being chased, I cried and snapped my carrot stick. When I put him up he was listening to everything I said, watching me carefully, warily.

I sat there with Sierra, finally crying, and my big girl said it wasn't my fault. She was wrong, of course, but it was nice anyway. And she said she'd share her horse with Mireya, which made me proud.

Adam came back (having dropped Mireya off with grammy) and I broke down the rest of the way. Hell, I'm breaking down now, just writing about it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

.............



I went back the next day and Canyon and I did some despooking, trail riding, and relationship repair.

It'll take a few more sessions, but he came around a bit. Today we did some work and I could see we'll need more time to heal up and move on.

I'm still upset. So is he. But neither one of us meant any harm.

I have to remember that. And cut us both some slack.

Lessons at Dusk

Mireya decides to take pictures
With my phone.
This is now my favorite photo.
She's got a gift.















Mireya waits for her turn to ride
Like a good cowgirl.
She gets lessons from mommy.
Which mostly consist of
Stop and go riding.

Which is most kinds of riding, I guess













Sierra's lesson on Lily goes well
Lily is a bit stiff,
needs turning exercises.
All those years on barrels















Mireya's turn, stopped on the "bridge"

Canyon, a willing lesson horse.

Who would have thought it?










Horse girl.


Look at that smile.













Writing is going well, thanks for the supportive words! My novel is a mystery of sorts. But here's an example of my writing (that's not horse related) that's been published ( in Christian Science Monitor a few years ago)

Embrace the Boredom

It's not enough for it to be an electronic leash, now there are a plethora of "content" you can get on your cell phone. A young man was relating how instead of having to read old magazines in the doctor's office he can now play a game – Tetris, online role playing, whatever. Now, he said, you don't have to get bored.

This is, of course, a huge loss.

When my daughter whined about being bored, I told her it was a wonderful thing. "Just think," I said in a conspiratory whisper, "of all the wonderful things that happen when you're bored..."
"Like what?" she asked, taken aback.

"You'll see.."

I live most of my own life busy. Rushing here, running there. When a chance to be bored comes – a chance to sit in a non-stimulating environment and be with just myself – it starts out very uncomfortable. First I look for something, anything, to read. Labels. Signs. Fine print. But as time stretches out, beyond the available distractions, I sit with myself.

And I learn things.

Small things connect in my mind. Long gone ideas resurface, surprised at the silence, then scurry about in the quiet, leaving idle thoughts in their wake.

Fragments of songs. Ideas for stories. Scents of food for dinner. Visions of solutions where none were a few minutes before.

Boredom is a gift, really. Like a seedling suddenly free of the shadow of an ancient oak, boredom becomes the open sky that lets our inner self stretch and reach beyond our mental shadows. We rarely let ourselves get past the initial anxiety. The anxiety of having nothing to do.

Nothing to do but think.

With a generation growing up with no opportunity to be bored, I realize they are being robbed by distraction. Robbed of the gifts that only arise when you turn that corner of boredom and run into yourself.

All we can wish for, I suppose, is spotty cell coverage.

Lily and Sierra hit the trail

Sorry I've been gone so long. It's not going to get better, I'm afraid. I've recommitted to my writing (I have one novel with an agent and am working on a second I just figured out the plot for) and have to redirect my energy there.











So I'm going to go for quick, brief, entries.

Horse Haiku, if you will.

(Not true Haiku, for all you purists out there.)

















Saturday Sierra had her first trail ride on Lily
Lily is the horse I dreamed she would be.
Level headed. Responsive. Spook free. Patient.
My daughter glows.




We rode with our friend Rudy at his house
with his daughter too.
She's starting to become... horsey.
Dad's pumped.










Saturday I rode alongside Sierra, riding Canyon.
Charged by horses on the other side of the fence,
He had to canter in concern for 20 yards or so.
He did not buck. I did not freak. I let him canter a bit.
We got through safely.
Progress.











Despooking is starting to pay off.
Scary sheets bear carrots.
Green balls are squishy.
Courage is a long road.
A road worth riding.

Trust is a long road too.

Kids, Horses, and a picture parade

Welcome to my first Picture Parade!


Here's a little of our day on Sunday...

First, we got our horses tacked up...

(HorseS! I'm still so excited to have 2.)


Sierra has really started to feel comfortable working with Lily. Because it's sort of a pain to get to the round pen at our new stables, we're just line lunging in the arena. Both are working well with that, although before we'd hit trails I'd round pen...




Mireya learns how to boss her horse around. Canyon is cooperative about moving his hindquarters. Such a good pony.




Mireya holds Canyon. She's got a whole world of confidence with him. See?



Hmm. I need to tighten that helmet strap.

Sierra has started to trot on Lily. Lily has a beautiful floating trot. It's easy to sit, although Sierra does know how to post.



And yes, I did fix those stirrups. I think they still need to go even higher, and she's riding in tennis shoes because our last trip to the boot store was a bust. My problem is that I don't really know how to deal with the fenders, which are way too long. Any suggtestions?

And I know it looks like I've wrapped Lily in a spider web, but because she's in a tom thumb (which is what she's used to, but I'm not sure about) I've got sierra reining in just a halter. Sierra's still perfecting her release. She tends to keep the brakes on and until she's got that down I don't want her working that bit in Lily's mouth. But I wanted to make sure Lily is still good taking a bit. It was nothing. She's a terrific horse (except for the left rear hoof thing).

Best of all, Sierra is so excited about horses again.


Mireya is too. In fact after this ride she decided she wanted to learn how to untack her horse. She did great.




Sierra got Lily to get right on top of a wood platform. No problem anymore! Even Lily seems to be saying, "hey, I was fine, I thought YOU were going to fall."




Mireya is still happy just with lead line riding. I'd like her to take a camp, but she's a bit velcro these days, and I don't think I could get her to actually break free for it.

See those clouds in the background? Right after we untacked the sky opened up and kicked down a bucket of rain. Which is good, because we really need it.


Look at that belly on my boy. I've got to cut his hay intake. Or better yet, RIDE MORE!!!!

Sigh. It was a great day. Someday we'll have our own place and can do this every morning if we want to...

Versatile Horse

Ever since Canyon showed himself to be a more... challenging horse... I've been thinking of selling him. We are at a stage in our life where the reality is that we can only afford one horse. And it doesn't really work if I'm the only one who can ride him.

Granted, my youngest can ride him, but that's only at a walk and only with me leading him around.

I know the horses you can put a six year old are few and far between, but I've seen a few of them lately. And it's made me think about what my kids are missing by us having a horse that's a little too hot for them to ride on their own.

We talked for a while about getting another horse, one that everyone else could ride and I'd keep Canyon for myself. I can get him to behave. He's great on the ground, sweet with the kids in many ways. At this point I can keep him under control and he's getting better, good enough I think a conscious rider will do well with him. If you know what you're doing (which I am slowly grasping) you can keep him in a good place.

But if my older daughter's riding him, he tests her. And once he know he can get away with anything, he starts to act up. It's shaking her confidence and while she still loves him, she won't ride him after his last bratty behavior where he gave her either a buck or a cow kick (I'm not sure which, I was trying to make sure no one drowned in the horse trough).

I sat for over an hour with another horse woman talking about this. I mean, I love this horse. But no where near as much as I love my kids. And I don't really want a horse all to myself all the time. She hit the nail on the head when she said it. Even if I have more than one horse, I want them all to be more versatile.

We are not barrel racing. We aren't team penning. We aren't doing hunter jumper or dressage. We want to trail ride, maybe do a parade or two. A fun game at the arena, but we aren't looking for blue ribbons and trophies. We're not particularly competitive by nature.

So as much as it pains me I'm going to start to look for a home for him. He's a great horse, in the wrong home.