I read another really thoughtful post on mugwump chronicles (you can read it here) on fear.
She talks about her idea of addressing fear has changed. She's more patient with it, more willing to take time to really get it resolved.
So many of us are dealing with fear. We're older, we've had our run ins, we are trying.
I was thinking about dealing with a horse's fear. Cibolo, for example, is afraid of standing on the cement area of the wash rack. For a time he was moving off the cement onto the dirt. I let him.
That's a bad idea. Not because he needs to learn to stand on the cement, but because I have to help him defang the cement.
Like Mireya. She's seven and is going through this bug thing. Bugs are scary. But I don't run in and smash the bug. My mother does, but I don't. I calmly catch the bug and send it on it's way.
Scorpions are a whole different story, but hey, nobody's perfect.
Anyway, my point is that if I allow her to constantly avoid bugs, it's going to get worse, not better. If I let Cibolo avoid the cement it's not only going to get worse, but it's going to transfer to other cemented areas.
And if no one pushes me to canter on my horse, it's going to get worse. Putting it off makes it bigger and bigger.
Today, it was very windy, so I did round pen work, then rode Lily briefly in the round pen. I've been hesitant (AKA SCARED) to canter in there because it seems really small. And you're turning the entire time. And Lily is fast. And I was alone, the trainer was gone. And my husband was watching and that's nerve wracking sometimes. And, and, and...
I could justify not riding anywhere, really. I'm creative. I'm in my late 40s. I'm the mom. It's a trifecta of mad self righteous justification skills.
But, after a smooth round of trotting, I did it. I kissed her into a canter. And we made our way around in a collected and smooth canter.
And my fear shrunk, just a little more.
Three days in a row has helped and I'm going to ride a bit tomorrow too. You know the theory with horses is it's best to do things several days in a row?
Like most horse things, it seems to apply to people too.
Here's a video of Lily and I at the end of our round penning. I hope you've had a great weekend!