Thursday, January 28, 2010

OT: When I Retire From the Nutrition Police…

I had just picked up the kids from a sugar laden, carbo filled day at Grammy’s and was listening to the menu of the day.

I sighed at the long list. “Did you eat anything green? Anything at all?” I asked, herding them toward the car.

They laughed, bouncing slightly on their sugar high. Then Sierra became serious, something she does a great deal now that she’s an old lady of 11. “Mom,” she said. “When my kids come over to visit are you going to feed them all healthy food?”

She asked this with a sense of horror. I was also horrified, but more at the idea of her thinking of having her own family. Luckily, I quickly recovered.

“You mean after you finish graduate school and work for a few years? Those kids?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, mom.”

“No way,” I answered.

“Really?” she asked.

“When your kids come over they are going to eat nothing but donuts and candy bars, French fries and ice cream,” I said. “And you are going to be appalled and you’re going to tell them that you never got to eat that stuff with me when you were a kid!”

“Donuts?” she was shocked because I don’t buy donuts casually. They have that double bad rep with me – fried and sugar covered.

“Absolutely. Maybe I’ll just keep cans of icing on hand so they can eat right out of them with a spoon. It’s going to be great!”

She was visibly relieved.

And then we went home and had brocolli and rice.

Yes, it’ll be nice when I don’t have to be the nutrition police. When I don’t read every label, fight off the check out lane candy bars, and restrict soda to once a week.

It’ll be positively heaven to have on hand all the ingredients for an endless parade of colored desserts, colors that only occur in cartoons. My shelves will be stocked full of cookies of every variety. And there will be marshmallows, especially those multi-colored mini marshmallows.

And, at the end of their visit, I will pack off my little darlings to bounce off the walls when they arrive home, understanding that at some fundamental level being a grandparent is a parent’s best revenge.

In the meantime, anybody want a grape?


Gail said...

Mom used to call that, paying for your raising.

Take it one step further and buy musical instruments for your grandchildren...your daughter will love you for it.

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Ha ha! You know, I had a grandmother who I never wanted to visit, because she was so stuffy. She sensed my boredom and lack of enthusiasm when we'd visit and all sit around in chairs with our hands folded in our laps staring at each other with nothing to say. So, she started picking up one Hershey bar for me and one for my brother at the store before we visited, hoping that would encourage us to visit more often. It didn't. My other grandparents never spoiled me with treats, but they were a blast because they had such outgoing personalities.

jennybean79 said...

You go!!! Ha ha, it reminds me of my mom too - I thought whole wheat crackers were cookies for far too long. My mom started feeding us that line (the cracker/cookie line) before we were old enough to know the difference.

lytha said...

that was hilarious. thank you for sharing the conversation like that!

~lytha, who spoils the neice/nephew completely when it's time to eat

(i also learned that you don't just hand a 3 year old a chocolate pudding cup and spoon and let her walk around the house. oops. and trying to teach her how to clean up the carpet aftewards didn't go so well either.)

Michelle said...

Lol! So is THIS the trick to staying healthy?! I need a couple of kids to be responsible for and THEN I will be sure to make a balanced dinner every night!

Tammy in TX said...

Make you house like Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory! LOL They say revenge is best served cold. But when you're a grandma, revenge is best served sugar coated! LOL